Venus Rising
by phillydi
Summary: The team is called on to find a Navy Seal suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and the terrorists who have captured him. This has Hetty bringing in a new Psych Ops to the Mission. Deeks is shocked to find Dr. Macaela McGlone as the new member of the NCIS team. Will Deeks give up on Kensi to find love again with this long lost love from his past?
1. Chapter 1

**Venus Rising**

**by phillydi**

This story takes place three days after the closing scenes of _Drive (4X11). If you have been reading my reviews on NCISMagazine then you will know the Kensi and Deeks relationship has been frustrating the heck out of me. The results is this story. Thanks to my fanfic buddies for encouraging me to write again._

* * *

**Chapter One**

Deeks didn't need eyes wide open to know he was being watched.

He took a deep breath in and exhaled, slowly giving his pupils time to adjust to the early morning light. Just as he turned his head, his companion gave him a quick, sloppy kiss and moaned impatiently into his ear.

"Aw, really?!" Deeks exclaimed as he grimaced and wiped his face with the back of his hand and flumped back down on his back.

"I can't believe you let me sleep this late, Monty!" Deeks complained looking down at his watch. "I'm due back at the Mission in less than an hour. Thanks a lot!"

Deeks slowly pushed his aching torso off the hard concrete and swept the tattered sleeping bag off the rest of his body. He crawled out from under the lean-to and sat down to survey his surroundings. Venice beach was just beginning to stir. It was Deeks' favorite time of the day when everything was just starting to come to life. He starred out over the water, and watched the sun sparkling on top of the waves as the water softly touched the warm sandy beach leaving white, bubbly foam behind. The daily invasion of tourists was only a few hours away from flooding the trendy ocean community with congestion and 360 degrees of noise. For now the walkways were empty except for the joggers who ran along undisturbed. Deeks turned around to face the promenade side of the boardwalk and watched as the shopkeepers cranked open the aluminum security gates and dragged out their advertisement boards boasting_ 'The best souvenirs in Venice – Two for One_!' The sound of basketballs bouncing up and down on concrete was coming from the recreation center next to Muscle Beach. Deeks smiled as a gang of streetballers were getting in their first game of hoops for the day. He longed to join them for a few rounds but that wasn't going to happen today.

Deeks yawned and rubbed his seven day stubble. When was the last time he washed his hair? He couldn't remember. He brushed the dirt off his stained clothing which had the aroma of a dumpster that had been sitting in the Sahara Dessert for weeks. Even he had to admit he couldn't stand the smell emanating off his body. Monty sat beside him and leaned up against his friend.

"You're not smelling much better, you know," Deeks smiled as Monty tapped his paw against his partner's sleeve. "Yeah, I know, boy. It's time to go home."

Deeks scratched behind the dog's ear and Monty let out a soft bark and danced around his companion begging him to make good on his promise. The undercover canine and his handler had been camped out for the past three days at different points along the beach, blending into the homeless population who called the trendy resort their home. The city council had enacted an ordinance last year which prohibited sleeping on the beach, but the landscape was still indiscriminately dotted with blankets and small pup tents. Enforcing the ordinance was a political nightmare for the LAPD…so many cops just looked the other way. Most of the homeless slept alone with only a patch of grass to call home. Others preferred to share their meager existence with a four legged companion. It was a solitary life but for some their animals made them get up every morning. They gave them a reason to be.

Deeks never knew what it was like to be homeless but his family had come painfully close several times after his dad was incarcerated. Good friends and well-meaning neighbors gave them a hand out to keep them from becoming destitute on many an occasion. Later in life, he felt compelled to volunteer his free time working in soup kitchens and half-way houses trying to pay it forward but he knew it would never be enough. The need was too great so he tried to make a difference one person at a time. It was the reason he spent these last three days getting close to some of the indigenous people who lived with their dogs on the streets of Venice. Many of their animals were in need of food and medical attention and Deeks went undercover with Monty to try and convince them to seek the free help available from organizations like _Pets of the Homeless_.

Workers at the soup kitchen had introduced him one day to a member from the organization and he was instantly attracted to their principals and mission. He had worked with them in the past to set up care stations where the homeless could bring in their animals for food and seek medical treatment. The challenge was getting them to trust the volunteers. Many living on the street were afraid they would have to pay for the service, or even worse… that the city would take their animals away from them. Deeks knew the next step was to use his vagrant persona for undercover work among the homeless. He seamlessly infiltrated their ranks as one of their own and got the word out that help was available and it was free with no questions asked. With Monty's assistance he was able to get food to a few malnourished dogs and veterinary care for a one with an eye infection. Hopefully every one they helped would spread the word on the streets that there was assistance if they weren't afraid to just reach out.

Deeks' decision to take the three day sabbatical from NCIS was an impulsive last minute act of desperation. Deflecting and running away was his standard MO when he was hurting. If truth be told he didn't need a break, he just needed a stretch away from Kensi. The last time he saw her she was trying to make excuses as to why she was celebrating his birthday with someone else. He tried hard to hide the gaping wound in his chest but the pain had shown on his face for one brief second if anyone had stopped to notice. He was always good at rebounding, throwing out a funny quip and moving on…. but not this time. He was tired of hiding his real feelings and weary of drawing the short end of the stick every time.

Deeks sighed and finished packing up his gear and slung the heavy bag over his shoulder. Working undercover with the homeless in Venice Beach was always rewarding and worthwhile. Better yet, it allowed him to take his mind off his indifferent partner and their_ will-they or won't-they_ relationship. At least they needed him here unlike Kensi. It was obvious he felt a whole lot more for Kensi than she did for him. Hetty had warned them when they went undercover the first time as husband and wife that getting involved would be a complicated dance and she even tried to steer them away from considering any commitment other than what they would give to the mission. He should have listened to his Aunt Hetty because Kensi had obviously taken their manager's little lecture to heart. But Deeks was a free spirit and his heart had a hard time telling his brain what to do. Kensi would laugh at him if he ever told her he fell instantly in love with her the moment he first laid eyes on her. As his love grew, he realized he would do anything for this woman….even give up his own life to protect her. There was never any doubt. When Deeks loved, he loved hard.

There was once another woman who grabbed his heart like that and it devastated him when he had to let her go. She was one of a kind, and he thought she would always be the greatest love of his life. He was relieved the day he found Kensi, because he found the path back to love again. Would she ever reciprocate the feelings he had for her? Kensi was a tough nut to crack but he was willing to be patient because of her past. He continued to keep his emotions in check because he knew she would run if she knew he wanted more from her. But how many more mornings was he going to have to drag himself out of bed knowing he would have to hide his love for one more day. He wanted to share that love but Kensi was making it harder and harder for him to continue to hope.

Deeks left the beach with Monty walking close beside him. The dog could sense his misery and instinctively closed ranks. Deeks was lost in thought and didn't see the white Escalade until it pulled up quietly next to him. He casually looked over as the car continued to roll silently next to him.

"Don't look now, Monty but I think the feds are tailing us," Deeks said loud enough for the occupant to hear.

"I'd offer you a ride but there is no way that smell is getting into my car."

Deeks kept walking, staring straight ahead barely acknowledging her voice.

"What do you want, Kensi?" Deeks asked trying to keep the sadness out of his voice.

"Hetty sent me to find you, we need you back today," Kensi said hoping that Deeks would tell her what he was doing undercover at Venice Beach.

"How did you find me?" Deeks tried to act nonchalant as he continued to walk at a steady pace.

"It took a little detective work, and I know all your favorite haunts and…..look, where have you been?" she cried. "You up and left and didn't even tell me you would be off the grid all this time. I was worried about you."

Deeks was silent. Kensi stopped the car, put it in park and jumped out.

"So now you're not talking to me?" she yelled to Deeks. "Ok, I get it, you're punishing me for forgetting your birthday, is that it?

"If the shoe fits…" Deeks called over his shoulder.

"Look I promise next time, you can forget my birthday… and then we can call it even."

Deeks stopped short and quickly spun around to face Kensi. He held his index finger in the air, whipping it back and forth as he tried to gather his thoughts. He couldn't remember the last time he was this angry.

"THAT is never going happen…and do you know why?" Deeks demanded. "Because Marty Deeks would never forget Kensi Blye's birthday! And the operative word here is NEV…ER!"

"Ah, come on Marty, I told you I'm sorry, what more do you want from me?"

"If you have to ask, this conversation is over," Deeks turned his back on his partner and continued walking up the street with Monty. The dog turned his head one last time and gave Kensi a long, sad look.

_Damn. I knew this day was coming. I mean how many more times was he going to forgive me and still come back like an adoring puppy dog? I swear I didn't mean to upset him. __Do I do these things accidentally-on-purpose or do I subconsciously sabotage the relationships that mean the most to me? Sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it because it's so ingrained deep down into my psyche. I feel his love pulling me towards him and like a moth to flame I dance around him but pull away right before getting singed. Ever since Jack walked out on me, I've balanced the blame squarely on my two shoulders. It had to be my fault, right? Ok, I know he was going through a tough patch, but if I had just worked harder, tried hard, cried harder….maybe he wouldn't have left me. I gave up on him. Yeah, I know what my shrinks all said... even Nate…"It wasn't your fault, Kensi….blah, blah, blah." But they weren't there, were they? No. I will always blame myself and it will always be men like Deeks who will suffer for it. I know how he feels about me; I know he cares. But I just can't love and lose again. No, it's better this way. It's good he's angry; now maybe he will stop trying. Besides, I'm pretty sure all the hamburgers and Coronas in the world will never make this right again. _

* * *

The inspiration for this chapter came from a visit I took to Venice, California in November of 2012, where I observed a large number of homeless people living life on the beach with their dogs. It really pulls at your heartstrings and you can tell there is a real bond there between these people and their companions. It occurred to me that Deeks, with his love of dogs, would also want to find a way to make their lives a bit easier by working with an organization like _Pets for the Homeless_ which tries to make a difference in many communities across the country. Check them out on the web. You can volunteer at different sites or just bring by a bag of dog food. Deeks says thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Venus Rising**

**by Phillydi**

**Chapter Two**

* * *

_That has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever done. Jeez! What was I thinking? Ok, I was angry but I shouldn't have walked away from her. I should have talked to her, right?... God, who are you kidding, Deeks? Every time I even try to tell her what she means to me, she gets those doe-like eyes and her pulse starts to quake from underneath that flawless skin of hers and it's only a matter of time before she takes off running…or belts me in the arm. Whatever comes first. Yeah, talking is not exactly Kensi's strong point. I know she needs me but she will never say it. She cares for me but she will never show it. And so it all adds up to one big fat zero! And we'll keep playing this game until one of us cries uncle…and I can guarantee you, it won't be Kensi. It's time to face the facts and move on, Deeks, ol'boy. I don't know what you're being so chipper about? But one of us has to play the grown up here and I guess that one is me. Great. Just great. _

Kensi drove to the Mission after her encounter with Deeks but not before stopping off at the 7-Eleven on West Pico. She bought two Twix bars, a Snickers and a chocolate covered donut with sprinkles. So much for New Year resolutions. She had a serious hormone imbalance going on and it had nothing to do with her time of the month. Ripping the wrapper off the Snickers bar, Kensi assessed the situation as she drove through the streets of Los Angeles. She knew Deeks well enough that he wouldn't stay mad forever and they would eventually be able to work in harmony again. But she wasn't sure if she could deal with the look of disappointment in his eyes every day. Even if he tried to hide it, she knew it would still be there behind the façade.

On many a sleepless night she wondered if they make a good team because they were professionals and at the top of their game….or perhaps it was something more magical than that. Perhaps it was the chemistry and the unspoken feelings they have for each other? Whatever the reason, there was a special spark between them that she couldn't let die….she just couldn't act on it. There was always that river of sexual energy running between that she could never seem to cross. One thing was for certain. They would have to find a way to work together and respect each other's needs without allowing them to get in the way of their job. File that in the '_easier said than done'_ drawer.

The Mission was pulsing with energy for a Friday morning and Kensi had to side step a group of tech specialists who were charging their way up the stairs to Ops. Callen had arrived early and was just finishing his second cup of coffee. He had been hard at work on a stack of past due reports that had been sitting in his in-box when Kensi entered the bullpen. She threw her backpack on her desk and a whoosh of air from under the bag sent a multitude of knickknacks and trinkets flying off her side of the table and scattering in every direction.

"Shit," Kensi cursed and dropped quickly to her knees to rescue the fallen treasures.

Callen peered over his desk and watched Kensi with amusement as she crawled after the lighter objects that were rolling and bumping in every direction on the brightly tiled Mission floor.

"How many candy bars have you eaten so far today, Kensi?" Callen propped his chin up on his desk with the heel of his hand.

"What…? I swear I haven't….no, really, I haven't!" Kensi insisted. Callen tipped his head to the side and Kensi knew she had been caught. "Ok, maybe I had one….or two….I don't even know how you can tell?"

"I've seen you on a sugar high before and it's never pretty," Callen said sympathetically. "You want to talk about it?

"Who died and made you Nate?" Kensi grumbled and flopped down on her chair.

"Just trying to help," Callen turned back to his computer screen unoffended.

"I'm sorry, Callen," Kensi moaned. "It's just that Deeks is still angry at me for forgetting his birthday. I mean things happen, right?"

Callen nodded as he caught Sam rounding the corner and into the bullpen. "Sam, please tell Kensi what happen the last time I forgot your birthday."

"I didn't speak to him for a week!" Sam pouted and pulled his chair from out of his desk and sat down.

"Yeah, and I never did that again, did I?" Callen reminisced. "Although I have to say it was the most peaceful week of my life."

"Keep it up, partner and you'll be resting in peace on a permanent basis!" Sam threatened.

Kensi smiled glumly and covered her face with both hands. "Yeah, but Deeks is really pissed."

"He'll come around, Kens. He always does," Called assured her.

"Mesdames et Messieurs!"

A booming voice beckoned from the top of the stairs. "Will you please join me and the delightful Mademoiselle Jones in Ops," Eric called out, adjusting the French beret on his head. "We have a new case that requires your attention!" Eric began to turn around but noticed no one below was moving. "Chop, chop! S'il vous plait!" He clapped his hands twice and walked into Ops.

"Is it Bastille Day or something?" Callen wondered out loud.

"You never know with Beale," Sam added as the group made their way up the stairs.

"Speaking of Deeks, where is he now?" Callen turned around to ask Kensi. "I thought he was due back today?" .

"I found him at Venice beach this morning on an undercover job," Kensi said as they entered the dark room. "He had to go home to change. We probably should start without him. He shouldn't be too late."

* * *

Deeks was definitely going to be late. The team was going to have to wait on him today, he grumbled as he let himself into his apartment. Damn, he was in a foul mood. He needed some time to decompress before he could face Kensi again but he would just have to suck it up and deal with it. Instead, Deeks disrobed and allowed himself the luxury of a long hot shower which helped restore some semblance of humanity to his achy body and broken heart. His undercover clothes had served him well in the past but to everything there is a season and it was time to retire the tread bare clothes… preferably in an incinerator. But for now they laid in rest inside the dumpster outside his building. There would be no viewing. On the way home, he dropped Marty off at the K-9 Spa Emporium for a day of pampering and rest. God knows, the little guy deserved it, along with a flea dip.

On the way back to the Mission, Deeks replayed his conversation with Kensi over and over in his mind. He would just apologize and get it over with. Then they can move forward together as partners…but nothing more. It was better that way.

He snuck quietly into the old building and began his climb up to Ops. He was just about to hit the first landing when he was stopped short by a familiar voice calling to him from behind.

"Everything alright, Mr. Deeks?"

Deeks turned slowly to face Hetty standing at the edge of her office with arms folded casually across her chest.

"How was Venice?" she asked with a sly grin on her face.

Deeks looked down to hide a smile as he pushed his hands deep down into his pockets. "You tracked me down, yeah?" Deeks knew the woman threw no punches and decided to come clean. "Of course you did."

"What kind of manager would I be if I didn't know where my agents were at all times?" Hetty grinned.

"At all times? Really?" Did she also know _why_ as well, Deeks wondered.

"Well let's just say I have a good idea most of the time. Go on, Mr. Deeks…go! The team is waiting for you," she motioned for him to continue. "Oh, and Mr. Deeks….Shoeless Harry says to say hello."

Deeks stopped short and realized he had been made by one of his homeless friends on the beach. He laughed out loud and rushed up the stairs two at a time. Hetty smiled as she watched Deeks join his NCIS family. She had to admit she had a soft spot in her heart for their LAPD liaison. No longer an outsider, the team had come to accept him as one of their own and because of that bond she always knew when he was troubled. Hetty sighed and shook her head. Affairs of the heart were never easy.

"Well look who it is," Sam said as he spied the tardy detective enter the room. "Been slumming again, Deeks?"

Deeks turned to Kensi with an angry and accusatory look on his face.

"I swear I didn't say a thing!" Kensi exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.

That got Sam and Callen's attention, who watched the interaction like two spectators at a tennis match feeling the tension in the room growing with each passing second.

"I just took some personal time, that's all." Deeks answered dismissively. "Why don't you continue and I'll catch up?" Deeks turned to Eric and Nell.

"Of course, mon ami!" Eric chirped brightly but stopped when he saw the blank faces starring back at him from around the table.

"I'm taking a refresher course in French and…."

"….and you're driving everyone crazy!" Nell mumbled behind his back.

"Je vous admire, Eric" Callen smiled back at the Ops Tech. "But I think you better concentrate on your English if we're ever going to finish this briefing before sundown?"

"Nice hat, though," Sam chimed in.

Eric nodded in appreciation and quickly punched in a few keys on his hand held device. An official Navy photo and personnel file immediately popped up on the overhead Ops screen prompting Eric to step closer to the picture.

"This is Lt. Luis Nunez," Eric continued and slid the next page of his file on screen. "He was a member of Seal Team 3 out of San Diego. Last year, he was on a Chinook helicopter that was shot down by Taliban militants while en route to capture a senior Taliban leader in a remote location in Afghanistan. Ten Navy Seals were killed from his unit. All of the bodies were accounted for except Nunez. He was tagged as missing in action and presumed to be held as a POW, although there has been no official notification from the Taliban.

Nell Jones joined her colleague next to the screen. "A month later Seal Team 3 had to call off a highly top-secret operation to capture a well-known al-Queda stronghold at the last minute when US intelligence picked up details of the planned raid from internet chatter." Nell looked down at her notepad. "Nunez was scheduled to be on that raid and had special knowledge of the mission. In fact he even planned a good deal of it."

"So the Navy thinks Nunez may be behind the leak?" Sam asked. "Do they have any idea where he is now?" Sam asked.

"Maybe…but he's not where you may think," Nell continued. "A few months after he went missing his wife started receiving strange phone calls...you know, the kind where you pick up the phone and no one's there. At first she thought it was just crank calls. That kept happening until finally someone said her name and hung up. She swore it was Nunez."

Nell stopped to catch her breath. "Then last night she called his commanding officer hysterical because she swore she saw him standing in the woods across from her home," Nell looked around the team. "When she went outside, he was gone."

"Something's wrong," Sam wasn't buying it. 'No Navy Seal would disgrace his unit and desert to enemy sides unless he was being coerced."

"That's why I have gotten permission from Assistant Director Granger to bring in a new Psych Ops in time for this mission." Hetty had slipped quietly into the room. "Our new agent will be here tomorrow morning and take their place as part of this team to fill Nate's shoes until he returns from his overseas assignment. The first order of business will be to do a profile of our wayward Navy Lieutenant in order to give us some leads on his next move."

Although the team was used to Hetty's unorthodox running of the Mission, this new revelation caught them all off guard. As the news slowly sunk in, Callen finally broke the silence.

"Ok, so while we're waiting for reinforcements, we have to find out why he is back on American soil and working covertly. There's got to be a reason," Callen said without hesitance. "Eric and Nell, can you see if there are any important events taking place that may be drawing the Lieutenant and possibly a terrorist cell group here to the area?"

"We'll get on it," Eric said and nodded to Nell.

"Mr. Callen, I want you and Mr. Hanna to visit his commanding officer at Coranado and find out if he has any more information on Lt. Nunez that might be helpful. Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye will talk to his wife." Hetty turned to face Deeks and Kensi. "I would also like for you two to plan a stakeout tonight in or around her house to see if the Lieutenant decides to return again. Maybe we can catch him the next time he decides to pay her a visit."

"I'm downloading the address for the Nunez home as we speak," Nell said.

"Good luck, everyone." Hetty called out.

Callen and Sam jogged down the stairs. "What do you think about this new Psych Ops that Hetty is bringing in? Sam asked.

"I really don't care, the more the merrier," Callen said flippantly. "As long as they don't play around with my head, we'll get along just fine."

"It's not your head I'm worried about. It's this new guy I feel sorry for," Sam mused as he walked past Callen to their car.

"What?" Callen demanded as he raced after Sam. "When have I ever not been nice to Nate?" Callen's voice trailed down the hallway, never receiving an answer back from his partner.

Kensi and Deeks followed close behind but Deeks stopped short in the middle of the Mission floor.

"Kensi?" Deeks called out to his partner. "Listen, I just want to apologize for this morning. It won't happen again." Deeks looked at Kensi….sorry for his behavior but still grieving the love affair that never had a chance.

Kensi slowly turned around to face Deeks. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry Deeks, you had a right to be hurt," she lamented. "Even Sam got pissed off at Callen for forgetting his birthday once. I should have remembered."

"Yeah, well, no problem," Deeks said as he pulled out his keys while continuing to stare at the floor. "Water under the bridge. Come on, I'll drive." He turned to leave without giving her a second look.

Kensi pulled at Deeks' sleeve, stopping him as he walked by her. "Deeks? You and I? Are we ok here?" Kensi asked hesitantly. Despite saying all the right words, Kensi had the feeling Deeks was really just giving her lip service.

"Yep, never better," Deeks boasted, barely looking at her as he headed out the door.

* * *

_Now I know you're lying. You're not even looking at me because you don't want me to see into your eyes. You know if I do, I will see the hurt deep down in your soul, and you can't stand that. You're scarring me, Deeks. I don't know what I'll do if you stop loving me. The worst part is I don't even deserve it. You know I'm a coward when it comes to love. Just don't give up on me, Deeks! Please!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Venus Rising**

**by Phillydi**

**Chapter Three**

_Ok, that went well…now she __**knows**__ I'm a lying bastard. Be cool, man! Act naturally. You got to give her back the old Deeks she knows and loves to abuse. Ok, so maybe we can't be anything more than friends or partners, but somehow we need to co-exist in the same universe together. I know I'm a glutton for punishment, but just being with her is better than nothing. And I make a difference here with these people who are my family now. More importantly, I know how lucky I am to have so much… unfortunately I just can't have it all._

* * *

There was a chill in the night air as Callen and Sam returned from Coronado after the long drive back home. Sam dropped his partner off at the Mission doors anxious to return to Michelle who had promised her man a quiet night at home alone without the kids. Callen on the other hand had returned with a lot of pent up energy and tried to persuade Sam to join him for a pick-up game in the gym. But Sam had no intention of changing his mind tonight and Callen waved him off with a sigh.

Muted shades of moonlight flickered off the Mission walls as he entered the old Spanish- style building. Called walked up the hall and was greeted by a warm glow emanating from Hetty's corner office and knew his boss was working overtime, as usual. A tea pot was whistling furiously in the background and he was strangely comforted by the familiar sound.

"You're just in time, Mr. Callen," Hetty called out to the bullpen. "Will you join me in a cup of Lung Ching tea?" Callen threw his keys and badge down on his desk and sauntered slowly into her office. Always immaculate, Callen marveled at how neat Hetty kept her office. There was never a pen or paper out of place.

"No thanks, Hetty. I think I'll pass," he yawned and casually flopped into the wicker chair across from her desk. Hetty walked across the room, stirring the warm cup of tea with care. She smiled wearily at her agent.

"So…did Lieutenant Nunez' commanding officer have anything useful to share with us?" she asked as she sipped the strong brew and sat down at her desk.

"Not really," Callen said as he told Hetty about their day at Seal Team 3. "He doesn't believe Nunez had anything to do with sabotaging their last mission. Although he admits that the Lieutenant is a very viable suspect, especially since nobody knew the operation details as well as he did."

"Hmm," Hetty murmured placing her cup gently back on the plate and looking off into the distance. "He's been gone for a long time…do you suspect he could have developed feelings for his captors?"

"You think this a case of Stockholm syndrome?" Called asked Hetty directly. Callen was referring to the strange phenomenon where the hostage expresses empathy for their captors, even believing in their principles and ethicsso they can't be seen as a threat any longer.

"Perhaps," she said. "Stranger things have happen."

"I don't know," Callen hedged. "The CO was adamant that Nunez was an impeccable sailor and a first class Seal. He never heard him express any known sympathies with anti-American factions in the Middle East," Callen said. "Besides, it would be rare for a Navy Seal, with all their training to fall a victim of that kind of physiological bonding."

"Well, we have no idea what the man has been through, Mr. Callen, but if he's back here and in hiding…it's not for a good reason, you can be sure of that."

"Agreed. Did Nell and Eric come up with any new leads?" Callen asked.

"Do you remember the case of Anthony Watkins who was captured as an enemy combatant two years ago during a skirmish to release a group of British missionaries?"

"Yeah, he was the California kid who converted to Islam and went to Afghanistan to aid in the fighting." Callen shivered when he remembered the anti-American rantings that Watkins had screamed during his court hearings. "He got twenty years in prison for killing a CIA agent during that conflict. I believe he's still in Victorville penitentiary, isn't he?"

"Yes, but tensions have increased in the local Muslim community again. They are demanding his release and he's up for a parole hearing soon," Hetty said.

"You think this has something to do with Nunez' return?" Callen asked.

"Watkins' capture in Afghanistan was in the same vicinity where Nunez' helicopter went down," Hetty said. "A coincidence…. perhaps. I doubt it though."

"Well, it's as good a lead as any. We'll work on it tomorrow." Callen rested his elbows on the chair and raised his hands together in a tent. The expression on his face turned to concern as he pursed his lips to speak. "Speaking of tension is it me or is Kensi and Deeks getting a bit testy with each other lately?

"Ah, Mr. Callen," Hetty took in a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling. "Oscar Wilde once said…_it is always a silly thing to give advice but to give good advice is absolutely fatal_," Hetty smiled at her agent and raised her index finger. "I don't always agree with that statement, but I think in this instance Mr. Wilde could be correct, especially on matters of love." Callen interest was now piqued and he sat straight up in his chair.

Hetty paused to gather her thoughts. "Do you remember when they went undercover as husband and wife on that case out in the suburbs? I tried to advise them then about the perils of getting romantically involved during that mission. I'm afraid it was too little, too late."

"Wait….they're romantically involved?" Callen sputtered. "As in love?"

"Is there another way?" Hetty chuckled softly. "But the answer to your question is….no, they are not involved and that's the problem, at least for one of them. Even though there is an overwhelming attraction between the two, the stress of working together and living with that attraction is taking its toll. But I'm hopeful they can work it out in an affable matter."

"Yeah, well… been there and done that. I don't envy them," Callen reminisced. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," Callen sighed and let out a long breath of air. "The signs were all there if you looked close enough."

"Yes, there is nothing rational about the longings of the human heart. It will do as it pleases, I'm afraid." Callen nodded remembering his own romantic involvements on the job. "Go home, Mr. Callen, and get some rest," Hetty advised. "We have a big day ahead of us if we are to get our new Psych Ops up to speed."

"Hopefully that's not some more of your fatal advice?" Callen smiled as he rose from the chair. "What about you? Shouldn't you be calling it a night too?"

"I'm waiting for Kensi and Deeks to check in and then I'll be headed home as well," Hetty said. "Have a good night, Mr Callen. Sleep well."

* * *

"Checkmate!"

"Whoa! Are you kidding me?" Deeks cried. "You can't move your knight that way!"

"Yes, I can!"

"You're just angry because he took three games in a row from you," Kensi said glancing out the window again. It was the third time in the last five minutes she meticulously scanned the area outside the home for any movement.

"But he was cheating!" Deeks exclaimed in disbelief. Kensi shook her head wondering which one was the real kid, as she watched Deeks fold his arms over his chest in protest.

The 10 year old boy sitting across from Deeks smiled cunningly at his opponent. "Wanna go again?" he asked. "Winner takes all!"

"You're a real shyster aren't you?" Deeks looked at the boy closing one eye suspiciously.

"Being a lawyer, you should know," Kensi smiled coquettishly.

"Not funny, Fern," Deeks snarled back at his partner and began again to set the game pieces back on the board for a rematch. He stopped as a pretty woman in jeans and a t-shirt entered the living room. "Come on Carter, it's time for bed."

"Ah, mom!"

"To bed, young man!" Mrs. Nunez responded back to her eldest child with more authority this time. "I don't want to tell you again!"

"You heard your Mom," Deeks ordered. "But I see a rematch in your future." Deeks pointed at Carter. "And this time there will be no cheating, Mister!"

"You're on!" Carter replied and ran out of the room, happily whooping his way down the hall.

"I'm sorry, detective. He takes after his dad, I'm afraid," she reflected sadly. "Losing is not an option in their book."

"I wish you had told me that before he whipped my ass," Deeks mused. "I own him fifteen bucks!"

Kensi and Deeks had spent the better part of the day speaking with Darlene Nunez in regards to her missing husband. They questioned her about his family and friends, his hobbies, habits and his past. Later they took a thorough survey of the property for any evidence that was left behind the night before and took turns keeping vigil after dinner, hoping Luis might return once again to visit his family.

"Are you sure, Mrs. Nunez that you saw your husband last night?" Kensi asked again. "It could have been a shadow or some drifter walking by?"

"That was either Luis or his ghost," she insisted. "I know my husband…I know how he stands, the way he moves….Of course it could have been a figment of my imagination. Believe me, I stood at those windows where you are standing, many a night, praying that I would see him coming up that walk again," Darlene smiled wistfully looking past the two agents. "But shadows don't leave footprints. You saw them yourself!"

Kensi shook her head in agreement but there were no other clues to go on except the footprints, which coincidentally matched Nunez' shoe size. "We're going to go lights out for now and Detective Deeks and I will keep vigil. We'll try not to make any noise, but we will call you, if we need anything."

"Ok, good night then," Darlene nodded wearily, her voice reflecting the pain of loneliness and grief for her missing spouse. "Help yourself to the pot of coffee I left warming in the kitchen." She turned to walk away but stopped. "And thank you…both of you."

"Goodnight, ma'am," Deeks responded and turned back to Kensi. Their eyes met and they didn't need to share their thoughts. They both could tell what the other was thinking. They both knew how hard it was to lose a loved one. There was a lot of noise going on inside their heads but the silence around them was deafening. After sitting with their thoughts for what seemed to be an eternity, Kensi broke the silence.

"Deeks, do you trust me?"

"Why would you ask me something like that?" Deeks replied totally off guard.

"Because it matters." Kensi whispered.

"Trust always matters when it comes to us, Kensi," Deeks spoke softly. He stood up and walked away from Kensi because he knew if he tried to span the distance between them, the conversation would stop. He had been waiting so long for Kensi to gather the courage to speak from her heart; he didn't want to jeopardize the moment.

"Kensi, I will always trust you because that comes from experience and respect. And respect… that comes from love. Nothing can change that. I only wish you can feel how important you are to me," Deeks felt as if his heart would burst from out of his chest. The pain was sometimes unbearable.

"I know how you feel, Deeks…I've always known." Kensi slowly slid onto the window sill, leaning her head up against the frame. She took a quick look out over the front lawn before she turned back to face Deeks. Her eyes fell to the floor as she tried to find the words he needed but may not want to hear.

"You know how close I was with my dad, right? But do you know what I miss the most since he's been gone?" Kensi asked. Deeks shook his head but didn't speak. "It was the look in his eyes every time I entered a room." Kensi became animated and opened her arms to tell her story. "His eyes would light up, you know, and he would get this huge smile on his face and that's how I knew I was loved." Kensi smiled thinking of the time she spent with her dad.

Kensi looked up into her partner's eyes this time. "Deeks, I know how you feel about me because you do the same thing. Your eyes greet me just like his did….with so much love and joy. But every time you do that I get so scared because he's gone now and I can't pick up the pieces again if I were to lose you too. It was just too hard."

Deeks began to speak and Kensi held up her hand. "Wait. You got to let me continue before I lose my nerve." Kensi paused again before speaking. "I need you to trust me Deeks, I would never want to hurt you and I also need for you to respect my feelings until I can figure out how to let someone love me like that again. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Of course, but can't we figure this out together?" Deeks asked.

"I don't …." Kensi stopped in mid-sentence.

Outside a light flashed in the bushes which simultaneously caught the attention of Deeks and Kensi. The agents pulled out their weapons together in one fluid movement plastering their bodies up against either side of the window. They could see the light moving closer to the house. Kensi motioned to Deeks she was heading towards the back door to circle around to the front of the house. Deeks nodded and moved to the front door to wait. In a few seconds he could see the dark shadow approaching the house.

"Federal agents! Get your hands up where I can see them!" Deeks could hear Kensi yell as she came up from behind. Deeks raced out the front door just in time to see the intruder lunge for Kensi, throwing her off guard as they came crashing to the ground together next to the stone garden. The prowler quickly looked up and saw Deeks racing to the scene and took off running back into the woods. Deeks pursued him for a couple hundred yards and then gave up when he realized he would never find him in the dense forest growth. He raced back to Kensi who rolled over on her stomach and let out a moan. She was about to reach for the back of her throbbing head to assess the damage when Deeks grabbed her hand away.

"Don't touch," he said taking a more through look at the wound. "You got a nice cut back there but I think you're going live. Lucky for you, you got a hard head. A few stitches and you will be good as new.

"Just great!" Kensi grabbed on to Deeks' upper arm as he helped lift her off the ground. "Damn, I can't believe Nunez got away!"

"We don't even know if that was him. I couldn't see his face with that hat pulled down over his eyes." Deeks stopped short and smiled down at Kensi with a silly grin on his face.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Kensi grumbled.

"What, me? Never," Deels smiled to himself as he wrapped his arm tighter around her waist, helping to steady his partner. "Let's call in some back up and I'll take you to the hospital. We're going to have a lot of explaining to do for Hetty tomorrow after we get into work."

* * *

The early morning air was chilly for Los Angeles and she shivered as she got out of her car and walked into the Mission. It was her first day on the new job. She arrived early to work because Hetty Lange wanted her there before the rest of the team arrived. It felt strange to be back in law enforcement again. She hadn't carried a badge in three years which was on the day she left the LAPD to continue her studies at Berkley. Hetty Lange recruited her even before her diploma had dried. The tiny woman met her on campus six months previously and talked her into accepting the vacant operational psychologist position she had in the Los Angeles department of NCIS. No interview, just a contract, a hand shake and a smile. Lange was very persuasive but she had a feeling she was going to enjoy working with the unusual team leader and her staff. The next thing she knew she was driving along on Rt. 1 towards Los Angeles, barreling down the Pacific coast highway in her overloaded Mini Cooper. With a doctorate of psychology in one hand and her orders straight out of NCIS boot camp in the other, she arrived at her new job a full fledge psych ops and special NCIS agent. She knew she was going to have to prove herself but she trusted her training.

She had been a damn good cop in her old life and the finest profiler in the Department but a tragic incident had forced her to leave the LAPD in search of redemption. She didn't expect forgiveness from the man she had wronged or the man she had deeply loved. She left them both behind when she quit the LAPD, one to death and the other to remorse. She would never forgive herself…all she could do now was to put the past behind, and move forward to another world where her memories wouldn't find her. NCIS Special Agent Macaela McGlone took a deep breath and then took two steps through the Mission's doors and into a new chapter of her life. She prayed this job would be her salvation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Venus Rising**

**by phillydi**

**Chapter Four**

_Look at her! Sleeping like a baby in my front seat. Twenty stitches and a bump on the head that would take down Genghis Khan and she's ready to go right back to work. Luckily there was no concussion but I had to plead with her so I could take her home to get a couple hours of sleep before we headed back to the Mission. That's my bad-ass Blye. Wait…strike '__**my'**__ from that sentence. I was pretty much told last night to let her have her space and go about my business like my feelings don't exist. Yeah, good luck with that, Deeks. If that's what she wants then I will have to try and honor that promise….but no one says I got to like it._

* * *

Dr. Macaela McGlone dropped her satchel on the floor and looked around the small room. It was one of the few offices in the Mission's open space décor that had a door. Apparently being Psych Ops had its privileges. Mac pushed her long red curls away from her face and looked around at her new home. She let out a long sigh. She hated being the new kid on the block but that would eventually change once she earned their trust and respect. It was the starting over she despised.

A partially deflated basketball rested next to a small computer table. The walls were empty except for an erasable marker board and an old USC varsity banner held up by thumb tacks. It seems her predecessor liked his B-ball as she kicked the neglected object to the far corner of the room. Hetty had already warned her that Nate Getz was going to be a tough act to follow He was a well-loved and respected member of the team, which was going to make stepping into his shoes a lot harder than she had hoped. Nate's desk was littered with old coffee cups and paper clips which she picked up reverently and placed gently in the trash can beside the table. The bookcase behind her no longer held books but a coating of dust. It was obvious the office had been empty for a while and could use a good cleaning.

Mac rested her purse on the desk and pulled out the one item she always unpacked first when she moved into a new place. She placed the old silver frame on the right hand corner of her desk and smiled down at the man in uniform.

"Hiya, Dad. I'm back in the game," she whispered and hoped her dad's strength and courage would carry her through the rigors of her first day on the new job.

Lieutenant Patrick McGlone was one of Boston's finest. He served over 40 years on the police force except for his time spent as a special liaison to Scotland Yard in London. He came to the large metropolis to share department procedures and lessons learned with his British counterparts. Within the first year he met the captain's beautiful daughter, Rose at the Policeman's Ball and within four months they were married. Mac came along nine months later to the delight of her ecstatic parents. Her grandfather continued to find creative ways to keep extending her father's liaison duties and as a result Mac spent the first fifteen years of her life growing up in London. Her father was finally called back to Boston permanently where he went on to retire after spending a noteworthy career in law enforcement. As she grew up, Mac knew she would follow in her dad's footsteps so it was no surprised to her parents when she announced she was going into the police academy after college. What was a surprise was that the academy she chose to attend was located in Los Angeles. She decided she had enough of the long, cold winters in Boston and wanted to settle down in the warmth of Southern California. The minute she arrived, Mac knew she was home.

She had risen through the ranks of the LAPD first as a beat cop and then later as a profiler and detective. She found her real gift was the sixth sense she brought to a crime scene, a natural gut feeling that helped solve a murder case and bring the killer to justice. She enjoyed her work as a profiler but when she abruptly quit her job three years ago to finish her doctorate in phycology at Berkley, her parents were alarmed. They knew how much she loved being a cop in LA and it seemed strange to them and her friends that she departed without a word or explanation. The feelings were still raw every time Mac remembered that heartbreaking and fateful night. She still couldn't bring herself to speak about it or forgive herself in the role that she played. But that's what new beginnings were for, right? Fate had given her a second chance and she was determined not to screw it up again.

Mac was jolted out of her past memories by the sound of someone standing in front of her and clearing their throat. She quickly looked up to see Hetty Lange with a younger woman standing two steps silently behind her.

"Welcome to NCIS, Dr. McGlone!" Hetty said brightly. "I'm glad to see you made it to your office without incident." Hetty looked around at the furnishings and turned back to the woman behind her holding a tablet and stylus.

"Nell, can you ask maintenance to take the rest of Nate's items and put them away in storage and have the office cleaned up tonight?" Hetty looked at Mac with a hint of remorse. "I'm sorry, we hadn't had a chance to ready your work space but it will be cleaned out by tomorrow."

"No problem, it gave me a little insight into my predecessor," Mac acquiesced and picked up the old basketball and lobbed it over to Nell.

"This is Nell Jones, our Operations Analyst," Hetty said turning to Nell as the younger woman expertly balanced the ball and her tablet in one fluid move. "You will be working together, along with Mr. Beale in Ops. I have asked Ms. Jones to show you around the Mission right now. By the time you two are finished, the rest of the team should be here," Hetty continued. "I also have some time set aside later this morning for us to talk. But first, I'm afraid I'll need for you to hit the ground running. We have a very serious case and we might be dealing with a Stockholm Syndrome victim."

"I've had some exposure regarding that behavior early in my career with a young, kidnapped girl. The victim need an extended period of psychiatric care afterwards. It's a very debilitative condition."

"Right now it's all conjecture, but it's our only explanation for our Navy Lieutenant's strange disappearance and behavior. But we will get to all that during our debriefing this morning in Ops."

"Looking forward to it," Mac smiled.

"Good! Ms. Jones, I will leave you to it," Hetty nodded to Nell and left Mac's office.

Mac and Nell smiled awkwardly at each other.

"This is a beautiful building inside; you would never know it from the outside, huh?" Mac filled in the uncomfortable silence.

"All part of the undercover façade and in keeping with our mission," Nell explained. "But it has a lot of fun nooks and crannies that I'll let you discover. For now, we'll hit all of the highlights of the tour, so you have a good idea where the essential areas are."

"Well, just don't leave out the kitchen and bathrooms!"

"Sure, we can make those our areas of priority on our tour! Follow me," Nell nodded her head, turned briskly and walked out the door, leaving Mac to follow.

* * *

The sun was shining brightly on the Mission walls as Callen caught up with Sam in the hallway .

"You look like crap," Sam looked over at Callen with concern. "When did you get out of here last night?"

"Early enough…but I got a call that an intruder showed up at Lieutenant Nunez' house last night," he said. "Kensi was hurt and I was called in as back up, so Deeks could take her to the hospital."

"Is she ok?" Sam asked. "You should have called me."

"She's fine, just a couple of stitches," Callen waived his hand. "Her ego took the bigger hit according to Deeks," Callen looked over as they walked by Hetty's office. "I was relieved around six this morning and barely had time to take a shower and get here for our meeting with the new Psych Ops."

"Speaking of which…." Sam titled his head over at Hetty's work space. They both stopped at the entrance to the bullpen.

"At the risk of sounding sexist…that is one beautiful lady." Sam raised his eyebrows and let out a low whistle.

"Down tiger, or I'll tell Michelle what you said," Callen warned.

"Partner, I may be married, but I am not dead. Besides, I'd suggest you should look away too before _your_ eye balls fall out your head," Sam joked. "Not becoming at all."

"Just a little professional curiosity going on, that's all," Callen turned quickly away and bumped right into the scrolled iron walls that partitioned off their work space.

"Ah, huh. Well, curiosity killed the cat, my friend," Sam laughed. "And I can tell this is going to get real interesting, real fast." Sam turned to drop his backpack on his desk. Embarrassed, Callen found his way to his desk while giving his partner a warning look to drop the teasing.

"I'm fine, Deeks. Stop fussing!" Kensi slapped Deeks hands away from the back of her head where a small bandage was strategically placed. Sam and Callen could hear the two arguing from all the way down the hall as they approached the bullpen. Deeks was clearly exasperated and rolled his eyes. Kensi's partner had been pleading his case all night but the patient had stopped listening a long time ago.

"I'm just saying, you probably should have stayed home today and gotten some rest," Deeks implored as they reached their desks. "Let the meds work, you know?"

"I've been through worse, Deeks," Kensi moaned. "Besides, I want to get that SOB. I can't believe he took me down like that."

"Oh, that's right….I forgot. You're Wonder Woman. Well, even Wonder Woman has her off days, you know!"

"Thanks, I'll remember that, Dr. Deeks," Kensi eyed Deeks with an irritated smirk on her face and dragged her chair away from the desk and slammed it down again.

"If you're going to be that way, this discussion is over," Deeks said with more than a bit of exasperation in his voice as he moved to his own desk.

"Fine!"

"Fine!" Deeks got the last word in but walked away in frustration to find a much stronger cup of coffee. He was going to need it.

Sam looked over at Callen but he warned Sam with a slight shake of his head to back off and let the junior partners handle it by themselves. Sam opened his mouth for a brief second and decided to take Callen up on his advice. An uncomfortable silence penetrated the air.

Callen knew the argument had nothing to do with an over-protective Deeks. After Hetty's revelation last night, he knew it was more serious than that. Deeks was clearly besotted and most likely in love with his partner. He watched the detective on many occasions following Kensi around the Mission with his eyes. He always had that silly grin on his face whenever he looked at Kensi. Callen certainly remembered how that felt. No other feeling like it in the world…pain and ecstasy. It was a heady feeling. It's happen a few times to Callen but he was never able to sustain it for long. Something always happen and the relationship was over before it started. Sam always lectured him about finding the right girl and settling down. It just never came easy for Callen. It looks like it didn't come very easily for Deeks either. He almost felt sorry for the guy. Looks like the new Psych Ops was going to have her work cut out for her.

"When's the new Psych Ops getting here….shouldn't he be here by now?" Kensi asked hoping to change the subject.

"Actually _she_ is here, Ms. Blye," Hetty's voice carried through the bullpen. "May I introduce you all to Dr. Macaela McGlone. These are agents Kensi Blye, Sam Hanna and G. Callen," Hetty gestured to each one separately but stopped for a second when she came to Deeks' empty desk. "It seems like we're missing the latest member of our team. You may know him," she turned to Mac. "He's our liaison from the LAPD. Where is Mr. Deeks?"

"Right here!" Deeks called out and walked from behind the column with his coffee. The hot cup quickly slipped from between his fingers and crashed to the floor with a splash. Deeks instantly recognized the woman standing next to Hetty and the color drained out of his cheeks and his muscles turned to mush as he continued to stare at a face from his past. He never expected to see her again, and there she was standing in front of him as if all time had stopped.

"Do you two know each other?" Hetty looked over at her new Psych Ops and could see that Mac was equally dazed and dumbfounded. Mac and Deeks starred at each other as if they were the only people in the room. Everything else was a blur around them. The silence was broken as a phone rang in the distance. Mac was the first to compose herself at least enough to be able to answer Hetty's question.

"Ah, yes we do. Hello Marty," Mac said with a shaky voice. "It's been a long time."

"Mac," Deeks acknowledged her greeting with a nod but he wasn't prepared to say much more. He didn't know if his head or his heart was going to explode. But whatever came first, it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Well, you two can catch up later," Hetty said still cautiously watching the expressions on both Deeks' and Mac's faces. "It's time for us to gather in Ops to get the latest on our Lieutenant's disappearance. Doctor, follow me," Hetty addressed her new Psych Ops. Mac hesitated slightly and then trailed behind Hetty reluctantly. She turned back to look at Deeks one final time.

"Did you two work together at the department, Deeks?" Kensi asked. She had watched the entire scene with more than a little bit of trepidation. She had never seen Deeks so lost for words. He stood there as if someone had cut his tongue out.

"It's a long story," Deeks finally responded in a monotone voice. He was still in shock as his eyes followed Mac and Hetty walking up the stairs to Ops. He reached down slowly to pick up his now empty coffee cup.

"She's pretty young to have gotten so far in her career," Sam said. "Do you think she is she going to cut it here?" Sam looked over at Deeks.

"Don't let her beauty or age fool you," Deeks said without feeling. "She comes from a long lineage of cops, on both sides of the Atlantic; the accent is British since she spent the first half of her life living in London; she speaks flawless French from summers spent on the coast of Nice with her grandmother, and she was the best profiler the LAPD had in the past twenty-five years. Their lost is our gain." Deeks stood there with a detached look on his face but his shaking hands gave away his true emotions.

"Are you alright, Deeks?" Callen asked. "Is there something you're not telling us?"

"Why? What else do you want to know?" he demanded, his eyes blazing with fury. "How about her measurements or her favorite movie? Or perhaps you want to know what she's like in bed? Is that what you want to know?" Deeks spat out in anger.

"You're out of line, Detective," Callen admonished his colleague firmly. "Why don't you go get another cup of coffee and join us in Ops."

Deeks crushed the styrofoam cup in one hand the threw it into the wastebasket.

"I'm good," he glared at Callen, daring him to challenge his next move and walked silently out of the bullpen without another word.

"Like I said, this is going to get real interesting," Sam said sarcastically.

Kensi ignored Sam and rushed to catch up with Deeks before he reached the steps. She touched his arm tentatively.

"Deeks, is there something I should know here?" she asked nervously.

"I don't know…._should you_?" Deeks looked back at his partner in annoyance and continued to walk up the stairs.

* * *

_I couldn't believe my ears. I was stunned as I watched him charge up the stairs alone. I've never seen him so angry and hurt. It was a Deeks I never knew existed and it frightened me. Deeks could be naively insensitive at times but never rude and offensive. What's going on? Who was Macaela McGlone and how is her past history entwined with Deeks? I have a feeling I'm not going to like the answer._


	5. Chapter 5

**Venus Rising**

**by phillydi**

**Chapter Five**

* * *

_Sweet Jesus, Macaela! What the hell are you doing here? I never thought I would see you again! Yet, there she was…standing in front of me looking exactly like she did on that fateful night. And in a split second all of our love came pouring back, rushing over me like a tsunami but so did the anger and despair. She walked back into my life today the same way she walked out... like a lightning bolt…fast and furious! In the end, she left without a word, as if we never existed. How could she leave me alone to pick up the pieces by myself? _

_I thought my life was over that night. My partner and friend was dead and it was the last time I would see Mac again. To say I was inconsolable would be an understatement. It wasn't until I met Kensi that I could feel the lightness slowly brighten my heart. I never thought I could fall in love again after Mac but Kensi proved me wrong. I kept hoping that Kensi would love me in return and fill the hole in my heart that Mac left behind. But she could never absolve me of my guilt….only Mac could do that. The return of Macaela McGlone has me spinning out of control and I know my life will never be the same again because it feels exactly the way it did the first time I saw her….._

* * *

**Four Years Ago**

"I tell you Deeks, it's love! I am head over heels in l-o-v-e with this woman!"

"Yeah, I know how to spell, partner," Deeks said as he turned his car towards Malibu. "And how many times have I heard that line before?" He snorted in disbelief.

"I swear this time it's for real, Marty baby! She's the one for me! I swear to you!"

Deeks shook his head and smiled good-heartedly at his close friend and partner, LAPD Detective Jed Cooper. They had only been together working homicide for over a year now but they shared a similar upbringing, with absentee fathers, life on the streets, and a strong desire to make something good out of a meager existence. It was this parallel that helped the two detectives forge a bond that made them such a tight team. More importantly they considered themselves brothers.

Today Coop had talked Deeks into knocking off early to join him and his new girlfriend at Surfrider Beach in Malibu. You never had to ask Deeks twice to go surfing. The two detectives spent many sunny afternoons floating on top their boards in the warm Pacific surf and talking through some of their toughest cases together. It was a ritual that served them well. Deeks turned into the parking lot and after putting the finishing touches on their wet suits they pulled out their boards from the back of Deeks' old Firebird and began the long trek to the beach. They walked through the dunes towards the water when Coop stopped and grabbed Deeks' arm.

"There she is," he beamed. "She's coming out of the surf now!" Coop waived excitedly to the woman.

Deeks stopped short and watched as a vision of beauty emerging from the sea. She reminded him of a painting by Botticelli… the _Birth of Venus_. If she had been surrounded by angels this woman could be the embodiment of the goddess rising out of the shell, just like in the picture. Her wet suit hugged every curve of her body and her long flowing red curls hung in ringlets around her shoulders and down her back. Golden flecks of amber highlighted her smoky green eyes and her cheeks were tinted red by the cool, crisp water. She was a sight to behold; a masterpiece on canvas. Deeks couldn't take his eyes off her.

"What do you think?" Coop asked. "Isn't she incredible?"

"Like Venus rising," Deeks murmured to himself.

"What?" Coop asked.

"Nothing," Deeks shook himself out of his dreamlike trance.

"Come on…let me introduce you," Coop rushed to greet her first. He picked her up in his arms and twirled her lightly around in the sand. The young woman cried out in glee. "Jed, put me down!" she giggled and gave him a kiss.

"Marty Deeks, let me introduce you to the love of my life, Miss Macaela McGlone." He announced as he returned Macaela's kiss. "Mac, this is my best bud…Marty Deeks."

"Nice to meet you Marty Deeks, call me Mac. I've heard a lot about you from Jed," her voice purred like a fine tuned engine as she reached out to take Deeks' hand.

"Wait! Your Macaela McGlone?….THE Macaela McGlone!?" Deeks turned to Coop and slapped him on the chest. "You've been holding out on me, buddy! You didn't tell me you were dating the legendary LAPD profiler….They call you _Never wrong McGlone! _"

"Don't believe everything you hear, Detective," she blushed.

"Well, I've heard all good things, that's for sure. How'd you two meet?" Deeks asked.

Coop encircled his arm around Mac's waist and puller her closer. "It's a long story Deeks, let's get a few waves in and I'll spill the whole can of beans over a Corona and a burger. You're buying!"

After that day the three became inseparable. Sometimes they would double date but most often they spent lazy days at the beach or in the back yard of Macaela's small bungalow in Studio City. At first, Deeks was happy to see his partner so content and in love. He wondered what it would be like to share his life with a woman like Mac...bright, vibrant, funny and down to earth. She was the real deal. He could tell she had absolutely no idea how beautiful she was. He would study her features constantly and like the Botticelli painting he knew no one could improve on her perfection. He loved the way her laughter would float in the air like a cascade of wind chimes. When she wasn't looking he would study how she warmed her hands around a hot cup of coffee or how she would chew on her lower lip when she was lost in thought. Everything she did delighted him. It wasn't a surprise to Deeks that he had fallen head over heels for his partner's beautiful lady. He was like a teenager in love for the first time but he had to keep his feelings hidden and his heart locked away. Jed and Mac could never know how he felt.

Slowly, he began excusing himself more and more from their company and then all together. It hurt like hell to be around her, especially knowing he could never love her or hold her in his arms. But stealing her away from Coop was not an option. He lived by a code of ethics and his friendship with Coop meant too much to him. No, it was better if he stayed away from a temptation he could never give into. For three months, Deeks was painfully able to keep his distance and his mind off of Mac but life and destiny always had a way of changing on a dime. And Deeks' life was about to change dramatically.

"You know, Mac and I never get to see you anymore, Marty. She's been asking for you," Coop said as they walked into the precinct after a long day on the streets. "We were wondering if you wanted to stop by tonight. We're going to throw a few steaks on the grill, make some of that sangria you like."

"I don't think so, Coop," Deeks backed out gracefully with a little white lie. "I got a date tonight, but thanks anyway."

"You know you are always welcome. If you change your mind…"

"Sure. Thanks, man." Deeks began to turn away as Coop stopped him.

"Listen Marty, I need a favor," Coop pulled a long envelope out of his jacket pocket. "I got Mac these tickets for some sort of ballet thing at the Performing Arts Center for her birthday next week. Something about a gazelle, I think? But you know how I hate this shit. Can you take her for me? Please?"

"You're a Neanderthal. You know that, don't you?" Deeks admonished his friend. "And the ballet's called _Giselle, _by the way."

"See! You even know the correct name! Come on, Deeks, you love this sort of stuff and at least she can talk to you about it." Coop was desperate. "Please, man. For me?"

"I don't know, Coop." Deeks looked away with an agonizing expression on his face. To Coop it seemed like his partner was annoyed but Deeks knew his face was trying to hide the pain of an unbearable temptation. To spend an evening alone with Mac would be nirvana but staying aloof and impartial was an impossibility. Like the ancient Greek Sirens calling out their song to Hercules, he was screwed. It was a suicide mission and Deeks knew it.

"I'll make it up to you, Marty," Coop pleaded one final time. "Name it…anything."

Deeks silently took the tickets and sealed his fate. They could never go back to the way things were between them ever again.

* * *

"You've been so quiet, Marty. I hope it wasn't too horrible coming with me tonight," Mac looked bashfully down at the pavement. She was nervous and couldn't quite bring herself to look directly at Deeks. Actually, they had hardly spoken a comfortable word all evening and now they were standing on her door step smiling awkwardly at each other.

"No, I love the ballet. Really! I do," he laughed with embarrassment, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I know it sounds strange but the _Nutcracker_ was my favorite. My mom use to watch it on TV every Christmas and when she told me the story behind the ballet, I thought it was pretty cool." Deeks shuffled his feet back and forth remembering happier times. "So after that we would watch it together every year. It's one of my favorite memories of my mom."

"That's really sweet. Now this will be one of my favorite memories," Mac smiled. "And you're sweet too, Marty Deeks." She reached out to touch his hand and a bolt of electricity shot through his entire body.

"Well you know me, I'm a sucker for dancing mice and sugar plum fairies." he stammered, backing slowly away from Mac. "Yeah…well… ok. I guess I'd better be going. Coop will be waiting for a recap after he's done work."

"Strange," Mac said as she took a step closer to Deeks. "We watch a ballet where the heroine dies of a broken heart after she gets caught up in a tragic love triangle. Kind of ironic, don't you think?"

Deeks lowered his face to look Mac directly in the eyes. "But at least she saves him from dying in the end so he doesn't winds up lonely and brokenhearted." His breathing had become shallow and he could feel his heart pounding uncontrollably. He froze as she touched his chest.

"We're not talking about the ballet anymore, are we Marty?" Mac asked and then cupped the side of Deeks' face. He reached up to softly cover her hand with his. Deeks was lost in her eyes, paralyzed with the fear that if he walked away right now he would never realize the greatest love of his life.

"Do you want me to tell you I love you?" he cried out in pain. "Because, God forgive me, Macaela I do," Deeks said as he reached out and pulled her close to his chest.

"I love you too, Marty," she whispered in his ear. "And I promise you I will never let you end up lonely and brokenhearted."

"Don't go making promises you can't keep, Mac. We can't do this…. and you know why we can't!" Deeks stopped to catch his breath. He couldn't bring himself to leave her as he looked down into her countenance. "I don't know how I'm going to keep living on without you. It's hell every day you're not in my life." He brushed back her hair from her face and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Then be with me," she murmured. "Coop will understand that we fell in love. I know it will be hard, but we'll tell him together. Please, Marty. I want you with me always. Stay with me tonight?" She turned the knob to her front door and held out her hand.

Deeks knew Coop would never understand and so he hesitated as she held out her hand to him. For one brief second Deeks prayed that he would do the right thing and walk away. But he couldn't. He knew from the beginning if he ever got the chance to be with Macaela, he would take it. He would sell his soul to the devil to be with her if he had to. What chance did their friendship have when such odds were at stake? As he took her hand, nothing else mattered right now except being with Mac. Nothing.

The next day came and went and Deeks and Mac carried on their love affair because they just couldn't tell the truth to the man who loved them both. Deeks had betrayed their friendship and he could barely look Coop in the eyes, let alone tell him that he had fallen in love with Mac. After all the talk of ethics and honor, turns out he was just a fucking coward. He knew as soon as he told him, their friendship would be over and they would probably never work together as partners again. So Deeks waited and they continued to hide their love away behind closed doors. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Deeks and Mac would meet clandestinely, an hour here, a brief moment there. They were both getting good at making up excuses and finding time to hide from Coop. Eventually, the deception started to weigh heavily on Deeks and he couldn't live with his conscience any longer. He was starting to hate himself. Coop deserved better and so did Mac. He had to tell him, and live with the consequences.

"Come back to bed," Mac begged as she watched Deeks walk across the room. His naked body glistened in the moonlight from their fervent love making. The sweat formed on his back like rain drops on a window pane. He felt as if every bit of energy had been drained from his body. He ran his hands through his hair, and looked back at Mac. Heaven help him, but he couldn't get enough of her. He tried to stay away but he just couldn't. She padded out of bed to join him at the window and kissed the beads of sweat off his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his waist and closed her eyes.

"I'm going to tell him tomorrow, Mac," Deeks pledged as he starred out the window and pulled her closer to him. "We can't go on like this any longer."

"I know. We have no other choice. It's time." She agreed. "We'll tell him together."

Deeks' cell phone rang and as he reached to pick it up, he looked down at the screen.

"Shit, it's Coop," Deeks said with concern as hit the answer button. "What's up, buddy?"

"I've been trying to find Mac, but she hasn't come home yet," Coop slurred his words and Deeks knew he had been drinking.

"Where are you, Coop?" Deeks cried out.

"She said she was going out with some friends but I have a feeling she may be with another guy. Why would she do that?" Coop sounded like he was crying now.

"Are you at Mac's place?" Deeks asked again. "Please, just stay where you are, Coop. Don't move! I'm coming to get you!"

"I got to find her Marty, she's all I got. I got to find her." The phone went dead.

"Coop? Coop? Damn it! Deeks rushed to put on his clothes and began dialing Coop's number back.

"Where are you going?" Mac asked with fear in her voice.

"I'm going to go find him." Coop wasn't answering his phone.

"I'm coming with you."

"No…you need to stay here in case he comes looking for me."

"What do I tell him?"

"I don't know…we'll figure out something when I get back. Just keep him here! I love you, baby." Deeks kissed Mac, grabbed his jacket and ran out the door.

Deeks shivered uncontrollably as he pushed the speed limit to get to Mac's house. He was terrified Coop would do something stupid. He prayed that he would find him passed out on the couch asleep instead. As he headed west on Ventura traffic was sparse and he raced through a number of red lights to get to his destination quicker. A few blocks ahead he could see the flashing lights of cop cars and fire trucks as he reached Coldwater Canyon. He pulled over abruptly, exited the car and started running frantically to the scene of the accident.

"You can't go in there," a uniformed cop yelled, as he tried to stop Deeks from pushing through the crowd.

Deeks flashed his badge, ignored the cop and raced to the tangled wreckage. He stopped as soon as he recognized Coop's late model Dodge. It had hit another car head on. It would be a miracle if anyone had survived the ruins. Deeks was paralyzed as he watched the paramedics remove his friend's crushed and broken body from the car and place him gently onto the ground. He finally forced himself to approach the surreal sight and quietly knelt down by Jed's side and took his hand.

"No, Coop," Deeks pleaded. A solitary tear trickled slowly down Deeks' cheek.

Jed Cooper was declared dead at the scene at exactly 11:34 pm.

* * *

_I didn't know it…but I fell in love with Marty Deeks the minute I looked into his clear blue eyes that day on the beach but I was having so much fun with Coop I didn't recognize the signs right away. I know it sounds like a cliché, but my heart would actually skip a beat every time he came into a room. I found myself searching for him everywhere I went. He was intoxicating. I fell in love with his sense of humor first but he also had a serious side that held me spellbound and captivated. Marty may not always know where his life was heading, but he knew where he had been and he was never going back there. I was fascinated by his sad childhood and life on the streets and how he put himself through school to pass the bar only to find a job he loved as a cop. Marty was like a complex and intricately wound Swiss watch. It warmed my heart to watch him play with kids on the beach or cuddle a rambunctious puppy, yet he could talk about the horror of 9-11 with such rage that I could feel his torment and despair deep down to the depths of his soul. Marty was an incredible man….how could I not fall in love with the guy?_

_As time went on, I found myself pulling away emotionally from Coop. I cared for him but that's where it ended. Marty continued to act indifferent toward me and so I hung on to Coop just to be close to his partner. I knew it wasn't right and I needed to make a clean break with Coop but that would mean I had to say goodbye to Marty and I wasn't ready to do that. My whole world changed the night Coop surprised me with tickets to the ballet and Marty agreed to be my escort. Despite our betrayal, we never looked back. Our love was all encompassing and without limits. There was no other choice but to be together and in each other's arms. We vowed to love each other forever._

_Now three and a half years later I hoped that my past was behind me. Today, I know I'll never be able to put Marty Deeks behind me or that fateful night. I know he hates me…I can see it in his eyes. But I have to make him understand, I didn't blame him….never. It was my all fault. That's why I could never face him again. I should have told Coop from the beginning. If I had, he may still be alive._

* * *

_Thanks for the great reviews folks! _


	6. Chapter 6

**_Venus Rising_**

**_by phillydi_**

**_Chapter Six_**

* * *

_Lord it still hurts….even after all these years. I thought I had closed my heart to Mac a long time ago but after seeing her again the doors have been blown wide open and my heart is stripped naked for all to see. If truth be told I never stopped loving the woman. And Coop, buddy... I still miss you every day. The horrible nightmares still rear their ugly head on occasion but now I just live with the overwhelming guilt. I try to remember happier times but the image of his lifeless body on that dark night still haunts me. The year after his death I took every dicey undercover assignment I could find. I didn't care whether I lived or died anymore. I had lost everything I loved and cherished the most in the blink of an eye. I had a death wish and was hoping some ass hole would come along and put me out of my misery so I wouldn't have to live with the pain any longer. As fate would have it, someone above was looking out for me because I lived to see another day. But that was just it….I wasn't living. I was simply going through the motions. Maybe one day I can find closure. Forgiveness? Not bloody likely. _

* * *

Kensi stood frozen on the staircase staring at Deeks as he continued to pound his way up the stairs to the second floor. She felt like her whole world had shifted violently into another dimension. The invisible tether that bound her to Deeks had been irreparable ripped away and she couldn't feel their connection any longer. His vital essence was gone from her being and she was alone. Kensi didn't know why she was so terrified but a cold chill went down her spine in response to the emptiness she was feeling.

Callen touched her on the shoulder gently which startled Kensi. They had all witnessed Deeks' uncharacteristic display of anger but Callen knew Deeks' partner was feeling the aftershocks the most.

"You alright, Kens?" Callen asked. She shook her head in silence but Callen could tell she was still shaken. "Give him some space. He'll come around." Kensi remained quiet as they continued making their way up the steps.

The reserved group filed solemnly into the cool darkness of Ops. The team dynamics were off kilter and Hetty could feel the imbalance in her bones. She looked around at each member and waited for the usual chatter and laughter to begin between her agents but today there was only stillness. Mac was hiding in the darkness talking quietly to Nell while Eric studied and moved images around his tablet. Deeks gazed straight ahead at the blank Ops screen with his arms crossed closely over his chest, his lips pursed tightly together. Kensi had positioned herself at the back of the room and was leaning up against the wall behind the center table, scowling and briefly stealing glances at Mac and Deeks. Sam was having a hard time hiding his anxiety, because the big man hated the condescension going on between his family. He started to chew the inside of his cheek while his eyes darted back and forth, hoping that the unpleasant incident in the bullpen would just go away.

Callen glanced nervously over at Hetty. He tilted his head to the left and raised one eyebrow as if to say_ now what_? He felt like he had lost control over the team and hoped his boss had something up her sleeve to restore a sense of normalcy to this colleagues in the room once again. Hetty knew it was going take a little time for the individual personalities to adjust to the new Psych Ops but this had nothing to do with adapting to a team member. She wagered this had more to do with Deeks and the death of his partner, Jeb Cooper. Hetty had grilled Mac's former boss about her departure from the LAPD. And despite their surprise at her sudden departure, the department had nothing but glowing reviews to describe McGlone's work history with the department. There had been some talk that Mac had dated Cooper but nothing odd stood out. Was there some unfinished business going on between Deeks and Mac? Hetty had full intentions of finding out after their briefing was over. She would force the air to be cleared between the two of them if she had to. She wouldn't let their petty quarrel or whatever it was upset the balance of the team or jeopardize this mission.

"Front and center, everyone," Hetty called out. "Eric, let's review what we have so far and bring Mac up to speed."

"Right!" Eric jumped to his feet, tapping his tablet which brought on a multi-media display on the wall of the Nunez case and the evidence they had gathered so far.

"We have one missing Lieutenant who may or may not be back on US soil, stalking his family and possibly tangled up with a terrorist cell here in the LA area," Eric summed up the case in one sentence and looked quite pleased with himself.

"Can we please have a little more detail, Mr. Beale," Hetty requested impatiently.

"Of course," he said quickly. "The Lieutenant's helicopter was shot down over Afghani soil seven months ago but his body was never found after extensive reconnaissance. Soon after his disappearance, Seal Team 3 launched a separate intelligence mission that Nunez had over seen and was planning before his disappearance. But it had to be aborted after enemy factions were tipped off about the operation." Eric looked down at his tablet and slid a few more keys around. "These papers in Lieutenant Nunez' writing were found at the scene outlining the details of the mission." The team reviewed the evidence on the screen. "The evidence indicates the local Taliban in the area had been tipped off and it's looking like the Lieutenant is the main suspect."

Nell picked up where her colleague left off. "Seven months later and exactly two nights ago, the Lieutenant's spouse claims she saw her husband standing in the shadows across from their home next to a wooded area of their neighborhood," she said. "Kensi and Deeks may have run into him again last night while they were on stake out at the Nunez home, but there was no definitive visual. So at this point we're not sure who was stalking the house," Nell finished. Kensi rubbed the back of her head, painfully reliving the brief scuffle she had with the intruder.

"If the Lieutenant is back here again what evidence do we have that he may be suffering from Stockholm syndrome? Why not desertion?" Mac asked tentatively. Deeks' heart slammed hard against his chest at the sound of Mac's voice and he didn't dare look back. He kept his focus solely on the screen. It was going to take all of his resolve to make it through this day without losing his mind.

"Seals aren't deserters and they don't commit acts of treason against their country," Sam turned to Mac in anger. "He had to be coerced to develop that kind of sympathy for his captors." For Sam it was the final word.

"Sam was a Navy Seal," Nell whispered under her breath to Mac, who at once understood the sensitivity of Sam's outburst.

"But did you ever consider he's being blackmailed and the collateral is his family?" Mac continued confidently observing Sam's reaction. "Look, I haven't had a chance to read his psych eval but if the family is involved, his captors may be threatening bodily harm to his loved ones if he doesn't help them." Sam grunted but still wasn't giving into his initial assessment.

"We don't have much to go on, but we may have one lead," Hetty cut in. "It's regarding the US dissident who was captured in Afghanistan five years ago after killing a CIA agent in a Taliban assault," Hetty continued. "Anthony Watkins lived with his new Afghani family in the same village where the Lieutenant's helicopter went down in this region of Kandahar," she pointed to a remote area on the map.

"He has a parole hearing coming up and the Muslim community is saying he was framed for the death and they're calling for his release," Callen added.

"That's why I've asked Eric and Nell to do some more research into his background and see if we get any hits that may lead us back to the Lieutenant's disappearance," Hetty said.

"I think Sam and I should take a ride over to the penitentiary and have a little one-on-one with Mr. Watkins," Callen suggested. "Mac you may want to speak with the federal prosecutors' office and see what they have on him during his stay in Afghanistan. Maybe they have some insights on a connection between the two."

"Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye, I want you to check out the local Muslim community where Watkins spent all his time before his conversion," Hetty said as she turned to the two agents. "See if any of them knew Watkins or has seen the Lieutenant and then I want you to take Mrs. Nunez and her son to our safe house and stay with them as security detail tonight…unless you are not up to it Ms. Blye?"

"I'm fine Hetty. No problems," Kensi dismissed the throbbing in her head. Deeks looked down at the floor, slightly shook his head and began to head out of Ops without waiting for the briefing to end.

"Mr. Deeks, could I see you for a moment in my office?" Hetty called out before Deeks could disappear through the doors. He turned his head in deference to Hetty and gave her a brief nod but kept right on walking.

Mac watched Deeks as he left. She was sure he couldn't wait to get out of there and away from her presence. She noticed Nell and Eric were staring at her intently and gave them a weak smile in return.

Once in the bullpen, Deeks grabbed his coat and cell phone and walked over to Kensi as she stood at the end of the stairs. "I'll see what Hetty wants and meet you at the car," Deeks said matter-of-factly but didn't wait for an answer as he proceeded to Hetty's office. Kensi nodded to the empty space in front of her. It was if all her nerve endings were naked and exposed. She could fend off the most harden of criminals with little or no effort, but found herself crumbling to pieces at her partner's indifference and raw anger. She shivered and walked quietly out to the SUV.

"Have a seat, Mr. Deeks," Hetty smiled and gestured to the chair in front of her desk as she entered her work space.

"I'd rather stand if you don't mind. Kensi's waiting for me," Deeks addressed his boss as he pointed to the back door.

"Sit down!" Hetty's smile quickly vanished.

"Why don't I sit down," Deeks said with a hint of sarcasm and pulled the chair out.

"Is there something wrong, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked with concern. "I couldn't help but noticed you were a bit shaken by Dr. McGlone's arrival. Of course I reviewed her background before she was hired and I know she had a brief relationship with your partner before he died. Is there anything else I should be aware of... for the record?"

Deeks hesitated and looked away before he answered Hetty. How much did he tell her? He didn't know how to talk to Mac about what happen four years ago, let alone Hetty.

"No. Not as far as I'm concerned," he decided denial was the best response for now with a little bit of the truth thrown in for good measure. "I haven't seen Mac since Detective Cooper died. If you want to know more, you need to ask her."

"I'm asking_ you,_ Mr. Deeks," Hetty insisted strongly. "I need to know if there is going to be a problem with the two of you working together because if there is, we may need to make other accommodations.

"We're both professionals, Hetty," Deeks complied with the standard answer. "There won't be any problems."

"I hope so, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said as she stared him in the eyes. "If there is nothing else you would like to share, then I think you better join you partner now," Hetty picked up her phone and turned away from her agent. Deeks realized he was being summarily dismissed by his employer and regretfully could tell Hetty was not very happy with him right now. They always had a close relationship but she was seriously irritated by his responses to be so short with him. He didn't want her to know the full extent of his relationship with Mac or what really happen. He couldn't stand to see her disappointment in him. It would be too hard to bear on top of everything else.

Deeks made haste to leave the Mission before he ran into Mac. He had lied to Hetty just now because he had no idea how they were going to work it all out. He didn't even know how he was going to face his former lover again let alone play nice. At the beginning of the day Deeks thought Kensi's knock on the head was going to be his biggest problem….funny what a difference a day makes.

Deeks proceeded to the parking lot, entered the passenger side of the car and dropped down into the seat. Kensi stared ahead and was gripping the steering wheel tightly to stop her hands from shaking. She needed to know what was wrong with Deeks but she continued to let the silence between them hang in the air, thick with accusation and blame. Deeks couldn't look at her but hated the tension between them. It was time for him to speak.

"I guess that nasty display of anger will have them talking for a long time to come, huh?" Deeks hung his head, angry at himself for his outburst but trying to remain calm._ "Yeah, remember the day Deeks lost it? _ I'm going to have a lot of damage control to do with the team before the day is done, not to mention squaring things away with you, Kensi." Kensi remained silent and distant. Deeks tried again to get her to respond. "I'm sorry for being such an ass; you didn't deserve me taking my anger out on you the way I did…none of you did."

Kensi didn't answer at first but took a long breath and turned to Deeks. "Ok. No problem. That makes it all right then, doesn't it?" At that point Kensi's voice bellowed. "Let's just go about the day as if nothing happen… is that what you're saying?"

"Look, Kens…," Deeks began to speak.

"Stop! Don't say another word," Kensi held her hand up. "It's my turn to speak and don't even think that fancy apology gets you off the hook, mister because it doesn't!" Kensi was revved up and just getting started. Deeks remained still because he knew he had earned whatever was coming next.

"No, we didn't deserve your little freak show back there! Where do you get off thinking that you can treat your colleagues like that, especially the people who care about you the most? You were a bastard in there, Deeks!" Kensi shouted. "What's going on? You looked like you saw a ghost and then all hell broke loose? Who is this Macaela McGlone? And more importantly, what the fuck did she do to you?" Kensi stopped short not sure if she could continue with the accusations. After she caught her breath, the softness returned to her voice. "We're partners, Deeks and I have _never_ seen you so rattled in all the time we've been together. I don't know who you were in there. You're really scaring me!"

"Join the club," Deeks whispered. Deeks was the most vulnerable he had ever been in his life and he was in big trouble. The two greatest loves of his life were working together and under the same roof and he was supposed to figure out a way to explain what happen? How different his life would have been if Mac hadn't run away…and how much worse he would be if he hadn't met Kensi. He knew he was going to have to come clean and soon. His partner was sensitive enough to pick up on the fact that he and Mac were more than just old friends. They say God has a great sense of humor, and Deeks figured he must be up in heaven laughing his ass off right about now.

* * *

_When Marty came walking from behind that pillar, I thought my heart had been shot through with a .38 caliber. The room dimmed and all I could see was his face. How I found the words to say hello to him, I'll never know. He looked as handsome and beautiful as on the night I kissed him goodbye. I yearned to run to him and bury my head in his chest and never let him go. How could fate be so cruel to bring us together again without the chance of absolution? Haven't the gods punished us enough? I knew Marty would be hurt and angry at me after Coop died, and this was exactly the reason why I left him without saying a word. I just couldn't face him again. He will never forgive me for what happen to Coop. I know that now and his reaction after seeing me today says it all. Living and loving together is no longer an option, but can we find a way to work together? I just don't know._


	7. Chapter 7

**_Venus Rising_**

**_by phillydi_**

**_Chapter 7_**

* * *

_As Operation Manger, I'm not always privy to my agent's dark secrets. But whenever they surface, I suffer their slings and arrows as if they were my own. I take even their smallest of difficulties under my wings and pray to God in heaven He will keep them safe in a world of monsters and demons. As hard as I try, there are just some things that even I can't fix. Every time one of my agents dies at the hands of these unmerciful human beings, a small part of me dies as well. Sullivan, Dom, Hunter, Renko…all gone. My heart aches for each one and their loss._

_Today I saw the anguish on Mr. Deeks face and his heart was heavy. He thought I was angry with him but I was really angry with myself because I didn't know how to help him. As if his hurt wasn't enough to deal with, I must keep his partner from crumbling as she watches him suffer at her side. Where Dr. McGlone fits into all this…. I have yet to ascertain. There is a story here that hasn't been told and it's been concealed behind festering guilt and inexpressible grief. I know. Unresolved matters of the heart usually are. _

_People think my job is to keep the agency's wheels turning smoothly and SECNAV happy. No…my real work is to try to keep these extraordinary people, who are in many ways my adoptive children…safe and sound, emotional as well as physically. It is imperative that I find the key to fix this tangled mess before any more misery and tears are shed. _

_Bugger._

* * *

"Change places with me. I'm driving."

"What?" Kensi looked over in surprise as Deeks threw open his door to jog around to the driver's side. He pulled open the handle and motioned for her to step out of the car.

"Please, Kensi. Just trust me," he begged. "I need to go somewhere first and I want you to come with me. I'll answer all your questions once we get there," he pleaded.

"Fine! But can I at least know where we are going?" she pouted as she took his place in the passenger side.

"Just trust me. Ok?" Deeks said as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. It looks like the investigation was going to have to wait, Kensi thought to herself as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Deeks had had enough. His secrets had eaten away at his soul for so long and now he just needed his best friend to listen to his sins and perhaps grant him absolution. It was the biggest gamble of his life knowing he could lose Kensi's respect irrevocably but he had to take that chance. If Kensi could find it in her heart to forgive him for what he had done to Coop, then maybe he could begin the process to forgive himself as well.

The partners kept their silence as they drove through the streets of Los Angeles. Deeks was deep in thought and Kensi stared anxiously out the side window watching the streets signs fly by. Occasionally she would glance over wondering what was going through his mind. She couldn't even guess where he was taking her. His silence was a bit unnerving, but she had agreed to trust him. If this place would help her get some answers… then she would gladly suffer through the apprehension of not knowing their final destination.

As Deeks took the first exit off one of the main highways, Kensi recognized the busy, urban neighborhood of Studio City immediately. They traveled along Ventura Boulevard, home of eclectic mom and pop shops, coffee bars and fast food restaurants. She could feel her stomach growling but her head was still spinning from the attack last night. The last thing she wanted was food in her stomach. Whatever Deeks was getting ready to reveal to her soon wouldn't help settle the butterflies in her gut either.

They rode on for a few more blocks before Deeks pulled into the parking lot of a small convenience store. He sat quietly staring at the intersection, watching the traffic light turn from green to yellow to red and then again as it repeated the sequence. By the expression on his face, Kensi could tell he was reliving an agonizing memory. He was no longer in the SUV; his thoughts were far away and they had taken him to another time. He opened the door and like a man in a trance he walked to the corner of the intersection. Kensi rushed out of the car, running up behind him deeply concerned.

"Deeks, are you ok? What are we doing here?" she asked and laid her hand gently on his arm as if to wake him from his spell. She looked out over the intersection and couldn't figure out what was so important about bring her here.

"It will be four years tomorrow," Deeks nodded at the intersection and Kensi followed his gaze. "Most people visit his grave but I come here instead." He rubbed his hands across his eyes to try and wipe the dreadful image from that night that was seared into his memory.

"This is where Coop died," he said as he began to tell his story. "He was alone, brokenhearted and drunk out of his mind because he thought the woman he loved was cheating on him with another man," Deeks felt the lump in his throat and swallowed hard. He didn't know how he was going to finish the rest of the story. He took a few seconds to compose himself and continued. "He crashed into another vehicle on this spot and I got here just in time to watch them carry his lifeless body out of the car," Deeks spoke with a deep sadness in his voice.

"I'm so sorry, Deeks," Kensi whispered. "That must have been terrible for you, but it wasn't your fault," Kensi looked up at her partner and ran her hand up and down his upper arm to comfort him. Then she stiffened as she watched his bottom lip began to tremble and his head slump over his shoulders.

Deeks gave a short, sarcastic laugh and closed his eyes. "God, I wish that was true. But I killed Coop just as sure as if I was driving that car myself." He turned to look her in the face because he wanted to be sure she understood the gravity of what he was going to say next.

"It was me Kensi. I was the man Mac was having the affair with," he said. "He died because I wasn't man enough to tell him I had fallen in love with her!" he cried out in anger and drew himself away from Kensi.

Deeks' first instinct was to distance himself from Kensi, because he couldn't stand to see the condemnation in her eyes. Kensi was his partner and confidant now and if he lost her support he would be devastated. He stepped off the curb abruptly, not paying attention to the oncoming traffic. Suddenly from out of the corner of her eye, Kensi could see a car barreling up the side lane and heading straight towards Deeks.

"Deeks!" She screamed and with only seconds to spare snatched him back onto to the sidewalk with every ounce of strength she had in her body and cradled him safely in her arms, away from the immediate danger.

"What the hell were you trying to do? You could have killed yourself, you idiot!" Kensi weakly scolded Deeks but continued to hold him tightly in her arms.

She would never let him go. It was then that she knew she would always have his back. Always. No matter what he had done.

Passersby stared strangely at the entwined couple but Kensi and Deeks were oblivious to the world around them. Deeks buried his head in her shoulder and heaved a sigh of relief. His dark secret was hers now and just sharing his pain lightened the unbearable load. Kensi could feel the tension leave his body as he surrendered himself to her loving embrace.

Kensi looked around quickly for a private place they could talk and spied a small children's park on the corner next to the convenience store.

"Come on, let's go sit down. Our investigation at the mosque can wait," she said.

Deeks didn't argue, he was too tired to fight anymore. He was more than willing to let Kensi be his confessor if only she would continue to take this burden off his shoulders while he pleaded guilty to all of his sins. The park was empty with a few pieces of playground equipment grouped in the middle of a sand box. Deeks sat on the ladder of a multi-color slide while Kensi leaned up next to him holding on to the sides.

"You might as well tell me everything, Deeks….the whole crazy story," Kensi urged him.

"You may not like what you're going to hear, Kensi," Deeks murmured. "I've had to live with what I did for a long time now. And it's not pretty."

"Let me be the judge of that," Kensi said trying to present a brave face while her entire insides were twisting and turning anxious as to where Deeks' story would take them next.

The detective breathed deeply and tried to calm the overwhelming emotions that raced around inside his head. "That intersection over there is where it all ended, but it began on a glorious day at the beach, where the surf was churning just right and the water was so warm, you know, just the way I like it? Coop and I went to Surfrider Beach where he introduced me to Mac for the first time," Deeks stopped to remember their initial meeting. "I fell in love with her the moments I saw her. She hit me like a ton of bricks," he smiled remembering Mac rising out of the water holding her surf board by her side. "I've never been so taken with a woman like that before and I knew then and there I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life."

Kensi stopped breathing for a moment and looked away. She didn't want him to see her eyes glowing wild with envy. Why was she so angry? She had no right to be this jealous, she kept reminding herself. She told Deeks only last night she wasn't ready to give her heart to him yet. She had no holds on this man but she had hoped they could work things out eventually. Time was no longer on her side anymore. Right away she knew that Mac coming to work at NCIS was a game changer.

Deeks continued to tell his story and didn't hold back on the details. If Kensi wanted to hear the whole sorted truth, then that's what she would get. "I tried to stay away from her because I didn't want to hurt Coop. He was my partner and my brother and the thought of betraying our friendship like that was unthinkable," Deeks shook his head vehemently. "He was so happy and I wanted the best for them…I really did! You got to believe me! But it was torture to see them together so I kept my distance. But my attraction to Mac was so much stronger than you can ever imagine…I knew if I got the chance to take her to my bed that would be it!"

"One night I got that chance. We fell desperately in love and I never looked back."

Kensi winced at the personal details. She didn't want to know that Deeks had made love to this woman or how much he had cared for her…and perhaps still did?

"How long?" she stammered.

"You mean how long we were together?" he asked. Kensi nodded silently.

"About four months. We had to steal kisses in the shadows for the most part, desperately trying to find time alone together. Neither of us wanted to hurt Coop by telling him we were in love. Isn't that fucking ironic?" he cried. "We were so worried about hurting his feelings we had no idea that destiny had something more sinister in store for him…and for us."

Deeks stared at Kensi to gage her reaction but she had already looked away, unable to hold her emotions in check. Deeks and Mac were wrong in not telling Coop they had fallen in love but it also wasn't fair that fate had held them so accountable for Coop's actions as well. To Kensi it was all so sad and unnecessary.

"Mac was with me the night he died. Coop had made dinner plans for them but she made up some excuse and came over to my place instead. He was drunk when he called me sick with fear that he had lost her. He was going to go out and look for her. I rushed out to try and stop him before he got into his car but I was too late," Deeks relived the horror again of arriving at the shocking accident and seeing Coop lying dead on the cold city street. "After I accompanied his body to the morgue, I came back for Mac but she was gone. I never saw her again until this morning."

Deeks was totally spent as his last words drifted silently between them. Kensi really didn't know what she could say that would comfort him and there were so many questions she wanted to ask but was afraid to hear the answers. No wonder Deeks was in so much pain. His loss had been immeasurable.

"Do you still love her, Deeks?" Kensi had to ask the only question that mattered right now.

"I don't know," he shook his head forlornly. "I've been living so long with all these emotions I don't know what's real and what's not. One thing's for certain, I didn't realize how angry I was at Mac until I saw her again this morning. After Coop died, and Mac disappeared, it was like my life was over," Deeks stuffed his hands in his back pockets and walked over to an old bench and sat down, waiting for Kensi to join him. She followed him over but remained quiet not wanting to disturb his chain of thought.

"I was devastated when I realized Mac was gone. I spent a lot of lonely nights on undercover stakeouts wondering how she could abandon me after all we meant to each other. I thought she would eventually return but she never did," Deeks took a deep breath to prevent the tears from rolling down his face.

"I never felt so alone, Kens," he continued and her heart broke as he whispered her name. She wanted to hold him in her arms and make all the hurt go away but she knew she couldn't. "I wanted to die," he said. "It was the first time I truly understood why people take their own life. Every day was torture for me but I didn't deserve to take the easy way out. I was determined to pay for my sins by living with the pain they left behind. Eventually I got real good at keeping it hidden behind a clown's mask….the jokes, the stupid one-liners, the care-free smile. It was all a ruse so no one would know the guilt I carried around. Not even you."

Kensi looked up at the sky and shook her head, wondering what kind of god allowed this type of suffering to continue. There was no use playing the blame game anymore. It was a tragic love story that could have had a happier ending if they had played their cards differently. But that was not meant to be. The only way she could help him was to make him see that he couldn't continue to be responsible for Coop's actions any longer.

"Deeks, no one can bring Coop back and as simplistic as this sounds, you need to find a way to move on," Kensi believed. "It's not my place to sit and pass judgment on what you and Mac did. Besides, you've done a pretty good job of doing that yourself," Kensi got down on one knee and positioned herself in front of Deeks. She placed her hand over his closed fist. "Enough already! You've suffered enough! I believe you paid your debt to Coop a thousand times over in your actions and deeds since then. Do you really think he would have wanted you to continue to punish yourself like this?" Kensi demanded. "From what you told me he sounds like he was a pretty great guy?"

Deeks was stoic but a small smile spread to one side of his face. "He was the best," Deeks said as he remembered the honorable man that he loved and would never forget.

"Then I think you should make peace with Coop, knowing he has long forgiven you by now. Then it's time for you to move on," Kensi stopped not know if she was ready to share the rest of her thoughts. Would it be a mistake? "As far as Mac is concerned…well, I know I can't tell you what to do there either, but if we're all going to work in harmony together, I think you two have to clear the air as well."

Deeks weighed Kensi's words carefully and shook his head in agreement. He suddenly leaned down and gave Kensi a tender kiss on the cheek. "When did you get to be so smart, Kensi Blye? I feel like I'm sitting in front of King Solomon himself."

"Queen Solomon to you, mister," she poked a finger at his chest, "And I've always been smart, you just haven't been paying attention!" She smiled warmly back at him and then gently smacked his knee with the palm of her hand. "Come on…let's go…we have an investigation to get to." Kensi sprang to her feet and began walking back to the car feeling quite pleased with herself.

Deeks smiled in amazement as he watched his partner sashay seductively away from him. She always had a way of making him feel so damn good about himself.

"Don't fool yourself, Fern," he murmured quietly. "You will always have my full attention." He took one last look at the busy intersection and stood up to follow closely behind his partner.

* * *

_Maybe Kensi is right. I know I have to move on but I've been living with this overwhelming feeling of guilt for so long it pervades my entire being. If we had told Coop right away, he would have been angry but maybe he wouldn't have done what he did. He might have hated me for the rest of his life but at least he would have been alive. Knowing Coop as I did, he would have eventually come around. He was too decent for his own good. _

_If I had a chance to do it all over again, I certainly would have taken a different road. But frankly, I don't know if the outcome would have changed because we were both so drunk in love with the woman and there could only be one victor. The loser would never be the same again. I think I would have preferred death over losing Mac. She had intoxicated me with an overwhelming desire to claim her as my own. Even this morning I could taste the cravings and longing I once had for her and… why not? She was a good and beautiful woman. What man wouldn't want her? But her disappearance left me devastated; I don't know if I could live with that kind of lost again. _

_Do I still love her? I told Kensi the truth. I don't know. _

* * *

Thanks for your great reviews. I love hearing from you all….


	8. Chapter 8

**Venus Rising**

**By Phillydi**

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

_My heart was beating so fast and I was shaking inside like a leaf as Deeks told me about his romance with Mac. Why the hell am I so jealous? Deeks has dated other women in the past but I never thought twice about it before. They were brief flings and then it was over. I could see the indifference in his face the next morning after a date…no one seemed important enough to be granted a second chance. But Mac was different. Four months with one woman was a long time for Deeks and if she hadn't left him they might still be together today. So how do I compete with this woman? She's beautiful, intelligent, has college degrees out the wazoo, not to mention her pedigree background in law enforcement. No wonder Deeks fell in love with her….what man wouldn't? She completes him in ways I never could._

_When Deeks professed his love for me last night, I admit I wasn't surprised. I knew his declaration was close at hand as I had seen the signs lately. He begged me to return his love but I was so frightened. I convinced myself it was because I never wanted to get close to another man after what Jack did to me. I can understand Deeks' feelings of abandonment. I know what rejection of that magnitude feels like. That's the reason I never wanted to be so vulnerability ever again. But perhaps the real reason I rejected his advances was because I felt I was never good enough for Deeks and he would eventually leave me just like Jack did._

_Now that Mac is in his life again, I can see I'm really no match for the real wonder woman …What do I possibly have to give him when she once gave him the world?_

* * *

Mac sat in her office, staring blankly at the computer screen. A large NCIS logo was emblazon across the monitor but she ignored it. For the past hour she was trying to review information from the federal prosecutor's office but she just couldn't focus. Mac was lost in thought, her troubled mind running over and over what had happen earlier in the day. She prayed that she would never have to face Deeks again in her life time and now he was suddenly thrust back in her world? She shook her head sadly remembering the miserable events that led to her abrupt withdrawal from Deeks' life.

She played the 'what if' game over the years blaming the irresponsible choices she made that led to Coop's death. He might still be alive if she had only dealt with the no-win situation they found themselves in back then. This was all her fault and she was sure Deeks blamed her for Coop's death, which was deeply evident on his face today. Deeks insisted that they tell Coop together about their relationship but it really wasn't his responsibility… it was hers. She could accept Coop's hatred but she didn't want him to feel the same way towards his partner. She searched for a way to put the separation and blame all on her shoulders…but she never got that chance until the final seconds of Coop's life.

Because the most traumatic part of that terrible night is what Mac had kept hidden from everyone around her including Deeks. In the final moments of his life, Coop has called her cell phone one last time as he drove along Ventura Boulevard trying to find her. She tried desperately to reason with him but he was drunk and angry and accused her of cheating on him. As fate would have it, Mac was actually at the scene of the accident way before Deeks got there. The last thing she heard as she begged Coop to let her explain was the sound of metal hitting metal and Coop screaming in horror as he veered into oncoming traffic. She would take his screams to her grave.

She disappeared from Deeks' life right after the call from Coop and never stopped running. She handed in her resignation to the LAPD the next morning and took the first plane out of Los Angeles to withdraw to her parent's summer home in Cape Cod. She couldn't face Deeks ever again. She never wanted to hear the recriminations or blame in his voice. It was over and he would hate her for the rest of his life and that's how it should be. She didn't deserve Deeks' love.

Mac rested her head on top of her arms; she had cried an ocean of tears. Now there was only extreme sadness. All of a sudden she heard a soft creaking from the couch besides her. She immediately popped her head up to see Hetty sitting quietly, smiling with her hands clasped neatly on top of her lap.

"Not exactly the way you imagined your first day on the job, is it my dear?" she asked.

"I'm fine, Hetty," Mac cleared her throat and straightened the papers on her desk.

"When I come in here and see my new Psych Ops with her head buried on her desk and not even halfway through the first day… I would say you're not fine at all," Hetty stared at Mac intently, her right eye brow raised in question. "Mr. Deeks assures me that you are both professionals and that you can work through any misunderstanding that happen when you were both at the department….but that is all the information he would give me. He told me to ask you for the rest of the story."

"_Misunderstanding_? That's a very kind word," Mac smiled despondently. She slowly stood up and walked around her desk and stopped by the arched window in her office. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and gazed out over the courtyard for a few seconds and then turned to face Hetty again. "The death of Deeks' partner, Detective Cooper was a very traumatic experience for both of us. I was personally involved with Cooper and I'm afraid I dealt with his death in a manner that was very abrupt and left no closure for Detective Deeks."

"I see," Hetty nodded in contemplation. "Well that's a very clinical explanation and I have a feeling there is something much more unsettling underneath all those fancy words. But you must understand my dilemma? I brought you both into NCIS as members of my team because you were the best at what you do. We all bring a certain amount of…shall we say personal baggage to any new beginnings in life, but I need to know you will both be mission ready at all times. I can't let your personal differences dictate the outcome of our work."

"Yes of course, Hetty. I'll speak to Marty, I mean Detective Deeks, and I'm sure we can work this through," Mac said.

"Good, because I don't want to lose either of you and especially not while we are in the middle of a very delicate case," Hetty said. "I need you both to focus on this assignment and put whatever difficulties you faced behind you. Do I make myself clear?"

"You do, ma'am," Mac nodded soberly. She hoped her body language was convincing because she had no idea if she and Deeks could ever resolve their misunderstanding.

"Call me Hetty, please," the small woman insisted. "It's natural to feel like a maternal figure to you all, but I'm still not ready to be addressed as Old Mother Hubbard," Hetty stopped and walked over to Mac and touched her gently on her arm. "I hope that you can eventually come to me with anything that is bothering you. And if ever you would like to tell me the whole story of what happen back then, my heart and mind are always open."

"Thank you, Hetty," Mac smiled in gratitude. She wasn't sure how she and Deeks would work this whole mess out but maybe there was still a chance with someone like Hetty on her side.

Hetty was half way out of Mac's office when she stopped and turned around quickly. "Oh…one more thing. I want you and Mr. Deeks to be on security detail tonight at the safe house for Mrs. Nunez and her son. Ms. Blye needs time to rest after her injury last night."

"Hetty, I don't think…." Mac started to protest. She wasn't ready to work alongside Deeks just yet.

Hetty held up her hand reading Mac's mind. "No time like the present, Doctor to get your differences worked out. I also need you to assess the mental state of the family and let me know how they are holding up under all this pressure. You may also bring a fresh perspective by being there first hand."

Mac nodded her head in agreement and tried to focus on the success of the mission instead of her past indiscretions with Marty Deeks. If she was to make a go at this new job, she had no other choice but to face Deeks head on and find out right away if there was a future for them working together under the same roof at NCIS.

* * *

The outside perimeter of the mosque in East Los Angeles was empty by the time Kensi and Deeks pulled up out front. Most of the congregation was inside attending the noon time prayers or _salah_ which had just started. The agents waited in respect as the members completed their devotions. After a brief interview with the religious leader or Iman, the partners left the mosque with no more information than when they started their investigation. The Iman had never seen Lt. Nunez around the mosque or knew if he was in anyway affiliated with Watkins when he was a member of the congregation. They thanked him for his time and left. As they headed out through the front door, Deeks bumped into a man dressed in a muted shemagh and thobe as he left the prayer hall.

"Be careful," the detective gently warned the man. Deeks looked into his face for a brief second. The man turned away quickly but not before Deeks was able to see a red, angry slash fixed across his left cheek and a patch covering one eye. Deeks was sure that the injury, wherever it came from, had been the result of a nasty incident from his past. He watched the man as he quietly slipped down the hall and out of back door and then turned and followed Kensi to the car.

"Well, that was a waste of time," Kensi moaned, as she started up the ignition.

"Maybe not," Deeks said as an afterthought and glanced back at the mosque. "Did you see that guy I bumped into just now? I know I've seen that face before. I mean how do you forget a face like that?" Deeks searched his memory for a glimmer of recollection. "I just can't place him! Damn!"

"Maybe it will come to you on the way back to the mission," she said as she pulled out. "Let's see what the others were able to find."

* * *

"So, Mac seems nice, huh?" Eric asked and looked slyly over at Nell hoping to get the latest scoop about their new Psych Ops. "Have you had a chance to talk with her?" The two had been squirrelled away in Ops since early morning and both were getting bored pouring through the overwhelming amount of evidence regarding Watkins.

"Are you asking me to gossip, Mr. Beale?" Nell looked at Eric out of the corner of her eye. "Because you know I would never do that. Right?"

"Oh right! No… of course not. Me neither. Absolutely not." Eric nodded his head in conviction.

"But…" Nell said while looking over her shoulder. "Since we have so much information at our fingers tips, it wouldn't be hard to just happen to come across some personal files… that just happen to have some information about our new Psych Ops."

"Come on, spill the beans, Jones what do you know?" Eric whispered through his teeth and pulled his chair up closer to Nell's.

"A certain LAPD detective…who will remain nameless, use to be partners with a Jeb Cooper in homicide. And Cooper use to be romantically involved with Mac. After he died in a car accident, she quit the department the following day and the detective went immediately into undercover work."

"Wow, I wonder what happen?" Eric thought out loud.

"I don't know but by the expression on said detective's face today, I would say it wasn't good," Nell guessed.

"And what would you say, Mr. Beale?" Eric's entire body froze in fear as he heard Hetty's voice booming from behind.

"I would say absolutely nothing, because I have nothing to say," Eric mumbled as he rolled his chair quickly back over to his console. To their overwhelming relief, Callen and Sam rapidly made their entrance into Ops with Kensi and Deeks following closely behind.

"Eric, please ask Dr. McGlone to join us in Ops…that is if you are not too busy going through personnel files." Hetty made her point derisively which forced a bemused look on Callen's face. He wondered what new trouble these two had gotten themselves into today.

"The floor is yours, Mr. Callen," Hetty turned to her senior agent. Callen leaned up against the center table in Ops and began to speak.

"Watkins is an arrogant s.o.b. who still denies his involvement in the raid and the death of the CIA operative," Callen said. As he retold their conversation with the prisoner, Mac quietly entered the room and stood in the back anxiously studying the team, and glancing over nervously at Deeks.

"We showed him Nunez' picture but he never saw him before," Sam added. "He seemed genuinely apathetic when we asked him to acknowledge any involvement with the Lieutenant."

"Mac, you've had a chance to study his file, anything new from your perspective?" Hetty asked. Deeks turned his head slowly in Mac's direction when she began to speak but his eyes were directed at the floor. He couldn't face her yet. His heart was beating erratically and in a thousand different directions. Focus, Deeks!

"The evidence our government has gathered against Watkins looks irrefutable," Mac began. "He has a juvie sheet on him the length of my arm. If I had to make an educated guess, I'd say he used the Taliban's cause to further his own agenda," Mac looked around the room to catch her breath. She knew she had to take this opportunity to strengthen her position within the team although reestablishing Deeks' trust and respect was an unknown. "I spoke to the prosecutors' office and it seems his lawyers have got the feds on a slight technicality right now which may be the loop hole that will get him out of jail."

"So that's why that punk was so smug," Sam grunted.

Mac went up to the Ops multi-media screen. "Eric can you pull up those files, I sent you?" She waited patiently as a number of pictures filled the wall.

"His lawyers are trying to prove that Watkins' Fourteenth Amendment rights were violated when he was arrested," Mac pointed to a series of head shots of one man. "This is Carlton Fisher. He was also an expatriate who was part of the attack that day in Kandahar. He was taken into custody, extradited and brought back to this country along with Watkins. He was never arrested and later let go after there was not enough evidence to convict him in the murder or taking part in the planning of the attack. Watkins' lawyers are claiming the government violated the equal protection clause of the Fourteenth Amendment when they arrested Watkins and not Fisher.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but once he committed these acts of treason, he gave up his right of citizenship and the Amendment no longer applied to him," Kensi reasoned.

"Yes, but his lawyers claim the same theory applies to Fisher and the fact that they never arrested Fisher sets Watkins case up for that loop hole I was talking about," Mac explained. "You can't have equal protection without equal prosecution. Watkins may walk free if his conviction gets overturned." Mac looked around the room and stopped at Deeks who was glaring intently at one of the photos to the left of the screen.

"That's him!" Deeks cried out and walked up to the screen and stood next to Mac. He pointed excitedly at one of the eight men photographed together in the Afghani village where Watkins had lived.

"Yes, Fisher is in that picture along with Watkins which is even more evidence they were together as the time of the attack," Mac said unsure of where Deeks was going with his remark.

Deeks turned to Mac and was momentarily distracted as he faced her directly. "No, not Fisher, I'm talking about this man," Deeks forced himself to concentrate as he began to explain. "When Kensi and I were leaving the mosque today I bumped into this man. Hard to miss with that eye patch and scar. I knew I had seen him before but I didn't connect him to this picture that was up here earlier in the day. He's a member of that mosque." Deeks took a step back; it unnerved him to be so close to Mac again.

"That is significant, Mr. Deeks. If you are correct that could be the connection we need to the Lieutenant's disappearance and possibly to Watkins," Hetty said.

"The leader of the mosque said they wanted to know when Watkins's parole hearing was coming up, they felt he was unjustly accused of the murder," Kensi added.

"Look, Watkins was no angel, but it wouldn't be the first time the CIA has used a scapegoat to hide the real reason behind the death of one of its agents," Mac reasoned. "It would have been easy to use Watkins's past and set him up as the bad guy especially if they were trying to cover something that went wrong during the mission."

"We need to know who your mystery man with the eye patch is, Mr. Deeks and what if anything he has to do with our missing Lieutenant," Hetty said forcefully.

"If they brought Nunez back to the US with this man, it was for a reason…and we need to find out why," Callen said. "If we find this man, we find the Lieutenant."

"Agreed," said Hetty. "I suggest you and Mr. Hanna continue to pursue this lead and I want to speak to Mr. Deeks and Miss Blye regarding tonight's security detail."

Mac followed Callen and Sam out of Ops and knew the next set of orders Hetty had for Deeks and Kensi were not going to be taken as well. Deeks barely looked at her just now, how would they be able to work together tonight if he couldn't accept her as a part of his team? Even though he may hate her, ironically she had never stopped loving him. She could tell by the way her body reacted to him just now. She fell apart like a besotted school girl when he stood next to her. Her whole future at NCIS rested on the outcome of what happen tonight and based on the first eight hours things didn't look like they were going to get much better!

* * *

_I tried to protest but Hetty wasn't listening. I turned to Kensi but she was strangely quiet as she was ordered home to get some rest. Her reaction was one of acceptance and sadness. I can't believe this! What's going on? Why did she give in without a fight? As much as I agree that Kensi needs a night off, I'm not prepared to partner with Mac tonight ether. I'm acutely aware we need to work things out but I still don't know how I feel about Mac coming back into my life again. I need some time to process everything and now I'm not going to get that chance. We are going to be thrown into the lion's den together and I'm not so sure who is going to make it out alive after all is said and done. Tonight is going to be hell._

* * *

_Thanks for all your kind reviews...don't stop!_


	9. Chapter 9

**Venus Rising**

**by Phillydi**

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

_She just seems so sad. From the minute I met her I could feel her incredible strength but there was also this invisible ribbon of sorrow that wrapped around her too. After her extremely awkward introduction in the Bullpen today, I knew something wasn't right and that's when I did a little recon on my own to find out more about Dr. Macaela McGlone. _

_Eric and I deserved Hetty's little scolding today but I had to share with him what I uncovered because it troubles me so much that her past was somehow linked tragically with Detective Deeks. What happen between those two? How much does Hetty know? You certainly don't need to be a psych major to interpret their body language today in Ops. Just now I stopped by Mac's office to drop off all the files on the Nunez family before she heads out to the safe house with Deeks. She was seated at her desk staring out the window and it took more than one knock on her door for her to acknowledge my presence. This is one troubled lady and for some reason I feel truly sorry for her. I've never seen so much sadness emanate from one person. I hope someone figures out soon what's going on before it continues to upset the balance of the team. She seems real nice. I just wish there was a way I could help her._

* * *

Kensi stood behind her desk, throwing items into her back pack and mumbling to herself. Deeks was still in Ops with Hetty. _I'm being sent home to rest! Yeah, like I need rest while all this is going on. Jeez, my head is killing me!_

Callen walked by but stopped short and returned to stand in front of Kensi. "Are you alright, Kens?" he asked with concern.

"Huh? Yeah," she shrugged and kept packing her belongings. Callen placed his hands on his hips and took in a sharp breath.

"Then maybe you'll want to tell me what's going on here?" he asked with just a twinge of annoyance in his voice. "Hetty says it's personal and to mind my own business. But Deeks is acting like a bull in a china shop; Mac looks like a deer in headlights, and let's not forget my partner who is pissed off as hell and pacing in the parking lot," he stopped momentarily to gage her reaction. "Now…. I walk by your desk and you're talking to yourself! If this is none of my business, I would like to know what is?" Callen stopped to look angrily around the room and then pointed to himself. "This is my team and for some reason you're all acting like patients in an insane asylum!"

Kensi shook her head and looked sadly back at Callen. Her headache had returned big time and the day's events were beginning to weigh heavily on her shoulders. Deeks story was not hers to tell but Callen was right, it was affecting the team in many disturbing ways. She could only hope that Deeks would be able to work things out with Mac tonight so the team could function normally again. Kensi laughed to herself because she had no idea if anything would ever be back to normal again!

"Look, I have a splitting headache, Callen and I'm going home," Kensi sighed. "I don't know exactly what's going on but I'm sure it will all be ok," she lied_. Just the way everything was going to be ok between her and Deeks? _ After tonight, she may have lost her partner for good. Kensi picked up her bag and left before Callen could ask any more questions. She just didn't have the strength to deal with the drama any more.

* * *

Deeks stepped into the Bullpen and looked around before heading towards his desk. Most of the agency's employees were packing up for the day or long gone. Twilight brought an eerie glow to the walls of the Mission and he turned on the desk light before he sat down. Kensi had left without saying goodnight. No surprise there. He could read the anxiety on her face when Hetty relieved her of her duties for the evening. He wasn't feeling too great either. He closed his eyes briefly to gather his thoughts and propped his arm up to rest his forehead in the palm of his hand. Emotionally he was drained. He didn't know if his heart could take another beating after retelling Kensi the events that led up to Coop's death. Could he just get through the night pretending nothing was wrong? Or acting like Mac was…

"Marty?"

"Oh, ah….sorry," Deeks stumbled for words as he looked up to find Mac standing in front of his desk. "I didn't get much sleep last night." He rubbed his hand across his face, a little embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable position.

"I guess I'll be taking first watch then, huh?" Mac said quietly. She smiled briefly at Deeks but turned away. She brushed up against Callen's desk and sat down on the edge directly across from him. He leaned back in his chair and linked his hands together in front of his waist. He stared for a long time at Mac and let out a long breath of air.

"Well I guess if we have to work together, we better get going," he said coolly and stood up quickly. He grabbed his back pack and walked out of the Bullpen without looking back.

"Are you coming?" Deeks called out as he headed down the corridor and out towards the car.

"Like I have a choice?" Mac asked the question but found herself talking to an empty room.

She picked up her bag and followed Deeks out to the car. She could see he was in a bad way and was hiding his hurt behind the bravado. Mac knew she deserved being on the receiving end of his terse words but if they were going to have a productive night she would have to pull out every trick in the book to get him to talk. It was the only way they could work through the pain and mistrust. If she failed, she just bought a one way ticket out of NCIS for good.

* * *

Driving to the safe house, Mac tried to engage Deeks in conversation regarding the Nunez family. _Keep it light_, she thought…_talk about the case_. Mostly he answered in grunts or one word responses and kept his eyes squarely on the road. He avoided eye contact with Mac at all times. It was so easy to agree with Kensi that he needed to clear the air and start fresh again with Mac but as much as his head understood the concept, his heart just wouldn't follow. He shared an all-encompassing love for this woman once and the wounds had never healed. She had left his soul battered and his heart in pieces. If he only had some time to adjust to her return. But who was he kidding? One day, one year….it didn't matter. Would closure bring him the peace he so desperately sought? He had no idea. They drove along in silence for another five minutes before Mac decided to push the envelope.

"Marty, I know you're angry at me, but we got to talk and get things out in the open."

"Mac, don't….." Deeks warned.

"You're not ready yet, I get it. Neither am I, but we can't even pretend to be a team if we're not going to talk about what happen between us."

"Look, I promised Hetty we would be professional and that the job would come first and I intend to keep that promise," Deeks said testily. "Our personal history is not important now."

"Oh really?" Mac recoiled with surprise. "Well it should be! Because you don't trust me and without trust we are dead in the water."

Deeks let out a snort in defense of his position. "I'll tell you what….as long as you are not going to run out on me like the night Coop died, I'll take my chances." He had replied with more hostility than he intended.

"That's not fair, Marty and you know it," she pleaded. "Aren't you even willing to hear my side of the story?"

"Well, life _isn't_ fair Mac and secondly, if your side of the story wasn't important enough to tell me back then, I really don't want to hear about it now."

Deeks pulled up in front of a non-descript ranch house, just one in a line of similar constructed homes on the same block. He quickly got of the car and slammed the door leaving Mac behind in stunned silence. She closed her eyes and lowered her head in shame. She didn't expect this to be easy but she wasn't prepared for his bitter resentment either. Mac reminded herself she was going to have to take this one step at a time. Deeks wasn't going to be pushed into reconciliation even on a superficial level. She took a deep breath, got out of the car and followed him around to the back door of the safe house.

Deeks relieved the two agents who had brought Darlene Nunez and her son, Carter to the safe house. After their debriefing he made a thorough sweep of the home, checking exit points and any other areas of exposure that could bring about a security breach. He knew there were two more agents keeping watch in an unmarked car and patrolling the perimeters. He would need to make contact with them shortly. Deeks came back into the kitchen and introduced Mac to the family and Darlene immediately invited them to dinner.

"It's only ham and cheese sandwiches but you are more than welcome to join us," she explained. "The rest of our supplies will come tomorrow."

"Maybe later, but thanks," Deeks said and looked over at her son sitting at the kitchen table. "How are you doing, buddy?" Deeks asked Carter and reached out to tassel his hair.

"Ok, I guess," he shrugged. "Do you know where my dad is?"

"No, but our people are out there looking for him. I promise," Deeks said with an air of authority.

"Where's agent Kensi?" Carter asked looking directly at Mac.

"She getting some rest tonight," Deeks explained.

"Is she your new partner?" Carter continued to stare at Mac who looked over at Deeks unsure of how he would answer the boy.

"No, buddy. Kensi will be back." Deeks responded hesitantly. Mac's cell phone rang and she went into the living room to take the call.

"Boy, Mac is really pretty!" He said as he watched her leave the room. "You guys have some really hot agents; I think I'll join NCIS when I grow up!"

Deeks genuinely smiled for the first time all day. If only he could advise him to stay away from those _hot_ agents. Deeks shrugged. Knowing the male sex, he probably wouldn't listen to him anyway.

"Carter! That's enough. Why don't you go into your room now and watch TV?" Darlene admonished her son. Carter rolled his eyes at Deeks and grabbed a banana before running out of the room.

"He seems to be handling this all in stride?" Deeks asked.

"He's a ten year old boy, Detective who finds himself in the middle of a great adventure," she responded. "As long as he gets his dad back I'm sure he will look back at this whole thing with fond memories."

"How about you?" Deeks asked. "I know these aren't the most luxurious of accommodations but if there is anything we can get you, let us know."

"Thanks. As much as Carter is enjoying this whole affair, I can't believe this is actually happening to us. I knew on the day we were married that becoming a Navy spouse was not going to be easy, but I never bargained for this," she voiced her apprehension. "My husband's Commanding Officer came to our house today and told us they believe my husband is definitely back in the States again. Why can't you find him?"

"We believe he's being held by whoever captured him in Afghanistan," Deeks explained. "We don't know what these people want with you or why they brought him back here in the first place, but we need to keep you someplace safe while we figure this all out," Deeks tried to ease her anxiety as Mac reentered the kitchen.

"That was Callen," Mac said as she slid the cell phone in her back pocket. "They had a lead on your man at the mosque today but they lost him. He's went missing."

"Damn," Deeks whispered and saw Darlene's look of concern. "He was a person of interest who we thought would lead to your husband whereabouts. I'm sure we'll find him." He didn't want to scare her with any more information than she needed to know.

"Mrs. Nunez, have you ever heard of the term Stockholm Syndrome?" Max asked. "It's a condition that has to do with how hostages react to their captives while they are being imprisoned."

"Luis may have mentioned it. He was a psych major at the Academy. Before he became a Seal he thought he would become a psychologist," she smiled warmly, missing her husband. "He loved getting into people's heads. He did a lot of research on hostage negotiation like when Iran captured the American hostages from the embassy. His final paper was on alternative measures that could have been taken to release the prisoners sooner from the ordeal. He was passionate about his theories so you can imagine I was surprised when he announced he was going to become a Seal instead of a shrink."

"Did he ever talk to you about what he would do if he became a hostage himself?" Mac asked.

"Not really, he knew I didn't want to hear about that part of his job and what could happen," she stated emphatically. She looked down and wrapped her hands together as if in prayer and brought them up to her face. "I mean, I knew it could happen. There was always that possibility. But I love him and when you are in love, you endure the worse life throws at you? Right?" She looked imploringly between Mac and Deeks, willing them to agree with her.

Deeks straightened up and abruptly walked over to the back door. "I'll be back," he stated and slammed the door behind him as he went out into the night.

"Is he ok?" Darlene asked Mac.

"I'm sure he's fine. Probably just need to get some fresh air," Mac assured the Lieutenant's wife. "We'll talk more later. Why don't you get some rest? I'm sure it's been a long day."

After Darlene left, Mac sat at the kitchen table for a few minutes watching Deeks pace back and forth on the porch. It was time to face their demons whether Marty Deeks liked it or not. Mac took a deep breath and pulled open the back door and stepped outside.

There was a fingernail moon in the distance casting an eerie glow throughout the valley. A cool breeze floated over the quiet neighborhood and only the occasional sound of a dog barking filled the air. Deeks was leaning up against the porch column that led down to the yard. He turned his head slightly to the side when he heard the door creak open but didn't acknowledge Mac as she sat down on the railing across from him. He folded his arms across his chest and looked up at the stars.

"You know, I can remember when my dad use to come home rip-roaring drunk; my mom would hide me outside behind the shed until he passed out and couldn't hurt us any longer," he stopped for a second before continuing his story. "I would be shaking so hard that sometimes she would try to take my mind off my fear by pointing out all of the constellations to me. Then together we would look for the North Star and she would always say,_ 'Marty, make a wish on that star and make it a good one!_' He smiled fondly remembering his mom and finally looked halfway over at Mac. "Do you want to know what I wished for?"

"What, Marty?" she whispered.

"I wished that my dad was dead so my mother could be happy again. But no matter how much he hurt her, she would never leave him. I didn't understand at the time why she stayed. Of course now I know those kinds of decisions aren't always as black and white as they seemed when I was younger. Yet the one thing she taught me, no matter how bad it got between them, was how to love despite all odds. And now it's the only way I know how to love."

"Oh, Marty ….." Mac sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"Why, Mac? That's all I want to know. Why did you leave me?" Deeks cried and faced her squarely head on for the first time that day.

Deeks' questions hit her straight in the gut and she wrapped her arms around her middle and bent over slightly as if to protect herself from any further pain. "You're right Marty, it's not always black and white, but I felt as if I had no other choice," Mac looked back at Deeks. The expression of misery on Deeks face broke her heart and she found it hard to continue. Deeks shook his head but Mac held up her hand.

"I know you don't understand but you would have begun to hate me for what happen to Coop slowly but surely….I just couldn't face that, not after all the love we shared," Mac said with conviction.

"You're dead wrong, Mac. I loved you!" Deeks exploded. "We would have gotten through that terrible night together. I needed you and you disappeared, without even a goodbye! Do you know what that did to me? I wanted to die!" He threw up his arms and turned sharply away but then turned back again pointing a finger at her. "Not only did I lose Coop but I lost you, the one person who meant everything in the world to me… everything!" Deeks then curled his hand into a fist and hit the column with such force that it shook the porch.

"Please believe me, it was for the best," she pleaded and winced as his fist hit the wood again.

"Really? For you maybe but not me," he spat back angrily and began to walk off the porch.

"For God's sake Marty, don't you get it?" She cried out in pain. "He knew! He figured it out!" Mac covered her face and began to weep quietly. Deeks stopped short. He didn't understand.

"What do you mean he knew?" he asked as he approached her again slowly this time.

Mac tried to wipe her eyes as she looked up at Deeks but she couldn't stop the stream of tears from flowing freely down her cheeks. She dreaded telling him the truth, but he had to know. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and began to speak with a shaky voice. "He called me after you left that night. It was terrible. He was so upset, yelling and demanding to know who I was with. I told him to meet me at your place and I would explain everything. That's when he put two and two together. He got real quiet and screamed, '_Tell me it's not Deeks_.' Oh dear God, Marty the next thing I heard was his scream and the sound of the two cars colliding. Every day I hear that crash replaying in my mind like a loop, over and over again. I hate myself and I hate what I did to him. It was all my fault. I killed him! How could you possibly still love me after knowing that?" Mac put her head in her hands again and sobbed uncontrollably.

Deeks stood there in shock and tried to make sense of her words. He finally understood the enormity of the grief that she too had carried around for the last three years. Being present at the time of Coop's death had broken her spirit and it had severed her bond with Deeks instantly. They had both carried the blame… separately, wanting to spare the other the hurt of losing their friend. His anger dissipated as he identified with her agony and pain so clearly now. She had suffered enough. He fell to one knee and gently pulled Mac's hands away from her face and sweetly kissed her palms. First one and then the other.

He slowly rested his head in her lap and she timidly reached down to lightly touch his hair and smooth it over his collar. She bent down to kiss his forehead and to ask for the forgiveness she so desperately needed from him.

"Please forgive me, Marty. I just couldn't face you. I knew you would hate me and I was devastated,' she whispered in his ear. "I thought if I ran far enough the pain couldn't find me," she tried to explain. "But it just got worse. I missed you so much and everywhere I went you were still there. I realized loosing you was my punishment for what I did and that I would have to live with that for the rest of my days. I never thought I would ever see you again."

"No, Mac. It was my fault, I should have told Coop from the start about us! We could have avoided all of this fucking pain," Deeks began to weep openly beside her. Finally, it was liberating just to get it out in the open and beg the entire universe for absolution.

"Ahh, Marty… we can play the blame game, you and I, but it's not going to change the fact that we both did something very terrible and we paid dearly for it." Deeks was silent for a few seconds and immediately decided he wasn't willing to live with the guilt any longer. It was killing them both, little by little. They needed to make amends and move forward. He lifted himself off his knees and sat next to her on the railing.

"My very perceptive partner told me today that we both suffered long enough and that Coop has probably already forgiven us. I don't think he would want us to be miserable any longer, do you?"

"You told Kensi what happen between us? She knows?" Mac asked in apprehension.

"I trust Kensi with everything, and she's right. Enough is enough."

"Coop may have forgiven us, but I don't know if I can forgive myself" she said still not sure.

"I think we need to try," he said as he looked into her eyes.

Mac wiped away a solitary tear that had come to rest on Deeks' cheek and then slowly nodded in agreement.

* * *

_Marty asked me to forgive myself and let the healing begin. I've lived with the guilt for so long it will be hard to remove this heavy mantel of blame from my shoulders. But if Marty is willing to try maybe I can too? Just to know he no longer blames me or hates me has been a release. Can we both find peace together? For the first time in a long time, my heart is lighter. Maybe there is a future without pain and misery. Could I have a future with Marty as well?_


	10. Chapter 10

**Venus Rising**

**By Phillydi**

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

_What a long, incredible day it's been. If you told me I would be looking into Mac's eyes tonight, holding her hand and opening my heart up again to this beautiful woman, I would have said you were crazy. After she poured out her story, I was astounded at the pain she had endured. How could I not forgive her? Coop's death had broken us both and changed us irrevocable. We both learned a very hard lesson and maybe, just maybe, it has made us better human beings. The trick will be how we move on from here? Kensi was right… it's time to heal and move forward. Coop would have wanted us to celebrate his life with love and joy instead of remembering those horrific final moments. _

_Yet there are all these feelings that keep swirling around like a hurricane inside my soul. I have waited so patiently for Kensi to get over her fear of commitment and open her heart to me. She has been my world these past three years…I would give everything to have her by my side. But now I find my feelings for Mac were always tucked safely inside my heart. After she left, I hid them away in a box and thought I threw the key away, but tonight that box exploded wide open again. What do I do with the love I have for both these women? Kensi has made it clear she is not ready yet but I'm too weak and overwhelmed to rush into a burning affair with Mac again. We all need time to think and heal. Maybe for now I should just enjoy this feeling of peace and see where love takes me. _

* * *

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in the world she walks into mine_,"_ Deeks did his best Bogie and smiled as he leaned his head up against the porch column. Mac smiled back and nervously folded her hands neatly in her lap.

"We'll always have Burbank, sweetheart," she giggled as she imitated Deeks, imitating Humphrey Bogart. She blushed as he continued to stare pleasantly at her. He couldn't believe she was back in his life.

"I guess we could have written our own version of _Casablanca_, huh?" he asked.

"Yes, but Ilsa and Rick have nothing on us!" Mac laughed thinking about the main characters in the movie. "They were star-crossed lovers, devastated by war, separation, heartbreak….seems like we hit all the main points in the film except for maybe the war part, huh?"

Deeks chuckled quietly, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Silence sat comfortably between the former lovers. They had cleared the air and their hearts. Now they could endeavor to carry on as friends and colleagues. Anything more would be too much, too soon and maybe no longer appropriate. Deeks remembered all the times he held Mac so preciously in his arms knowing he was the luckiest man alive. He had wanted to experience all those same feelings with Kensi, or at least he thought he did. Now he wasn't so sure what he wanted anymore.

"So, where do we go from here?" Mac interrupted his thoughts. "We can't start over but we need to start fresh."

"Baby steps, Mac," Deeks insisted. "It's been a long time and we were both changed pretty dramatically by what happen. Why don't we just get to know each other as friends again? Maybe for now that's enough."

_Boy, that sounded like a load of crap_, Deeks thought. Could he really just be friends knowing what waited for him on the other side of the door?

Mac shook her head in agreement. It felt good to have Deeks back in her life again too. She had cherished his companionship once, and even a future as friends would be better than nothing. But Mac wondered if his affections belonged to another. A man like Deeks wouldn't be on the market very long unless it was of his own choosing. She wanted him to be happy and hoped he shared his life currently with someone special.

"I hope you found love again?" Mac asked shyly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

He hesitated, not knowing how to answer her.

"Yes, I think so…Well, maybe….Hell, I don't know." Deeks shook his head with frustration. "She's having a hard time making up her mind. I'm still waiting, patiently I'm afraid," he said regretfully. "You?"

"No, I was too busy with school." The response probably came out faster than she wished. "Besides I wasn't ready to get involved again with someone else, so I decided to throw myself into my career instead. You know how it is…" she said wistfully.

Deeks nodded appreciating how lonely it had been for him since they separated as well. It was easy to become married to your career but it was also a convenient excuse when you're trying to avoid love. Was that what Kensi was doing, avoiding his love?

"So, you and Kensi and have been partners for a while now. How's that going?" Mac decided to dig further, she had a feeling there was more going on between the two agents than he was willing to let on.

"Are you asking professionally or personally?" he looked over with no expression on his face to give him away. It's as if she was reading his mind.

"How about professionally? That's a a perfectly innocent question for me to ask as your new Psych Ops?" she smiled.

"Well, professionally we make a really good team," Deeks stared out over the backyard, shaking his head up and down a number of times. "Yep, good team," he repeated not knowing what else to say.

"….and personally?" Mac pushed.

"That... is a long story. One we will have to save for another boring night," Deeks definitely wasn't going there and decided to change the subject. He pointed to the street. "I'm going to check on the other agents and see if they need…"

Suddenly, Deeks was interrupted by a large crash and a scream that came from inside the house.

Both agents immediately squatted low to the floor boards and pulled out their weapons in tandem. Deeks rushed to the back door, peered in and quickly turned the door knob and dashed through the kitchen. Mac mirrored his movements but Deeks pointed her to the kitchen doorway on the far side that led into the dining room and around to the front of the house. Deeks was standing at the doorway to the living room and could hear more sounds coming from inside. He held his hand up into the air for Mac to see.

"In three," Deeks mouthed the words quietly and counted down. When all three fingers were in the air they both raced into the ruckus form opposite ends of the room.

"LAPD!" he shouted and swiftly switched on the lights. At the same time, the agents who had been keeping vigil in the car also burst through the front doors, guns held high.

"Please don't hurt me!" a small voice cried out from a corner of the room.

"Carter!" Darlene Nunez ran into the room and pushed Deeks out of the way to get to her son. Carter was sprawled on the floor beneath an overturned side chair and a floor lamp that had crashed down round him and was now in a number of pieces.

Deeks looked quickly around and surveyed the living room. When he realized the threat was unfounded, he walked over to the other two NCIS agents.

"We got this," he assured them and whispered a few more words as they withdrew to their car. Deeks heaved a sigh of relief, tucked his weapon back into his waistband and walked over to Carter who was now hugging his mother tightly. He knelt down beside them and looked around at the damage.

"What happen here, buddy?" Deeks asked with concern. "Looks like you got into a fight with a chair and a lamp stand and they won." Mac smiled warmly watching the close connection that he had established with Carter. If anyone could calm the young boy, Deeks could.

"I'm sorry, Detective," Carter sobbed. "I was trying to call Zach, my friend. But I couldn't get a connection in my room so I came out here to see if the call would go through."

"Is that when you were attacked by the chair?" Deeks asked with a lop-sided grin. Carter looked into Deeks face and smiled back in embarrassment. His shaking had stopped as he realized Deeks wasn't angry at him and was actually cracking a joke.

"I didn't see where I was going in the dark," he explained as he looked to his mother for forgiveness.

"As long as you're ok, buddy...but you can't be calling your friends while you're here. That's the whole point of hiding out. No more calls unless you ask us first, got it?"Deeks tried to get Carter to understand their situation.

Carter nodded, "I just needed to tell him I couldn't play Adventure Quest with him tonight because my computer's got a virus or something. It wouldn't work, all these funny shapes are all over the screen."

Mac frowned immediately. "Maybe I can take a look at it Carter," she asked. "If I can't figure it out we have somebody back at the shop who is real good at problems like that, ok?"

"I'll go get it," he popped up and rushed down the hall.

"Thanks," Darlene said to both agents. "It's time for bed; I promise he won't be causing any further problems for you the rest of the evening."

"That's ok, no harm done, except possibly to this lamp," Deeks bent down to pick up the pieces of the broken stand and tried to match the ragged edges together. Mac muffled a chuckle and returned to the kitchen.

"So much for a quiet night," Deeks finally joined Mac in the kitchen after straightening up the living room and doing another security sweep of the house. Mac was seated at the kitchen table staring intently at Carter's lap top. Deeks stopped behind Mac to catch a glimpse of the screen.

"Find anything," he asked giving her a tired look.

"Definitely some sort of virus, but not sure what we're dealing with yet," Mac studied the program intently and then looked up at Deeks. "Something about this looks funny to me, like I've seen it somewhere before," she stopped short seeing the blank look on Deeks' face. "You look beat. Why don't you go get some rest?"

Deeks stifled a yawn and rolled his head around on top of his shoulders hoping to get some of the cricks out of his neck. "Yeah, don't mind if I do. Yell if you need me."

Mac gave Deeks a compassionate smile and watched him walk into the living room and throw himself down on the couch. His eyes closed quickly and his breathing became even and quiet as he let sleep take over his body. Mac was glad their talk returned some of his trust in her. She hoped she could restore the closeness they once shared…she realized now how much she missed him. Being with Deeks today made all those old feelings come alive again. Maybe one day…. _Baby steps, Mac_, she reminded herself.

* * *

Deeks awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee brewing in the next room. The sun was just beginning to break over the San Fernando Valley and a small stream of light through the blinds was just enough to send Deeks burying his head into the couch pillows again. But the coffee was calling his name and he slowly pulled himself off the cushions and padded his way into the kitchen.

Mac was in the same exact place he left her, staring at the computer screen but this time sipping some of the coffee she had just prepared.

"You should have waked me up," Deeks mumbled. "You didn't get any sleep at all." Deeks opened the cupboard looking for a mug.

"That's ok, you needed it," Mac said softly. "I'm use to pulling all-nighters when I had to cram for exams. I'll take a nap later."

"You still working on that virus?" Deeks asked as he took a sip of the warm liquid and felt all his senses come to attention at once. Ah, the miracle of caffeine!

"This is really interesting," she said pointing to the computer. "I need to get this back to Eric to see if he can confirm my theory, but I think this is some sort of embedded code. I can't figure out if someone hacked into the boy's game account or if it's outside the game."

"I bit of junior cyber terrorism?" He joked. "I mean how sinister could it be?"

'You're right….It may only need a good old fashion anti-virus program but there is a pattern here that keeps reminds me of something I've seen before," she said again stubbornly

"If anyone can find it, Eric can," Deeks said as he checked his watch. "Our relief should be here shortly. If you want, we can swing by your place so you can grab a shower and a change of clothes before we head back to the Mission?"

"Sounds good," Mac closed the laptop and began to gather her belongings. An hour later, after saying goodbye to the Nunez family and debriefing their replacements, they pulled up in front of Mac's small bungalow in Studio City.

"I can't believe you held on to this place," Deeks said as he entered the front door. A rush of memories came flooding back overwhelming his senses, and stopping him dead on the spot. He was silent and deep in thought. He could remember every glorious hour they spent getting to know each other in this house, cooking their favorite meals, watching television, talking late into the night, making love.

"There were good memories here and not so good ones, I know. But I just couldn't sell it." Mac threw her back pack and keys on the hall table. "I put all my personal stuff in the attic and hung a rental sign out front. I always hoped I could come back to LA one day."

Deeks was afraid to tell her how many times he came looking for her at the house the weeks after Coop's death. "I drove by a few months after you left…but there was an older man and woman coming out the front door and I just assumed you sold it out right." Deeks admitted awkwardly.

Mac looked at Deeks and could see he was reliving some of the hard times he spent after she left. She was so overcome with grief for Coop, she didn't realize how much Marty has suffered as well. The guilt hit her hard again. A tense silence settled in the room.

"I'm sorry, Marty," she said. "We probably shouldn't have come back here."

"No, I'm fine. We're moving forward, right?" he looked at her over his shoulder and smiled trying to assure her that he was fine.

"Right, I'll just freshen up. I won't take too long," she smiled quickly and walked down the hall.

Deeks nodded and looked around the familiar room. Not much had changed except for a new flat screen TV and a few colorful throw rugs. Max always had shelves of books in every room, and they were packed once again to the brim with even more stuffed in nooks and corners of the room. Deeks walked over to one of the book cases and scanned the array of family pictures. He recognized her parents and her French grandmother in Nice and a few other relatives whose names he couldn't remember. He had hoped one day he would get a chance to meet them all, especially her dad. He picked up the picture of the retired Boston cop in full dress uniform. Deeks was sure he would have had a lot in common with the elder McGlone, unlike his own father. He sighed and placed the frame back on the shelf.

He was about to sit down and wait for Mac, when his eye caught a familiar picture over the mantel. He had forgotten all about the old oil painting. It was from the final scenes of _Giselle_, the ballet they had seen together on that clandestine night. Giselle's spirit rises from the grave as her lover begs for forgiveness. Funny how the irony of the play was no longer lost on Deeks after seeing this picture again. He had found the oil on canvas in an antique shop about a month after he had started seeing Mac. She was so delighted after unwrapping the painting that she hung it right away over the mantel.

Deeks felt Mac walk up behind him but he didn't turn around. "That painting was the only thing I took with me when I left," she said sadly. "It went everywhere as a reminder of our love." He felt an incredible surge of emotion that surprised even him and couldn't face her for fear he would quickly pull Mac into an embrace that would go on forever.

"I found these when I was unpacking last week," Mac said breaking the awkward silence. "I was going to give them to the Salvation Army but something stopped me." Deeks turned and looked down at the pile of clothes that she held in her hands. He recognized the jeans and t-shirt they kept hidden in her closet in case he needed a change of clothes.

"I thought you might want them back," she said as she held them in front of her. Deeks reached out to take the clothing but when their hands touched, his fingers tingled and his body shook with desire. Without warning, he leaned down to take her lips and the clothes dropped to the floor. His hands cupped her face delicately and he gloried in the familiar taste and feel of her mouth.

The gates of heaven had opened again for him.

He went to envelope her in that forbidden embrace, when his phone started to buzz. He stepped back for a second, startled but continuing to stare into Mac's eyes. He was unable to break the connection between them and punched the answer button without looking at the phone.

"Deeks," he said softly, still staring at Mac.

"Deeks is that you? Where are you?" a familiar voice came from the other end of the line and tore him away from his dream-like state. He stepped back from Mac and finally looked away.

"Kensi?" he sputtered and couldn't get another word out of his mouth.

"Who do you think it is?" Kensi said in irritation. "Are you alright? You don't sound like yourself," she prodded.

"I'm fine," he said but was clearly shaken after what just happen between him and Mac seconds before.

"Are you headed into the Mission now?" Kensi asked. Deeks turned to Mac who was also surprised by their brief encounter but smiled hesitantly back at him.

"We'll be there...ah... within the hour," he said and ended the call abruptly. If he revealed anymore he was afraid his voice would give away his emotions. As it was, he was sure Kensi was intuitive enough to read between the lines.

"I think we better get back to the Mission," he stuttered.

"Kensi is the woman in your life now, isn't she?" Mac asked begging for the truth.

Deeks threw his head back and stuffed his hands in his back pockets, unable to look at her.

"You can tell me, Marty."

He couldn't speak.

"That's ok. I promise, I won't get in your way," she said sincerely. "I'll meet you at the car, just give me a few minutes."

Deeks was still trebling as he walked to the door and looked back at Mac in confusion.

Love was taking him down a two way street this time and his whole world had just changed….again.

* * *

_Well I got my answer. It was harder to take than I had originally feared. But Marty deserves love and from a good woman. I don't know Kensi but I'm sure she has everything he needs. I'd like to think he has pretty good taste in woman because I use to be her once. I promised him I wouldn't get in the way, and I will keep that promise. But if he comes back to me of his own accord, I won't turn him away either. I saw his face as he looked at me just now. The ball is in his court and my heart is wide open._

* * *

Hello Densi lovers! I heard you loud and clear...I know you want a Densi ending but I have nothing to do with what's in Deeks' heart...so why don't we let Deeks make up his own mind and see which one he chooses?:) Thanks so much for the positive reviews and the wonderful motivation I receive from you all!


	11. Chapter 11

**Venus Rising**

**By Phillydi**

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

_What's wrong with him? He barely said two words to me when I called him. No funny, stupid remarks. No freakin' good morning! What the hell happen last night? If this woman is messing with his head, I'll kill her! Oh, God maybe its worse and they were in bed together and I interrupted something? I think I'm going to throw up. This is my fault, I told him to make nice and try to bury the past. Now they probably jumped right into the present and forward into the future! This is not good...this is definitely not good. What the hell was I thinking? How long did I think he was going to keep putting up with my resistance? Loving him was never the problem. I fell in love with Deeks the first minute I laid eyes on all that hair. Oh, Marty, it was never your love that I feared...it was losing it! So my self-prophecy has come true. I should have seen this coming...who's the idiot now, Blye? _

* * *

Kensi sat in her car outside the Mission. She was on a sugar rush and her mind was racing at full speed. She had just finished off two chocolate cream donuts and a mocha latte. The unhappy agent was frozen to her seat but knew she had to go inside eventually. Kensi's stomach was churning but not because of all the food she had just stuffed down her throat. She was more afraid of what would be waiting inside. _I __really __shouldn't have eaten that last donut_, she moaned. Gathering every last bit of courage she had inside her, she grabbed the door handle and pushed her way out the car door. _Time to face the music_.

Kensi entered the Mission through the gym and tried to remain inconspicuous as she quietly moved down the hall.

"Hey, Kens," Callen called out as she walked by the weapons room. "Feeling any better today?"

She jerked to a stop and returned back to give her team leader a tired smile.

"Hi," she responded sheepishly, standing by the entrance. "Much better, thanks. Anything happen after I left yesterday?"

"No, it was quiet," he said. "We have our debriefing in Ops soon though."

"Right," she started to leave but turned back to look at Callen. "Did Deeks and Mac return from the safe house?"

"Yeah, I think I saw them together in the Bullpen," Callen said.

_Great. _

"Callen, can I ask you something?" she asked tentatively and slowly walked up to the table.

"Sure, what's up?" Callen could tell his junior agent had something weighing on her mind. He stopped cleaning his weapon and placed it gently in front of him to give Kensi his full attention.

"What do you think of Mac? I mean, did we really need another Psych Ops? Nate will come back one day, right?" she asked in one long stream of consciousness.

Callen gave Kensi a long thoughtful gaze before speaking. "What's this really all about, Kens?" Callen asked indulgently.

She looked away perplexed, not knowing how to explain to Callen her fears. "Nothing, forget I even mentioned it," she said and began to walk away.

"Kensi," he called out to her. "You know I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thanks," she said appreciating Callen's gesture. Kensi wasn't sure if anyone could understand what she was feeling right now. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed towards the Bullpen.

When she arrived at her desk, the first floor of the Mission was quiet. She suddenly heard a giggle coming from behind their work space at the coffee stand. Kensi hid behind one of the columns to secretly listen in on the private conversation.

"God, do you remember when we got in the middle of that bar brawl!" Deeks was talking animatedly and trying to catch his breath between sentences. "I mean, I thought we were toast!" Deeks laughed.

"Yes! Then we had to pull Coop away from that shite with the bloody pool cue!" Mac added in her North London lilt, smiling widely at Deeks. They were both pleasantly lost in their memories.

"We had some good times, yeah?" Deeks reminisced and looked down at Mac with fondness.

"Yes, we did," she added and stared back at Deeks warmly.

When Kensi revealed herself from behind the column Mac had her hand on Deeks' arm.

"Kensi!" Deeks said with more than a little surprise in his voice. "Didn't know you were here," he said nervously, taking a step back from Mac.

"Obviously," Kensi looked between the two without breaking a smile. "I'm going up to the briefing." She turned abruptly and walked away.

"Kensi…hey! Wait up," Deeks called out and ran after her as she climbed the stairs to Ops. She didn't stop for Deeks or turn around to look at him.

"Are you alright?" He caught up with her at the top of the stairs and grabbed her upper arm.

"I don't know… am I?" Kensi threw Deeks words back at him and sharply twisted her arm away to break the connection.

"Ok, I deserved that," Deeks admitted shamefully.

"Look, Deeks I'm fine and it looks like you're fine too," she snorted and threw her hands up in the air. "Hey! We're all fine!"

Mission employees tip toed gingerly around the partners.

"But I did what you suggested," Deeks tried to explain. "Mac and I talked it out and we're trying to move forward. That's what you told me to do, wasn't it?"

"Well bully for you and Mary Poppins down there! I hope you'll be very happy together!" Kensi lowered her voice quickly when she suddenly noticed people were staring at her. She turned sharply on her heels and fled from Deeks into Ops.

Deeks fumed. He threw his head back and closed his eyes in anger. He knew how intuitive his partner could be. There was no hiding the fact that he still had feelings for Mac but he also knew Kensi suspected more went on last night than just a friendly talk to clear the air. Kensi may not be ready for a relationship, but she also didn't like it when other women got too close to him either. He'd witnessed her jealously first hand over the years and never understood it. Couldn't she see that he was always there just waiting for her to make the first move? It was always Kensi he wanted.

_This time she may have waited too long_, he steamed.

Mac observed the altercation from below and waited for Kensi to leave before walking up to the top of the stairs. She stopped hesitantly next to Deeks who was unaware she was standing beside him until she gently touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Mac looked at Deeks in sympathy.

"Don't be," Deeks said in exasperation and shook his head. "Let's go in."

The team was finally gathered together in Ops and waiting for Hetty. Last night's Lakers' stats were displayed prominently on the large center screen. Video footage of Coby Bryant played alongside the statistics.

"I told you he went 5 for 18 last night," Callen pointed out to Sam. "He's just not hitting those outside three pointers anymore."

"He'll come around, he always does," Sam insisted.

"I don't know," Callen sighed. "It may be time to hang up the jersey."

"You're crazy," Sam dismissed Callen's fears with a wave of his hand. "You'd throw the baby out with the dish water, wouldn't you?"

"That's bath water, partner," Callen teased. "And yes, I would if it wasn't hitting the three pointers any longer."

Callen wiped the ESPN statistics off the screen and turned his attention back to business. He looked around the room to take a collective group temperature. Mac was talking quietly with Eric showing him the virus she found on Carter's laptop. Nell stood on tippy toes looking over both their shoulders to get a glimpse of the cryptic codes. Kensi and Deeks were at opposite ends of the center table ignoring each other and brooding. _ Ok, this is a new development_, Callen thought. He was about to ask Deeks about their night at the safe house when the Ops doors opened and Hetty entered with Owen Granger.

_Just what we need… more trouble,_ Callen thought and looked over at his partner who was equally annoyed to see their unwelcomed guest.

"Good morning, everyone," Hetty called out. "Assistant Deputy Director Granger has asked to be briefed on our progress with this case. Oh, and before we start…Owen, let me introduce you to our new Operation Psychologist, Dr. Macaela McGlone."

"Doctor," Granger nodded to Mac. "I look forward to our little chat later today."

"Chat?" Mac looked over at Hetty who just smiled and nodded her head. "Of course," Mac conceded. "I'm at your convenience."

"Mr. Callen, can you bring us up to date so far?" Hetty asked.

"Anything in particular that brings you out here today?" Callen looked over at Granger suspiciously. "Or is this just a social visit?"

"If you must know, Agent Callen, the CIA is wondering why we are sticking our noses in the Watkins case," Granger responded in his tight drawl. "Unless we have a good reason they want us to back off."

"Really?" Callen seemed to find Granger's response funny. "Since when do we play nice with the CIA?"

"When we have to, Mr. Callen… when we have to." Granger glared darkly back at Callen. "Please proceed," he ordered.

Callen raised his eyebrows at Granger and reluctantly began to review the highlights and then added the latest developments.

"Yesterday, Sam and I went in search of this man, Arrif Hassan," he said and pointed to the image on the screen. "As you know, Deeks identified him as the man he bumped into yesterday at the mosque. If he was one of the chieftain's henchmen in Afghanistan, we need to know what he is doing here in this country and did Nunez come with him?"

"We checked immigration and Hassan is now listed as being in the country on a temporary visa." Eric added.

Nell stepped next to her colleague. "Nunez must have come through on a fake passport, because there is no record of him entering through immigration under the name of Nunez," she said.

"We made a visit to his last known address in East LA but it was little more than a flop house," Callen continued. "Forensics is going through the garbage that was left behind to see if we can gather any intelligence. I should have a report later today."

"No one at the mosque is aware of Hassan," Sam said. "We showed his picture to some of the members of the congregation and although he looked familiar, no one could give us any more information than what we already have."

"I think our next move is to visit our other unhappy fellow American, Carlton Fisher," Callen advised. "He may know a little more about Watkins and where Hassan is hiding out."

"Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye track down Mr. Fisher," Hetty ordered. "See what you can find out from him."

"Hetty, I have a suggestion," Mac interceded. "I know it was important to get Mrs. Nunez and her son out of harms ways, but so far the only interaction we have had with these men is when they have tried to approach the house. I think we should make it look like the family is still living there and force them to come to us again."

"Why should they do that?" Kensi challenged. "They already know the house is being watched and manned by federal agents," she raised her head in defiance not at all convinced of Mac's analysis.

"If they need to get to the family, they'll be back," Mac insisted. "I guarantee you they will find a way."

Hetty nodded her head in contemplation. "We'll test your hypothesis, Doctor," she said. "Mr. Callen, you and Mr. Hanna will spend the night at the Nunez home. Let's see what happens."

Callen shook his head in agreement. "If we're going to make this believable, I think we should have a female agent inside dressed like the Lieutenant's wife."

"Doctor, with a wig and the right clothes you could be an appropriate candidate," Hetty said looking at the Nunez family portrait.

"Of course," Mac said.

"Speaking of the Lieutenant's family how was your night at the safe house?" Hetty turned to Deeks and Mac.

Deeks hesitated for a second trying to filter his personal thoughts and feelings about the night from his professional ones. "It was quiet for the most part, nothing to report." Deeks looked at Mac.

"Dr. McGlone?"

"Actually something Darleen Nunez revealed about her husband has been rolling around in my mind all night," Mac said trying to remember their conversation. "He was a Psych major at the Academy and specialized in hostage negotiation. He would be aware of how Stockholm syndrome works and how hostages respond to their captors. If he is cooperating with them, I don't think it's because of the syndrome, I think it's despite it."

"You mean he's pretending?" Granger asked.

"Exactly, he's identifying with their mission and plight and has taken an active role in assisting them on purpose to get what he wants…which of course is his freedom," Mac said certain of her assessment.

"Interesting theory," Granger said. "The question now is…. what's his next move?"

"I guess we'll need to play this out one step at a time," Callen said.

"Agreed, Mr. Callen," Hetty agreed. "You have your orders. Good luck, everyone."

As the team dispersed and headed to their respective assignments, Granger pulled Hetty aside privately. "Are you aware of the history between McGlone and Deeks?" he asked.

"Of course. I know they worked together at the Department," Hetty responded irritably, not sure where Granger was headed with his questioning.

"My contact at the LAPD told me there was a rumor going around that the two were involved romantically but it ended after Deeks' partner was killed," Granger said.

Hetty knew he was questioning her choice of personnel rather than the relationship between Deeks and Mac. She wasn't surprised there had been a romantic liaison between the two. It was obvious their problems had to do with an affair of the heart. She was just furious that Granger knew more than she did right now and delighted in her predicament.

"So what's your point, Owen?" Hetty asked in agitation.

"My point, Henrietta, is this may come to bite you in the ass later, if you are not careful," Granger gloated.

"Then I'll be sure to keep my ass well protected, won't I?" she snapped and walked out of Ops. Granger smirked as she left him standing alone in the middle of the room.

* * *

Kensi was nowhere to be found after she left Ops. She had raced out well ahead of Deeks and he figured she needed some time alone to gather her thoughts before they faced each other again. He checked his notes on Fisher and found the man's last known address had been downloaded to their cell phones. When he realized Kensi wasn't returning to the building, Deeks left the Mission in search of his illusive partner.

Kensi was sitting impatiently in the driver's side of the SUV, still fuming over her reaction to seeing Deeks and Mac together this morning. She couldn't believe how she just snapped. It was clear her feelings for Deeks had jumped to the next level but she really didn't know how to handle them. This was new territory for her and she was completely out of control. Kensi covered her face with her hands and realized she was shaking in the revelation. She was definitely, unabashedly and totally in love with this man. Mac was the most serious competition she had ever faced up until now and she was losing Deeks for good all because she was afraid to make the next move.

She was startled out of her reverie when the passenger side door handle clicked open and Deeks entered and threw himself into the seat.

"Jeez, it's like a Dunkin Donuts dumpster inside here!" he snarled, amazed at all the wrappers and empty coffee containers strewed around the front seat. He sat on a few crinkled donut wrappers and roughly brushed the trash off his jeans along with the crumbs.

They sat there together in silence staring out the windshield for a few seconds when suddenly Deeks grabbed the door handle again. He jumped out of the car and walked around quickly to Kensi's side.

"Come on, get out. I'm driving," he ordered as he pulled open the car door.

"Great! Where are you taking me now….another blast from your past?" Kensi spat out in anger.

"Exactly," Deeks said flippantly "…and yours too!" Kensi didn't move.

He motioned her to exit the car again. "I swear to God, don't make me drag you out of there, Kensi Marie Blye! Because it won't be pretty!" He yelled at her impatiently.

Kensi rolled her eyes and banged on the steering wheel before she pulled herself out of the seat. She threw her hands up in anger, warning Deeks not to touch her and begrudgingly plodded over to the other side. When they were both settled back inside the car again, Deeks pulled out of the lot. Kensi sat with her arms folded tightly across her chest. She didn't know who she was angrier at right now….Deeks or herself!

It didn't take long to reach his intended destination. Within five minutes they were driving down the tiny back streets of Venice Beach until he pulled up in front of an old brick building and turned the ignition off.

"Remember this place?" Deeks asked. Kensi looked up at the sign and her heart began racing erratically. _The Blood and Guts Warriors Gym._ This was where she had first met Deeks. The bitter sweet memories came flooding back to her as if it was yesterday. They were both undercover and totally suspicious of each other's motives from the get go. She purred as she indulgently remembered the bad-tempered Jason Wilder. His smoldering stare knocked her off her feet, but her sixth sense kept her wary of the wannabe warrior. Her instincts were right on. Fortunately Wilder turned out to be one of the good guys and went on to partner with NCIS and solve the case of the murdered Marine. Deeks had been on Hetty's radar for a long time and she would eventually recruit him to become their newly appointed LAPD liaison. It changed her life…and her whole reason for being.

"Why have your brought us here, Deeks?" Kensi moaned; the rims of her dark eyes pooled with tears.

"That intersection I took you to yesterday will always be the place of one of the worst memories of my life. But this is the place of one of my happiest. It's where I met you," Deeks looked over at Kensi to gage her reaction. She bit down hard on her bottom lip and couldn't speak or look at him. She had to stay angry or she would surely cry.

"That was the luckiest day of my life, and I smile every time I remember you standing up there being all sassy and bad ass," he teased, pointed up to the second floor with the wide panes of glass. "You had on that sexy little tank top, with your bag slung tight across your chest. I knew you were trouble the moment I laid eyes on you."

"Huh! I thought the luckiest day in your life was when you met Mac," she spit out tersely. Deeks sighed and picked his next words carefully.

"Mac and I had an intense relationship from the start and as much as I loved her we didn't have a chance to enjoy it. We were always looking over our shoulders. Luck was never on our side." He stopped to brush Kense's cheek with the back of his hand, wiping away a tear that had spilled down her face. "But with you, it was an open book from the very beginning. I've never had to hide my feelings. I didn't advertise it either but I'm sure it was always pretty evident to everyone around us how I felt. It's so liberating to be able to let the world know how much I loved you."

Kensi laid her head back on the seat and shook her head. "I don't know what to say, Deeks."

"Then just listen," he said softly and stopped for a few seconds to gather his thoughts. "If I've learned anything in this life it's that we get to experience all kinds of things…. love, joy, pain, loss. It's all a part of the human condition and if you shut down every time you get hurt you may keep out the bad stuff but you also prevent the good from coming in too."

"But it's who I am Deeks!" she cried out. "I have always connected all of my desires in life with loss," she tried to explain.

"Kensi, life is about living…not preventing pain!" Deeks reached out again to touch her. "When you work through all the pain that life dishes out, then you can finally have the life you deserve."

"I want to Deeks, but I can't," she whispered shaking in fear. "I'm so scared." Deeks reached out to put his arms around her, sad that she was afraid to love again.

"Lord knows I've tried to help you but you've been shut down for so long Kensi. I don't know what to say to you anymore. Just please don't push me away," he pleaded feeling so hopeless.

Kensi's whole body hurt. She wanted to scream that she loved him from the top of her lungs and beg him to show her how to wipe the pain from her life…but she felt so crippled…broken.

"Do you still care for Mac?" she shuddered.

Deeks pulled away from her and stared out the window. He didn't want to hurt her anymore but she wasn't giving him much of a choice. His silence was deafening to her.

"I guess that about says it all," she sighed.

Deeks looked away in anger. _Why won't she fight for us, damn it! How can she be so damaged and walk away from my love so easily?_ Deeks was distraught knowing that for Kensi, love would always be the enemy.

Deeks had no more words to say and gave into defeat. The two agents didn't speak as he pulled away from the gym and drove sullenly through the streets of Los Angeles. Kensi did what she did best and closed ranks around her pain and fear, protecting the familiar feelings she has lived with for so long. Kensi was a survivor even though it felt fucking awful. She was use to the hurt and knew she wasn't worthy of his love. On the other hand, Deeks was stone cold empty wishing he could go to Mac with an open and free heart but leaving Kensi behind will surely cause him to shatter into a million pieces.

Their SUV pulled up in front of the tenement apartments where Fisher lived and the two agents walked cautiously up to the dilapidated building. Deeks knocked on the front door and then rang the bell. Although Kensi wasn't at her peak right now she could sense something was definitely wrong. She slowly turned the front door knob and found it unlocked. She looked at Deeks and he nodded at her to take the lead.

"Mr. Fisher?" She called out and drew her weapon from behind her back. Deeks did the same and walked guardedly behind her.

"I got the kitchen, you take the bedrooms," he whispered and they quietly separated. Kensi methodically opened every door and cautiously peered into each room until she came to the last one. The door was wide open and she hesitated before entering. The surroundings looked clean of foul play and she was about to leave when she noticed it had an attached bathroom. She entered the small room and automatically gagged from the smell.

"Deeks!" she shouted and covered her nose with her hand. "Get in here."

Deeks came running from the kitchen and stopped short behind Kensi. Carlton Fisher's body rested at the bottom of the bath tub. His throat had been cut from side to side.

"Shit," Deeks groaned. "….and I thought this day couldn't get any worse."

* * *

_I'm just a man….an ordinary guy. If you cut me, I bleed. If you break me in two, I'm down for the count. And…. if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. You see I know what it's like to love two beautiful women with every fiber of my soul. Yet, it was never enough. Fate intervened on both love stories and here I sit at the end of the day with nothing to show. Where do I go from here? I have absolutely no idea. Time to gather the wagons and sound the retreat. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Venus Rising**

**By Phillydi**

**Chapter Twelve**

_I'm supposed to be the one everyone goes to when they are having problems in their lives. But who do they go to when __**I am**__ the problem? Kensi is troubled for some reason and Marty is caught in the middle. They are partners who need each other's strength in stressful times…yet here I am, like a piece of kryptonite zapping every bit of energy that nourishes the closeness they have between each other. But this isn't entirely my fault. There's something else stopping them from sharing the type of love that Marty and I once had. I wish I could help, but I don't think Kensi would take too kindly to any offer of assistance from me. Besides, why should I? Marty still has a choice to make and with a little luck we may still have that second chance at a real life together. _

* * *

Kensi was twirling her pen nervously back and forth between her fingers, glancing occasionally over at Deeks as he worked quietly at his desk. She hated filling out these incident forms and had gotten as far as typing out Fisher's name in the top box and stopped which was over ten minutes ago. She just couldn't concentrate. Deeks' loving and emotional plea had stripped her of the ability to think. She was lost in his words. He just wanted to be loved…by her. What type of person would deny this man love? She stared at him again, amazed that he would take her on…broken pieces and all.

"You know that report will get done a lot faster if you stare at the computer screen instead of at me," Deeks kept typing without looking up at Kensi.

"Who says I'm looking at you?" Kensi mumbled.

"Ah, huh," Deeks said and kept right on typing then stopped abruptly. "If you have something to say something Kensi, just say it," he looked over with a piercing glare.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kensi hid back behind her screen pretending to finish her report.

"That's what I thought," Deeks said without any emotion. Two could play this game.

Deeks rubbed his hand across his face and sighed. He was so emotionally drained and for once it had nothing to do with the job.

Kensi and Deeks had been eerily quiet as they drove back to the Mission. Finding Fisher murdered in his apartment was another dead end in this case and the team was getting nowhere fast trying to locate the missing Lieutenant. It didn't help matters that the partners were also at personal odds which put their future together on the team in jeopardy. Deeks finally pushed the envelope right off the table and Kensi wasn't able to give an answer or response of any kind.

With or without Kensi's love, Deeks was positive he didn't want to return to his undercover work with the LAPD. He loved being a cop but he wanted to be a cop here, with these people, doing what he did best. They would have to work out some sort of truce, and then he would have to find a way to live with it.

Kensi tried to pull her attention away from Deeks when all of a sudden a shadow fell over her desk, blocking the natural sun light from above. She looked up to see Granger staring down at her. His lips were pursed, pulling his tiny eyes into straight slits.

"I need those reports on my desk immediately," he ordered. "Also, the CIA agent whose partner was killed in Afghanistan wants to talk to all of you."

"Why?" Deeks demanded. "What could he possibly want with us?"

Granger turned his head slowly around to face Deeks. "It's on a need to know basis, Deeks and right now… you don't need to know."

"Fine, ok," Deeks laughed sarcastically and leaned back into his chair glaring at Granger. "I'll be sure to tell the Lieutenant's ten year old son that we can't tell him where his daddy is right now because it's on a need to know basis." Kensi looked down at her desk and snorted softly at Deeks audacity. No one was messing with her partner today.

Granger began to answer him but then smiled smugly and sauntered away, leaving the detective's comments hanging in the air.

Deeks shook his head in disgust. "Mother f….." He was about to finish one of his favorite vulgarities that he relegated to his dealings with Granger but was interrupted by Eric calling out from the second floor landing.

"Hey you guys! Get up here," he called out. "We got our first good lead on Nunez!"

The couple raced up to Ops leaving a trail of startled agency employees in their wake. The room was buzzing with nervous energy. Every screen around the room displayed a different piece of evidence regarding the case. Callen was talking to the forensic Navy lab technician on the center screen as Hetty entered the room with Granger.

"We can confirm Lieutenant's Nunez's fingerprints were found on different surfaces around the apartment," the Chief Petty Officer reported. "But I think this will also give you the most conclusive evidence you were searching for." The man held up a bent dog tag with Nunez's name stamped across the reticular piece of metal along with his other personal statistics underneath. "We found this buried underneath the couch pillows."

"He left that behind to let us know he was there," Sam said with conviction.

"Oh, he was there alright," Callen mused. "Thanks for your help, Chief," Callen addressed the sailor and the connection ended. He turned around to face Hetty and Granger.

"So now we have a link to Watkins and Nunez," Hetty smiled sweetly to Granger. "Will this be enough to get the CIA off our backs?"

"This has just become a join mission, Henrietta," Granger responded. "I'll let them know we will meet with their agent tomorrow." Granger walked out of Ops without expecting a reply.

"You heard him, Mr. Callen," Hetty said. "We need to get our ducks in a row before we meet with the CIA."

"Well, it's going to be a short row because all we have is a dead dissident and conclusive evidence that Nunez is back in the States," Callen propped his hands on his hips. "We can only assume it has something to do with Watkins. Other than that we're at a dead end."

"That's it! Whoo Hoo!" Eric Beale's voice filled Ops and every member of the team turned in his direction. The technician's eyes were animated and fired up like a pinball machine as Mac leaned down to peer intently over his shoulder.

"Don't move, Eric!" Mac ordered and then quickly reached one arm over his shoulder and hit five keys on the board in succession.

"What did you do….?" Eric shouted in concern but then stared at the screen in amazement. "Oh my God, I didn't see it! I was so excited about uncovering the entire code I didn't see the auto-destruct program that was activated once we entered the program. Nice catch!" Mac smiled at Eric's appreciative praise.

"Can someone please tell us what is going on?" Hetty demanded.

"You are looking at the first statement displayed on the famous Kryptos sculpture at CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia," Mac straightened up and glanced over at the center screen in Ops. A block of randomly placed letters filled the huge wall.

"And we would have lost the whole thing if Mac hadn't caught the countdown clock on the screen." Eric bubbled with exhilaration clasping his hands together. For a tech mole, it doesn't get much more exciting than this.

"Can we have the cliff notes version, please," Hetty asked and stepped closer to the wall, her eyes ran analytically up and down the screen trying to make sense of the grid in front of her.

"As you know, Eric, Nell and I have been working on the strange coding that Carter Nunez found while trying to play his interactive computer game," Mac walked up closer to the screen to stand next to Hetty. "We weren't convinced it was just a form of malware or a computer contaminant brought in from some outside source. Something was bugging me since I first had a chance to study it last night but I couldn't figure out why those combinations of letters looked so familiar."

"Eric made the suggestion to take the letters floating over the game parameters and put it in the box you see there. That's when we all realized what we found," Nell looked over proudly at her colleague.

"What the hell are we looking at, Mac?" Callen asked. Like his colleagues, he had been wide-eyed and straining at the screen trying to make sense of the series of letters.

"I believe someone, most likely the Lieutenant is trying to get a message to us," Mac spoke calmly and linked her arms across her chest. "You don't program a child's game with the first statement of the Kryptos sculpture without a reason."

"But how can we be sure it's the Lieutenant?" Deeks wondered out loud. "Wait, hold on a second." Deeks pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. "Darlene, it's Detective Deeks, can I please speak to Carter?" he asked and after a few seconds he heard the child's voice call his name. "Hey buddy! How you doing? Good! Listen, did you and your dad ever play around with secret codes? Great! Did he ever talk to you about the Kryptos code? Yeah, that's right, the one at the CIA building. You did? Ok, terrific! I'll see you tonight. Thanks, buddy." Deeks smiled broadly and held open his hands. "There you go!"

"I guess you got your answer as to who sent it," Kensi said.

"He was obviously hoping his son would show it to the right people," Eric said as he displayed a picture on the screen of the impressive work of art situated in the back courtyard of the CIA headquarters. "He also knew enough to booby trap his message so it wouldn't get into the wrong hands."

"What's so special about this code?" Sam asked trying to find the missing link.

"The creator, James Sanborn said he wanted the sculpture to be an acknowledgment to the nature of secrecy and the elusiveness of truth," Mac explained. "There were three statements. The first two have been broken but the third one remains elusive after all these years. It's quite fascinating really." Mac then pointed back to the first screen. "This first statement was the one we found on Carter's computer and it uses a cipher where each letter corresponds to another. When the code was broken back in the late nineties the message was solved by using the alphabetic rows of letters you see on the right." Mac walked over to the right side of the screen which displayed the cipher. "For example, X substitutes for the letter D. R substitutes of O and so on and so forth."

"Please tell me there's a message in all that gobbledygook!" Sam asked, waving his hand in the air. Callen looked over at his partner with amusement. Leave it to Sam to get to the crux of the matter.

"Right now it looks like he just reproduced, verbatim, the original passage from statement one," Eric seemed perplexed as he revealed the encrypted words up on the screen.

**_BETWEEN SUBTLE SHADING AND THE ABSENCE OF LIGHT LIES THE NUANCE OF ILLUSION_**

"Wait! There is a difference!" Eric squinted up at the screen. "Nunez spelled the word illusion correctly this time. In the original version, Sanborn spelled it _incorrectly_ to throw all the cryptologists off when they were trying to decipher it."

"You're right, Eric!" Mac stared thoughtfully at the statement. "Maybe it's all an illusion? Hmmm…. I think Nunez may be trying to tell us that the truth is out there and someone is going through a lot of effort to keep it hidden," Mac theorized.

"But who, Doctor?" Hetty contemplated. "This is not an episode of the _X-Files._"

"What if we use that cypher and try to get a message back to Nunez?" Callen suggested. "He obviously knows how to use it or he wouldn't have sent it."

"I could put a text together and encrypt it back into the game software and see if he takes the bait," Eric said excitedly, his mind was racing in a thousand directions already composing the programing language he would use.

"Keep it simple, Mr Beale. We don't want to give our hand away just yet." Hetty instructed. "Good work, all. I believe you earned your salaries this week."

Eric smiled over at Mac and raised his hand in a high-five salute. She smiled genuinely at her enthusiastic teammate and slapped his hand back in return. Both Eric and Nell were a delight to work with and had effortlessly accepted her as part of their team. She only hoped that the rest of her colleagues would eventually come around and make her feel as welcome as they did.

"This day isn't over yet ladies and gentlemen," Hetty announced as she walked out of Ops. "We still have a lot more work to do."

Callen approached Mac. "Nice job. So how did you know about the Kryptos codes?"

"My dad was an amateur cryptologist and loved puzzles. He tried his hand at the Kryptos code back when I was a kid and got me hooked into it for a bit. I tried to help him solve it but it was better left to the pros in the end."

"So you're a geek now, too? You certainly have a new fan." He pointed his head in the direction of Eric.

Mac laughed and tossed her long curls over her shoulder. "I'm not a true geek in the real sense of the word. Those two are amazing," she said looking over at Nell and Eric. "But I do have one of those minds that _thinks_ like a computer. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing….I just know it helps in my work as a profiler."

"Well I'll have to remember that the next time I have problems with my laptop," Callen smiled in a seductive manner. He was strangely attracted to Mac and beauty wasn't the only reason. He liked a smart woman and loved to watch them work. Her analysis today in Ops was a turn on for him. No offense to Nate, but this was one Psych Ops he was going to get along with quite well.

Deeks had stayed back to congratulate Mac on her work with the cypher and overheard her conversation with Callen. Although he tried to stay impartial, he recognized a good pick up line when he heard it. Callen was flirting with Mac and for the first time he could understand the way Kensi was feeling. He looked around for his partner but she had long since left the room. He was feeling like a third wheel as he stood around waiting for Mac, so he quietly slipped out of Ops but an overwhelming feeling of jealousy walked alongside him. He held no claims on Mac, she was a free agent. But after Kensi's final rejection today, he didn't know what he wanted anymore. He thought of the sweet kiss he shared with Mac this morning in her living room. It brought back all the wonderful feelings they had once shared, the same feelings he had wanted to share with Kensi one day. But he was tired of being alone, damn it! He wanted to experience that sense of belonging you can only get with one exclusive person. His heart felt like a piece of coal, black, hard and heavy in his chest. He was lovesick and prayed for someone special to brighten his soul one day.

Deeks was standing at the bottom of the Mission steps and glanced up as Callen and Mac walked down the tiled stairs together. They were laughing brightly and it felt like someone had kicked him straight in the gut. They both sauntered by him and headed to the Bullpen. Mac smiled at Deeks as she walked by.

"Mac?" Deeks called out and she turned around to face him. "We have some time before we have our security detail tonight, I was headed to Surfrider beach and was wondering if you wanted to come?" Deeks asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Marty. Callen and I are going to grab an early dinner together. Maybe another time?" she asked. Deeks tucked his hands in his back pocket and looked down at the floor.

"Is there a problem, Deeks?" Callen asked stepping closer to Mac. Callen's proximity to Mac wasn't lost on Deeks. The senior agent was staking his claim. Deeks scowled back at Callen and then at Mac. After yesterday he wasn't ready to get into another alpha clash with Callen. He stepped back and shook his head.

"No, nothing's wrong," he gazed briefly at Callen and Mac but he wasn't smiling as he walked out of their workspace and down the hall. "I'll talk to you later."

Mac could tell Deeks was troubled by her actions and turned to face Callen. "Give me a second? I'll be right back."

Mac rushed down the hall towards Deeks. "Marty! Wait up, will you?" she shouted. They had reached the inner courtyard of the Mission and Deeks stopped under one of the arched columns allowing her to catch up with him. His lined face revealed his frustration.

"What was that all about, Marty?" she exclaimed, her hands propped up on her hips. "I thought the two of you were going to choose seconds and then go marching off in different directions with pistols drawn?"

Deeks chuckled despondently looking down at his feet. "Yeah, I guess it kind of looked that way didn't it?" he said and let out a long breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." It was the first time he looked her straight in the eyes.

"It's just dinner," she softened her voice trying to soothe him. Deeks looped his thumbs in his front jean pockets and smiled back shaking his head.

"We were over a long time ago, Mac," he said apologetically. "I don't have any claims over you or who you hang out with. I guess I was just feeling a little bit possessive and that was wrong of me."

"Wow! This is a new side of your personality…. but I kind of like it," Mac purred as she inched up closer to Deeks. He remained still and forgot to exhale when her chest brushed up seductively against his. She slowly encircled his waist with her arms and pulled him closer.

"What are you doing?" Deeks laughed and smiled up at the ceiling.

"My, it _has_ been a long time, hasn't it, Counselor?" Mac teased.

"I refuse to answer that, Doctor on the grounds it may incriminate me," he joked in return and quickly looked around the yard before drawing her behind the column. Once he was assured they had a bit more privacy, he paused to study her face.

"It would be so easy to fall in love with you all over again, you know that don't you?" he whispered.

Mac answered by pulling his face down with her hands so she could briefly touch her lips to his. She unhurriedly left a string of kisses all along his cheek and down the side of his neck. Deeks replied with a groan throwing his head back, giving her the access she needed to take him to paradise.

"I don't know, maybe we shouldn't be doing this," Deeks slurred his words, deeply aroused by the woman in his arms.

Hell, who was he kidding? He never wanted her to stop and instinctively gave into the temptation, clutching Mac firmly to his body. He pulled her as close to him as two human beings could possibly get without it hurting. He didn't care anymore who was watching or what they thought. He just wanted to feel all of the contours of her body up against his once again, to breathe in her fragrance and to taste the honeyed nectar hidden deep within her. He plundered her mouth, his tongue rediscovering all the sweet hollows inside. She was like pure, clear running water to a man who was dying of thirst. He gasped as he came up for air, delighting in the exhilaration of being close to her again. Deeks clasped her tightly to his breast and hoped that the answer to his prayers was nestled in his arms right now.

* * *

Kensi had decided to hide out in the armory, pretending to clean her weapon in preparation for their security detail at the safe house later that night. After the show in Ops she just wanted to be alone to think. Kensi usually took pride in cleaning her weapon. It wasn't just an extension of herself… it kept her safe and provided her with the security she needed to do her job. This time she wasn't really paying much attention to the firearm as she rubbed the cloth around the barrel. Deeks words tormented her. She couldn't function one more minute. She had to find him now; maybe they could still talk this through together. She laid her weapon on the table and went in search of Deeks.

Kensi took the back hallway on her trek to the Bullpen but stopped in horror as she caught a movement through the arched windows looking outside into the courtyard. Kensi was frozen in place. _This couldn't be happening_, she cried. She backed away wishing she had never witnessed the shocking image that was now seared into her brain. She ran like a woman possessed, out the Mission back doors and into the parking lot. She leaned up against her car to catch her breath and covered her face with her hands trying to keep the tears from flowing like a waterfall down her cheeks. She had to get out…. anywhere was better than here. She found her keys in her back pocket and drove off down the street like the devil was chasing her out of Hades. She didn't stop until she found herself in front of a large white house in a very familiar neighborhood. She wasn't even sure how she got here but was surprised at how a part of her subconscious self navigated her to the one person she needed more than anyone else on the face of this earth right now.

Her hand was shaking as she rang the bell. She leaned up against the door jamb praying someone would answer and soon! Please! She kept her finger on the bell until the door flew open.

"What the…..Kensi… sweetheart? What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

Kensi opened her mouth to speak but just fell into her mother's arms and sobbed.

* * *

_I've been in this business a long time and it's hard to find a good friend let alone a good woman. I've not had the good fortune to find that special girl. Hetty would say I'm too much of a lone wolf. Maybe she's right. Finding a woman who understands what I do is tricky. It's hard but not impossible to live an undercover life and carry on a love affair at the same time. But it's never worked out for me. I watch as my partner juggles a covert career alongside family obligations. If it wasn't for Michelle… well, Sam would be married to his career instead of the beautiful woman who shares his bed every night._

_Mac is one of those women, like Michelle, who can fulfill the needs for a man like me and who understands my responsibilities. I was hoping to find out more about her over dinner but no matter how many times I changed the topic, Deeks' name always kept coming up. We might as well have invited him to come along since he was the third person sitting at our table even though he wasn't there. Something is going on between those two. If I didn't know better, I think Deeks was jealous. It would definitely explain Kensi's actions over the past two days. You know, I think there may be some merit to staying a lone wolf. This is getting too damn complicated… even for me!_


	13. Chapter 13

**Venus Rising**

**By Phillydi**

**Chapter Thirteen**

* * *

_Although she would never admit this to me, Henrietta has allowed this team to close ranks, conveniently shutting me out of some of the more, shall we say, personal aspects of their life at the agency. I have to rely on my outside sources to gather intel on these agents and despite her protective maneuverings, I can always find a way to get the information I need. Like Deeks and McGlone, for instance. I've never been convinced of Deeks value to this team and now we add someone in his past that can only bring a state of confusion to the mix. If they were previously involved, this could throw off the balance of the team's dynamics. I don't approve of mixing business with affairs of the heart… no matter what. If you don't have the will power to keep your dick out of the work place, then you don't have the mettle to make it in our world. As assistant deputy director I have an obligation to this agency to make sure the integrity of this institution is upheld. I won't let this maverick LAPD detective continue to leave his mark here if he intends to throw his dubious past around in our faces. I won't tolerate it._

* * *

Kensi sat curled up on the breakfast nook bench. She starred out over the expensively manicured back yard and wondering what life had been like for her mother after Kensi ran away to live with her father. Since their reunion last year, Kensi enjoyed their sporadic mother-daughter talks but it wasn't easy getting to know Julia again. Kensi had spent the last fifteen years growing up and working around men who had become the most important people in her life. They were men she admired, and men who made her feel special and valued. She really didn't have any female BFFs, unless you counted Nell and even that was a stretch. To be truthful, she felt more comfortable around men. She wasn't a girly girl by any stretch of the imagination but she didn't consider herself a tomboy either. Even though she was much more comfortable in an old pair of faded jeans and a cotton plaid shirt, she occasionally enjoyed putting on the little black dress and spiked heels every now and then too. She rarely chose much make up or jewelry. She was one of those rare beauties that needed no ornamentation.

Kensi was still shivering, vividly remembering the scene in the Mission courtyard. All she could see was Deeks' arms wrapped possessively around Mac, his lips pressed tightly to hers. She cupped her hands around a mug of hot peppermint tea but it wasn't enough to relieve the chill that had settled around her heart. She finally worked up the courage to go to Deeks and begin a dialogue. She hated that he was so sad and upset at her. Kensi couldn't live with herself knowing she had let him down. Like Donald Blye before him, Deeks was her best friend. She was always amazed that this man accepted and loved her, warts and all, just like her father had done once.

Unfortunately, she also knew that at any time an extraordinary woman could come along and steal Deeks' love away from her. She just wasn't ready for it to happen today. Seeing Mac and Deeks embraced in that torrid kiss had ripped her soul apart. Is this what being in love always felt like? It seems like she was in a perpetual state of pain and misery when it came to loving another human being. It had happen after her break up with Jack. The men she loves always leave her. Even though he had done the same, she didn't blame Deeks. He had so eloquently and sweetly tried to convince her of his love but she was forever adrift in a sea of non-commitment. What was wrong with her? She sipped on the warm tea and stared at the loose tea leaves floating around at the bottom of the cup.

Julia studied her daughter from across the kitchen, a little bit more than concerned. What mother wouldn't be after finding her usually self-sufficient, independent daughter in such a state of turmoil? But try as she might, she still hadn't figured out what made Kensi tick. Her father had created a soldier out of a frightened little girl who didn't understand why her parents had separated. She cursed Don. He meant well but Kensi was emotionally defenseless now like a new born baby. She could bring a terrorist down to their knees but she had no idea how to protect her own heart from an attack. Since Kensi had come back into her life, she tried to see past the tough warrior image she projected out to the world. She would occasionally catch a glimpse of vulnerability every now and then in a quick smile, or when she chatted excitedly about her partner…. but those were the exceptions.

Julia was shocked to watch that whole façade come tumbling down the moment she found Kensi standing at her front door. It took her a good half hour to calm her daughter and dry the seemingly unending stream of tears. She was afraid to touch her little girl for fear she would crumble in her arms. Julia waited patiently for Kensi to tell her story as the younger woman struggled to gain her composure. All she could do right now was to keep the water boiling and the peppermint tea coming.

"Kensi?" Julia finally whispered, trying to get Kensi to surface from her trance.

"Mmmm?" Kensi looked around as if she had just found herself in a strange place.

"Baby, you want to tell me what happen?"

Kensi hesitated and then stared up into her mother's eyes. She quickly realized how lucky she was to have this woman once again in her life. She didn't know where she would have gone, or what she would have done after she raced out of the Mission. She finally had a home once again where she could seek refuge and it felt good.

"I blew it, mom," Kensi sighed, her brows furrowed. "Deeks told me he loved me and I just couldn't say it back. Oh God, I tried! I really did!" Kensi began to sob quietly again, taking in large gulps of air.

Julie could feel Kensi's frustration and realized her torment had to do with her partner, the man who was probably the closest person to her in the world. She always had a sense there was more than just a professional partnership going on between the two. She saw the way Deeks looked at her daughter on occasion and could feel his love for Kensi from across the room. Sometime she felt she had to look away for fear she was invading their privacy.

"I don't understand, tell me what happen?" she asked Kensi.

Kensi took a big breath, and tried to choke back the tears. She wiped her eyes and proceeded to tell her mother what had transpired over the past few days. She described Mac's arrival and how Deeks had been so upset by the return of the woman he once loved. She told Julia that she advised Deeks to make a clean sweep of their differences and start over. It made sense at the time, particularly as long as they all had to work together.

"Well, that was sound advice, Kensi," Julie said. "But something more had to happen to bring you to this state?"

"Remember when I was in the seventh grade, and I had that big crush on Craig Sheppard?" Kensi asked sheepishly.

"How could I forget? He kissed Dana under the bleachers and you got quite jealous, as I remember," Julie tried to look disapprovingly at her daughter, despite her reassuring smile.

"She was my best friend and I was angry," Kensi shook her head and crushed her napkin in her hands. She paused for a few moments before continuing. "Well, I kind of did the same thing today." She was ashamed of her actions. "I got angry and then I let my jealousy make a fool out of me."

"I see," Julie frowned at Kensi. "So Deeks cleared the air with Mac and that made you jealous?"

"That… and finding them in a heavy duty lip lock at work an hour ago!" Kensi raged.

"Oh, my," Julie said finally understanding Kensi's anguish. It was seventh grade all over again only this time the stakes were higher. She placed her hand over Kensi's in unity.

"What's wrong with me, mom?" Kensi pleaded for an answer, her voice a mere whisper. "Ever since Jack left, I just can't seem to get beyond the hurt… it all falls apart and I run away. Deeks tried so hard to make me see how much I meant to him. He loves me, at least he did, but I don't know how to love him in return. I'm so afraid of being hurt again," she cried in despair and hid her face in her hands.

Julia looked compassionately at her daughter. She wished she could find the magic potion that could take away all her grief and sorrow but Kensi would have to fight this battle on her own.

"Honey, what is your heart telling you to do?" Julia peered over at Kensi. "Look beyond the hurt. Do you trust him?"

"With my life."

"But do you trust him with your heart?"

"That's the problem, I don't know," she shrugged. "I just want him to be happy and never want to leave me. Is that asking too much?"

Julia gave Kensi a sympathetic smile and cupped her hand under the younger girl's chin.

"No one can promise you that, Kensi. Not even your father," she said truthfully. "But sometimes you have to make a leap of faith and hope things will work out."

Kensi looked away from her mother, her throat tightened and her eyes began to well up again.

"Kensi, look at me," her mother pleaded. "One thing I know for sure is that you have so much love to give, and you are perfectly able to love again. Now, I don't know if Deeks is the right man for you and maybe he wasn't meant to be anything more than your partner. But you owe it to you and Marty to find out, don't you think?" Julie stopped to gage Kensi's reaction. "Right now you are using your past to prevent you from moving forward. That's what's making it so much harder to trust him. I'm not saying that love doesn't take a lot of work…. God knows, your father and I tried. But when you give yourself permission to love again and the time is right, it will happen naturally with immense joy, and not all this pain."

Kensi ran her hand through her long auburn hair. She was lost in thought and stood up to walk out onto the patio. She had never considered that maybe she and Deeks weren't made for each other but her mother was right. She needed to find out. And if it was too late she would always want what was best for Deeks even if she couldn't be that special woman in his life. They would always be friends.

Kensi was exhausted and spied an inviting hammock that was nestled away at the back of the yard. She and Deeks were due at the safe house in a few hours but she needed a brief nap before she could face him again after this emotionally charged day. She felt like she was floating on air as she rested her head on the fine netting and drifted off to sleep.

Julie watched Kensi take refuge in the comfort of the hammock and could tell it didn't take long for her to give into her fatigue. She picked up her cell phone and dialed.

"Hello, Miss Lange?" she inquired. "This is Julia, Kensi's mom."

* * *

Deeks was pacing back and forth in the bullpen, wondering where the hell his partner had gone. It was bad enough he felt empty after Mac went off to dinner with Callen but now he was also feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. He actually felt guilty that he had cheated on Kensi by kissing Mac! Was that crazy or what? _Didn't you have to be in a relationship to actually be cheating on a person?_

Deeks flopped down on his chair and forced a laugh which sounded bitter and a bit harsh even to him. Deeks knew Kensi better than anyone else on this planet and he was certain she had closed down to protect herself but that didn't mean she didn't want his love. He always saw her hesitancy not as rejection but as a test of his trust to remain solid and steadfast. Yeah, he knew all about Jack, the bastard. Deeks always hoped his lost would be Deeks' gain. So he did his best to stay on the patient path but there was only so much his heart could take before he decided to cut his losses and move on. It was easy to go running back to Mac and soak in the love he so desperately needed…but she had hurt him terribly once too and who was to say she wouldn't do it again. Deeks was lost and sat quietly alone with his confusion and heartache.

"Mr. Deeks?"

Deeks looked up slowly to see Hetty hovering over his desk.

"I just received a call that Kensi is not feeling too well and won't be able to join you tonight at the safe house," she said.

"What's wrong? Is she ok?" he asked with concern.

"She'll be fine. I felt it was best she get some additional rest. Her mother is taking care of her right now," Hetty stared intensely at her LAPD officer. "In truth, I'm really concerned more about your state of mind, Mr. Deeks. You have been on your own emotional rollercoaster as well."

"I'm fine, Hetty. Mac and I had a long talk last night and we were able to leave most of our past baggage behind."

"But it's not as simple as all that…. is it, Mr. Deeks?"

"Can't sneak anything by you, can I, Hetty?" Deeks said sadly, her observation added additional layers to his state of melancholy.

"Can I help?" Hetty asked.

Deeks shook his head in defeat. "Not really. This will have to play itself out, I'm afraid."

"If there is anything I can do, you'll let me know," she smiled warmly. "I'll send an extra team with you to the safe house tonight. Good luck."

Deeks watched as the woman who was the closest he had to family walked back to her office. He dreaded tonight. Deeks only had himself for company and the loneliness was killing him already. He picked up his backpack and exited the building.

"So, I overheard your little conversation with Deeks back there," Granger stepped up into Hetty's office startling the older woman. He seemed to materialized as if out of nowhere.

"That was none of your business, Owen," Hetty responded abruptly and with anger.

"Everything within these walls is my business, Hetty," Granger hissed.

Hetty walked around her desk to get closer to Granger but didn't speak at first. She folded her arms squarely across her chest and stood fearlessly in front of her supervisor.

"You have had your back up ever since I bought Deeks into this agency. So why don't you stop pussy footing around and tell me what's really bothering you."

Granger stuffed his hands into his pockets and smiled indulgently at Hetty. "I know you didn't pick Deeks off of the LAPD _employee of the month_ bulletin board. He was one of your orphans, or lost kids, wasn't he?" he goaded Hetty. "He came to your attention before he graduated high school. You helped him gain admission to college and then law school. You paid for the partial scholarships he received too. He has remained blissfully unaware of all this because you were a silent benefactor working behind the scenes with his counselors during those years."

Hetty continued to stare at Granger, she had no intention of showing her hand just yet.

"I really don't know what you saw in him, but I know his assignment here was not by coincidence," Granger continued. "You followed his career until you found a way to take him under your wing and make him a part of NCIS. You had this planned all along."

"Let's say your little story is true, Owen," Hetty spoke softly. "I don't care what you're building your prejudices on, but Mr. Deeks is one of the finest law enforcement officers I have worked with. He can stand proudly next to each and every one of his colleagues here at NCIS when it comes to honor and integrity. I hope one day he will accept my offer to become an official member of this agency but until that happens I am lucky to have him on my team."

"I see," Granger nodded his head trying to control his emotions. "You're willing to risk your career on some goof ball cop with a dubious past who was caught up in a possible scandal with your new Psych Ops? I'm disappointed in you, Henrietta?" Granger raged.

"That goof ball cop saved my life in Romania and I would trust him over you any day, Owen," Hetty said raising her voice to match Granger's. "And unlike you, I respect my people, but my expectations are high. I only choose the best, and you will not second guess my choices for this team. If there are personnel challenges, I will handle it!" A lone figure came to stand quietly off to the side witnessing the heated discussion.

"What?" Granger yelled looking over his shoulder.

"Ah, I'm sorry for the interruption, sir. Hetty, I need your signature," Nell backed off a bit, startled by Granger's outburst.

"Not at all Miss Jones," she said calmly. "Owen was just leaving, weren't you?"

Granger looked long and hard at Hetty and walked out of her office.

Nell approached cautiously up to Hetty's desk to lay the requisitions in front of her. The Ops Manager looked up at Nell and smiled.

"So, do you have anything planned for tonight, Miss Jones?" she asked.

"I was about to gather my things and head home," she said and pointed to the door.

"How would you like to join me on a mission of mercy?" she grinned cunningly.

"Sounds like fun…I think," Nell smiled back in curiosity. She never knew what to expect next. With Hetty, life at the agency was always an adventure.

* * *

Mac pulled into the Nunez' drive way. Callen and Sam had parked at a safe distance further up the street off the cul-de-sac. Mac donned a short blond wig and large sun glasses that covered most of her face to help with her disguise as Darlene Nunez. She carried two grocery bags on either side of her chest, tucking her handbag safely under her arms. Mac went around to the side door that led to the kitchen and inserted the house key into the lock.

"I'm in, gentleman," she whispered. She laid down her bags carefully on the counter top and did a brief security check of the house.

"Mac?" Callen spoke through his ear wig waiting for the new member of his team to report in.

"It's quiet, Callen," she responded back. "The house looks undisturbed. I'll keep busy in the living room until bedtime and then cut the lights around eleven."

"Ok, let us know if you need us," Callen said as he and Sam settled down for a long night ahead. The neighborhood seemed quiet, a stray dog barking and the hum of air conditioners were the only sounds on the streets. Sam began his stake out ritual of designing origami animals out of gum wrappers. Callen closed his eyes and slid down in the front seat wishing his partner would take up a new hobby.

* * *

Kensi woke up with a start and had to chase the cobwebs out of her head before she realized where she was. She stared up into the blue California sky and found herself slowly swaying in a hammock suspended between two sycamore trees in her mother's backyard. The serenity of the quiet haven was bliss to her battered spirit.

"Oh my God, Deeks!" her eyes flew open and she flipped herself off the netting. Kensi looked at her watch and realized they were due at the safe house in ten minutes!

"Mom, I'm late," she called out as she rushed up to the back door. "I got to go…."

Kensi stopped short as she bounded into the kitchen in search of Julia. There, sitting around the center table was not only her mother, but two more familiar faces. All three were happily chatting over a cup of tea.

"Hetty! Nell! What are you doing here?" Kensi asked incredulously.

"We came to get you. I thought a girl's night out might be in order, Miss Blye," Hetty answered. "I know I could use one!"

"Is this a joke?" Kensi walked slowly over to the table. "I have to be at the safe house with Deeks in a few minutes!"

"Deeks is going solo tonight and we are going to parteee!" Nell chimed in throwing her arms in the air.

"I don't understand?" Kensi stammered.

"We thought we could help take your mind off of some of your problems," Hetty explained.

"How do you know what….? Mom! What did you tell them?" Kensi cried.

"Kensi, Miss Lange was concerned about you and she asked. I'm sorry sweetheart but I didn't know how else to help you."

"Don't blame your mother, dear," Hetty said calmly. "Besides, it's been quite obvious by your actions what's been going on between you and Mr. Deeks since Dr. McGlone has arrived at the agency. I decided we all needed some time off to relax and have some fun! Kick up your heels…. get drunk! Maybe even have an old fashion affair!"

"Hetty!" Kensi blushed.

"Alright then, a fling if you prefer! A passing dalliance… to pick up your spirits and make you feel special."

"Mind blowing sex always works for me!" Nell added spontaneously. The room went quiet. "What are you all staring at? You don't think I've had mind blowing sex before?"

"I'm sure you have my dear," Hetty patted her on the hand. "But let's not get a head of ourselves. We'll take this one step at a time…shall we?"

"You are all nuts! You know that don't you?" Kensi giggled and smiled lovingly back at her friends.

'I'll never forget the night I spent with Ol' Blue Eyes… now there was a man who knew how to treat a woman right. I was over the moon for weeks!" Hetty reminisced fondly.

"Frank Sinatra? That Ol' Blue Eyes?" Julia asked in astonishment. Nell winked at Julia to confirm her boss' story. She never got tired of Hetty's accounts of her former lovers.

"Oh what the hell! What can it hurt? Right?" Kensi clapped her hands and gave in to her friends' plans.

"That's the spirit, my girl! I know a great little country and western bar in Burbank that always has a selection of the most amazing male specimens in southern California," Hetty had a cheshire grin displayed prominently across her face.

"Yee Ha! What are we waiting for?" Nell exclaimed.

* * *

Deeks arrived at the Nunez's safe house and checked in with the family. He played a couple of games of chess with Carter and gave up after losing the last one. He couldn't win a game if he tried. His mind was distracted and he wasn't great company as the boy soon found out. Darlene Nunez could tell Deeks wasn't in the mood for talking either and left him to tend to his work. He did tell her about the encryption the team had found on Carter's computer but they were still trying to figure it all out.

He spent most of the early morning hours staring out at the front window and then finally settled down on the couch for a few hours of sleep. He awoke suddenly when he heard his phone buzzing and quickly sat up at full attention. Deeks glanced at his watch and wondered who the hell needed him at five in the morning. Hetty's name popped up on the screen_. _

"It's too early in the morning to go chasing after bad guys, Hetty," Deeks moaned realizing he was still in a miserable mood.

"No bad guys, Mr. Deeks but possibly a rogue partner."

"Kensi? Now what?"

"I'm getting ready to drop her off at her home and I think she may need your assistance."

"Is she sick, hurt? What's wrong?" Her last statement had gotten his attention.

"No, not exactly, but let's say your partner is going to need a lot of TLC in about twenty minutes."

"Jeez, alright," Deeks groaned feeling a bit of a grouch. "I'll turn everything over to my relief and be right there."

Deeks pulled up to Kensi's small bungalow and could tell the place was empty. Kensi's car was missing and the interior was quiet. He took a seat on the front stoop and waited, apprehensive and not sure what state he would find his partner in when she showed up.

He saw the headlights of Hetty's Jaguar coming up the street before he could actually see the car. It stopped quietly in front of the house and the side passenger door flew wide open. He watched as Kensi emerged from the car wearing a cowboy hat and bolero around her neck. When she eyed her partner she shot him a big goofy grin and waved. Nell quickly replaced Kensi in the front seat and gave Deeks a thumbs up.

"Deeks! What are you doing here?! You'll never know where I've been…..oops!" Kensi barely got out of the car when she tripped over the first step leading up to her home. Deeks shook his head and walked casually down the steps to pick her up.

"You're drunk," he said accusingly with a slight twinge of anger in his voice.

"I am not drunk!" she argued. "Hetty says I'm pleasantly inebriated! Ha!" Kensi threw her head back and giggled uncontrollably.

"Did she now?" Deeks grumbled and turned around just in time to watch the tail lights of the Jag fade into the distance.

* * *

_Although Callen and Sam are sitting outside and not too far from this house, I feel incredibly lonely. I can still feel Deeks' arms wrapped firmly around my body as he held me close today, his words echoing in my mind. Could he love me again so easily? I yearn to hear him whisper those three little words once again in my ear. His kiss was full of promise, his eyes held the same fondness he once had shown me when we were blissfully in love. My heart flutters with nervousness to think of the possibility of sharing a life together again. Could we be so lucky to get this second chance at love?_

_As with Coop, there would be challenges to overcome and to deal with. I know Deeks has feelings for Kensi but for now he assures me they are only partners and Kensi has her own agenda to deal with. Her jealously is palpable and I know it will take some time to win her over. He is a loyal partner and I would never upset the synchronicity they have built over all these year. They are a good team and I respect all that but…. Deeks needs a woman who will love him and care for him. I intend to be that woman if he lets me. _

_One person whose agenda was not so clear was Granger. His little talk with me this afternoon was more like a grilling and his dislike for Deeks was evident. He knows something. I just haven't figured out if I should be careful or downright afraid. _


	14. Chapter 14

**Venus Rising**

**By Phillydi**

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

_I'm just a computer geek. What do I know about love? But there are days when I look over at Nell and I realize there is so much more to life than just encryption programs, character encodings and securing hard drives. When we talk shop I see the brilliance in her eyes but she's really just a girl with hopes and dreams like every other woman who wants to be loved. I wonder sometimes if her dreams include me. I try to sneak a glance whenever she's working at her station and fantasize what it would be like to be the man in her life. Sure, I'm protective of my partner, particularly when she goes out in the field….but mainly I keep my thoughts to myself. If Nell knew how I truly felt about her she would freak out. Women are amazing creatures and much more interesting than computers. I just wish they would let us in on some of their secrets…. it sure would make life a heck of a lot easier for a hack like me who doesn't have a clue!_

* * *

Deeks helped Kensi to the front door and found the keys in her back pocket. He wrapped his left arm firmly around her waist and tried to balance her sagging body up against his as he pushed the key into the lock. Kensi was humming _Mamas Don't Let You're Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys_ and then broke into the refrain at the top of her lungs.

_"'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone. Even with someone they looooove."_

"Aw, Kensi! You're going to wake up the neighborhood, for god's sake!" Deeks grumbled and quickly pushed her through the double doors.

"We had so much fun!" she sang and twirled around the living room floor knocking into the coffee table and tumbling up against Deeks again. He barely caught her in time before she took another spill.

"Guess what I did?" she asked slurring her words and clutching both of his arms firmly for support.

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Deeks mumbled to himself as he tried to guide her over to the couch.

"I danced all night long!" She started to count on her fingers, staring at each digit intensely. "There was Jerry and then there was Billy and Randy and oh, Joe…can't forget Joe!" she cried.

"God forbid," Deeks responded sarcastically.

"And you know what? None of them was named Marty!" She poked him in the chest a few times and plopped her felt cowboy hat on top of his head.

"Yeah, that's because _Marty _was doing his job instead of calling out sick….which is where you should have been, Fern," Deeks removed the hat and threw it on the coat rack. He proceeded to scoop her up in his arms and drop her unceremoniously onto the couch.

"My name's not Fern! Did I ever tell you how much I hate that name?" she hiccupped and landed on the pillows with a lopsided grin on her face.

"You don't say," Deeks snapped. He was in a foul mood and didn't feel like attending to his tipsy partner, especially this early in the morning. He continued to ignore her ramblings and leaned over to remove her shoes. _Where the hell were Jerry, Billy, Randy and Joe when you needed them?_

"Uh oh! Marty's angry at Kensi, isn't he?" Kensi wiggled her finger at Deeks. "Are you angry at me?" she asked again and giggled.

Deeks propped his hands on his hips but didn't answer her. Damn right he was angry and not only that but he was hurt. She could stay out all night and be swept off her feet by every passing guy in a cowboy bar but she couldn't even pretend to try and love him when he declared his feelings for her yesterday. _So this is what jealousy felt like_! He turned on his heels and decided to make himself useful before he put his fist through a wall. Deeks headed into the kitchen to find the ingredients to whip up a hangover remedy. He knew Kensi was going to have one hell of a headache when the liquor wore off and it wasn't going to be pretty. But she deserved this one. Besides, he was too pissed off at her right now to talk and she was too drunk to listen.

Deeks could hear Kensi as she sang and chatted all by herself in the other room. He couldn't help smile despite his anger. He had never seen her so carefree and abandoned. That must have been some girl's night out. And what the hell were they celebrating about, anyway? Hetty had a lot to answer for….not to mention an apology for dumping a _pleasantly inebriated_ Kensi into his lap!

Deeks mixed a few measured ingredients into a glass that included lemon juice, Worcestershire and Tabasco sauce, an egg and a quarter cup of lager. It was an old family recipe his mom use to make for his dad. Just the smell of the cocktail sent him straight back to uglier times. Deeks couldn't remember the last time he found himself drunk but on the rare occasions he tied one on, he woke up hating himself in the morning. He tried to avoid doing anything that reminded him of his father. The further he could distance himself from the old man, the better. Deeks stirred the spoon through the mixture and walked back into the living room.

"Here, drink this," he said handing the glass over to Kensi who smelled the tart sauces and wrinkled her nose.

"I'd rather have a scotch and soda, please," Kensi said as she eyed the drink suspiciously and pushed it back at him.

"Yeah, and I'd rather be surfing in Hawaii. Drink it," Deeks ordered and forced her to take the glass back.

Kensi smiled seductively up at Deeks before quickly downing the concoction.

"Eweeew! That's terrible! What's in…?" Kensi suddenly grabbed her stomach and leaned forward. "Oh God! Deeks. I think I'm going to be ….." Kensi retched once directly in front of him and groaned loudly.

Deeks closed his eyes afraid to look down at his shoes. She stumbled clumsily to her feet and fled into the bathroom. The sound of Kensi being sick echoed down the hall and through the house.

"Works every time," Deeks marveled and followed his indisposed partner into the bathroom. He knelt down and pulled Kensi's hair away from her face as she squatted next to the toilet. Her face had turned ashen and pale and her moans became louder as she continued to empty the rest of the contents of her stomach into the bowl. Deeks sat up on the edge of the tub tenderly stroking her head and holding her hair back until she was spent.

"Oh God," Kensi sobbed and tried to lift her head. "The room is spinning! I'm going to die, aren't I?" she cried as she grabbed one of Deeks' arms. "Please tell me I'm not going to die!"

Deeks' lips teetered on the edge of a grin but he managed to keep a stern look on his face. "You're not going to die, Fern, but I guarantee you're going to wish you never walked into that bar last night." He lifted Kensi to her feet and she closed her eyes to stop the dizziness. Deeks found a wash cloth and swabbed her face with cool water as Kensi sighed enjoying the refreshing feel of the towel on her face.

"Come on, let's get you into bed," Deeks said.

"If I wasn't so sick, I'd say you were using my condition to take advantage of me."

"Of course. It's a well-known fact a man can't wait to get a woman into bed after she's thrown up on him," Deeks rolled his eyes. "Very romantic, by the way."

Deeks realized Kensi wasn't going to be able to put one foot in front of the other let alone walk down the hall. He once again lifted her effortlessly into his arms and felt her head fall quickly onto his chest like a rag doll. He hastily found his way to her bedroom, sat her down gently on the bed and began to unbutton her shirt and unfastened the bolero from around her neck. He slipped them both off her torso and pushed her back onto the bed and continued to remove the rest of her clothing. It wasn't easy undressing a dead weight but Kensi gave no resistance as he pulled her jeans down over her trim hips and legs. He tucked the covers softly around the curves of her body and his heart began to beat erratically as he looked back down at his exhausted partner. He pulled a strand of hair away from Kensi's eyes and lingered a few seconds longer to let his fingers rest on the side of her face. His entire body hummed with arousal. He loved her with every fiber of his soul and would die protecting her if he had to. She just would never be his to love, his to cherish, his for the rest of all time. He gave a long sigh and straightened himself up to leave. He stood by the door and switched off the light. Deeks began to close the door behind him when he heard Kensi shift forward in the bed.

"Deeks?"

"Go to sleep, Kensi."

"I love you," she murmured quietly, almost to herself. Her eyes were half-closed as she turned to bury her head back into the pillow.

Deeks was frozen in time and couldn't move. His heart did a back flip and he gripped the doorknob so tightly that his hand began to cramp. He couldn't believe it had taken a night of drinking to finally get Kensi to open up and say the words he had always longed to hear. A slow grin spread across his face. He didn't know if it was for real or not but he'd take it. Deeks felt the shadows lift from his soul for the first time in days.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed. He stole a final glance at the quiet figure in the bed and shut the door behind him He answered the call as he hurried down the hall.

"Callen?"

"Deeks, what's your location?" Callen called out.

"I'm at Kensi's house, why?"

"Meet us back at the Mission, fast. We think Mac's been taken from the house. She's gone."

"What the hell do you mean she's gone, Callen?" Deeks cried out.

"Long story. You and Kensi need to get back here, now." The phone went dead.

"Shit!" Deeks groaned. He stood stationary in the middle of the living room floor and finally decided to leave Kensi a note to join them as soon as she woke up. He checked in one last time on his partner, closed up the house and raced to join the rest of the team.

* * *

Eric awoke suddenly when his palm slipped off his chin and fell onto his lap. He had stayed faithfully by his post the entire evening, positive that at any minute they would receive a response from the encrypted message he had sent to Lieutenant Nunez through his son's computer. Most of the night he waited for a hit from the coding program and in between he daydreamed about Nell. He wished he could imitate the kind of swagger that Sam always talked about. If only he had the confidence to tell her how he felt. It was one of the drawbacks of being a geek.

_All brains and no brawn_, he lamented and cupped his palm under his chin again.

Eric decided to head to the kitchen to get the morning brew going when his monitor began to beep. He rushed back to his station and displayed the colorful image on the large screen in the middle of the room. The computer's interactive game was pinging off the charts! A string of letters, spaces and punctuation filled the screen. Eric began to encrypt the message as it replayed over and over again.

WATKINS WAS SET UP…. BE CAREFUL

"Well, I'll be damn… we did it!" Eric cried out and rubbed his hands together in excitement. He couldn't wait for the others to get into work!

Within an hour, the Mission was buzzing with activity. Hetty and Nell came straight into the office after receiving the first alert from Callen. Eric had sent out BOLOs on everyone involved with the case. Airports and borders had been alerted along with other government and city officials. What was left of the team gathered around the table at Ops weighing their next move in the search and rescue mission to find Mac.

"There has been no communication from Mac or her kidnappers since we checked in with her at one am this morning," Callen said.

"When we tried to make contact with her again around four, there was no response," Sam added. "The place was quiet."

"Oh and…. what?" Deeks spat. "She just calmly walked out of the house and down the street in the middle of the night with her captors?" Deeks was in a rage. "She could be hurt or even dead by now!"

"Please relax, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said trying to calm the detective. "Were there any signs of a struggle in the house?" she asked her agents.

"We found her ear wig on the couch pillow," Sam replied. "Other than that the house was clean, not even a sign of a break-in."

"Eric, are you sure that's the only message you were able to encrypt? Would there be anything else hidden in that game?" Callen was grabbing at straws.

Eric looked at the team leader and shook his head sadly. "That was all of it, Callen. I think the Lieutenant either didn't have much time or didn't want to be caught."

Deeks paced the floor in front of the large screen.

"She was right and she knew they would come back," Deeks said thinking out loud making a fist in the air. "But why? Nunez is warning us that something big is at stake here. The question is…if Watkins was set up… _who_ is it that is trying to keep this information a secret?"

"The CIA wants to know the answer to that question as well, Deeks," Granger said walking into Ops as the doors closed behind him. "If you're all finished here, meet me in the Boathouse, Hetty and I'll bring Agent Brooks from the CIA there to confer with your team."

* * *

Mac moaned and tried to lift her head but the overwhelming weakness brought on by the sweet smelling anesthetic kept her from moving. She had been drugged and carried away like a sack of potatoes. The last thing she remembered was closing her eyes for a few minutes and laying down on the sofa for a brief nap. Now she was in a bed that reeked of body odor and was covered with blankets that probably hadn't seen a washing machine in years. She looked about the room but it was dark and there was only a sliver of light shining from beneath the threshold of the door. She was initially awakened by two voices arguing in Arabic and her instinct told her she was probably the topic of that discussion. The house shook with the banging of a door and the air was quiet again except for the occasional chirping of crickets outside. Suddenly she heard footsteps approach her room and the door creaked opened slowly. She closed her eyes again and pretended to be asleep. Mac waited for the figure to approach her.

"Who are you?" the voice whispered into her ear. Mac didn't move at first and waited a few seconds before answering.

"Do you always kidnap women you don't know?" she answered in return, slowly opening her eyes.

"I know you are not my wife."

Mac relaxed, turned her head slowly and looked up into the face of Lieutenant Luis Nunez.

"Good to see you are still alive and well Lieutenant," Mac groaned as she tried to lift her body off the mattress. "I'm Agent Macaela McGlone…. NCIS."

* * *

Deeks walked out onto the deck of the Boathouse and gripped the steel railing that wrapped around the stern. The rhythmic lapping of the water against the pier soothed his battered spirit. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. The warming rays of the sun shimmered across the bay, blinding his view of the boats docked directly across from where he was standing. He wasn't out there for the scenery, so it really didn't matter. He just needed to clear his head of the confusion and turmoil he'd gone through since Mac had returned into his life. His heart was torn in two. Should he trust Mac again or should he continue to wait for Kensi's commitment? Everything changed now that Mac was missing. His only priority was getting her back safely to the team. His tattered love life and a possible future together would have to wait. Deeks was scared for Mac and he was anxious to be out on the streets searching for her. She was a good cop and a good negotiator. If she had to, he believed she could talk her way out of a dangerous situation like this. But these people would kill to keep whatever it is they needed hidden. The longer the team waited, the harder it would be to bring her back alive.

He could hear the muted voices of his colleagues as they sat inside the Boathouse waiting for Granger and Agent Brooks. This was a joint mission now and the agencies were gathering to share information. He didn't trust Granger for a lot of reasons and was afraid he would have no vested interest in saving Mac. Why should he? He didn't hire her and as far as he was concerned she was collateral damage. At least Deeks was certain that Callen and the rest of the team wouldn't let him get away with it and would do everything in their power to rescue her. With a man like Granger you never knew what angle he was playing and how it would suit his needs. Deeks heard the portal open and close.

"Deeks, are you alright?" Callen joined him on deck.

"Not really," Deeks answered truthfully and avoided looking at the senior agent.

"We'll find her. You got to believe that," Callen pleaded. "I know this happened on my watch and you have every right to blame me but you know I'll do whatever it takes to get her back."

"I don't blame you, Callen," Deeks calmly corrected him. "But I know how these hostage situations go down. She only stays alive for as long as they need her," Deeks became quiet thinking of what fate had in store for Mac. Callen didn't answer right away either, his thoughts were also focused on their missing Psych Ops.

"You know, I keep feeling that whoever took her was a pro," Callen said shaking his head. "They got in and out without me and Sam even knowing she was gone."

"Yeah, they knew what they were doing alright," Deeks stared out over the bay and became very still. His brain was processing his words intently and then it hit him.

"That's it! They knew what they were doing!" Deeks exclaimed and hit the railing with the palm of his hand. He turned to face Callen. "What kind of person has that type of special training?"

Callen's eyes widen as he began to follow Deeks' reasoning.

"Nunez!" They shouted in unison and raced back into the interior of the Boathouse to find Sam and Hetty.

* * *

_I'm afraid Mr. Deeks is a bit put out with me. There is always a method to my madness and if I have to push some people in a direction they don't want to go, then so be it. A decision needs to be made in order to put an end to his torment. Owen is already breathing down my back about office decorum and the behavior of my staff. He's a fool to think he can dictate how and where individuals fall in love. Since the beginning of time people have followed their hearts with no regards to the consequences. Our drive is strong to mate and bond with a person we love…and when you find your twin flame, only death will end the desire to consummate this connection. Even then, I believe love returns over many lifetimes to start the process over and over again. This love triangle has danced the exact same pirouette throughout many centuries and once again it must come to a conclusion. I wish they could all find happiness but if Mr. Deeks chooses one over the other then this outcome won't provide a very happy ending for one of them. A very wise man once said that some of us think holding on makes us stronger but sometimes strength comes in letting go. Someone must be the stronger one here and…. let go._

_Owen was right about one thing, I have always had Mr. Deeks' best interests at heart ever since I found this extraordinary young boy in the detention center of child protective services. He impressed me with his wide smile, quick wit, and big heart but I saw the drive and ambition in his eyes as well. He was a big dreamer and I swore to nourish and protect his dreams until they brought him sunshine and light or in this case… gun power. I will not step in and try to influence the outcome of this love affair. After Dr. McGlone's disappearance today my soul is heavy. It is for the fates now to decide. And sometimes the fates can be cruel. _


	15. Chapter 15

**Venus Rising**

**By Phillydi**

**Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

_I am such an idiot! How did I get into my bed and where the hell are my clothes? At least I know why my head feels like it exploded into a thousand tiny pieces! I lost count after the third drink and I'm really paying for it now. I should have known better. I was way too depressed to go out drinking and think I could return sober. The last time I got this drunk was after Jack walked out on me. I couldn't find my car for a week after that binge! _

_Funny how I don't recall a damn thing except falling face down in front of Deeks! I don't think he was too happy about it either or having to play guardian angel when I returned home. I'm sure I'll never hear the end of it! Now I just found his note that Mac's missing and presumed kidnapped. Great! What else could go wrong!?_

_Ah….wait. Oh No!_

_It had to be just a dream. No, it HAS to be a dream. But what if it wasn't? _

_Oh Lord, I think I told Deeks that I loved him. Somebody please just shoot me and put me out of my misery!_

* * *

Mac pulled the tattered drape away from the window and looked out over the street. The sun was breaking from behind the hills and she squinted to get a better view of the rundown neighborhood below. Mac felt a bit unsteady on her feet and quickly grabbed the side of the bed for support. Her head was heavy and she was still feeling the left over side effects from the anesthetic. Mac wondered if Deeks and the rest of the team were out combing the city looking for her. The shoe was on the other foot now. She had taken part in a number of hostage negotiations but this time she _was_ the one being held prisoner. _How would they ever find her in this god forsaken section of the city?_

"Where are we?" she asked Nunez. "This street looks abandoned." Mac could see some of the other structures below. Animal droppings and peeled paint chips littered the floor in her room and she could only imagine what the rest of the building looked like.

"We're in the Arabic barrio of Los Angeles. Little Persia it's not," he said in disgust referring to the upscale Persian expatriate community of Beverly Hills.

Mac studied the man before her keenly. Luis Nunez was a shadow of his former self. The man's formal military portrait displayed in Ops bore no resemblance to the Navy Seal sitting in front of her now. A heavy beard blanketed the lower half of his face and his dark, wavy hair lay ragged on the back of his neck. His formerly robust body frame was drawn and lean and there were dark circles under his eyes. Mac didn't need to be a psychic to see what life had been like since his helicopter went down in Afghanistan and he was captured. There was a slight limp to his gate as he crossed the room and approached Mac.

"Agent McGlone, we don't have much time because my Afghani friend will be back here soon. He's the tribal Chieftain's second in command and he's already angry at me for taking you from my house. He wanted to kill you when I told him you were probably a cop or a fed and not my wife. But I convinced Hassan you could provide valuable information on Watkins."

"Yes, Arrif Hassan. We were able to identify him from tribal pictures. Lovely bloke," Mac murmured sarcastically.

"More importantly, I need to know where you have taken my wife and son. Please tell me they are safe?"

"Yes. They're in a secure location for now, being guarded by NCIS agents. I promise you they are fine."

"Don't be too sure about that. Nothing and no one is safe anymore." He paced the worn out floorboards, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets. Mac could sense his anxiety and waited for more.

"When I was first taken to the village after the Chinook went down, I figured the only way to get out alive was to go along with their anti-American rhetoric and pretend to be another sympathetic voice to their cause."

"Yes! I had a feeling you may be setting up an artificial bonding similar to many of the Stockholm Syndrome cases. Your wife, Darlene told me in grad school your dissertation was on hostage negotiation protocol."

Nunez shook his head and his eyes shifted remembering earlier times. "That seems like a thousand years ago, so young and idealistic," he drifted for a bit. "It's easy to get caught up in the rhetoric, isn't it? We're taught the Taliban are our enemies…but over time I got a chance to know these people and in the end they are a lot like us deep down. They have hopes and dreams and fears and I saw their plight first hand. I never knew it could be so easy to identify with my captors with or without a fancy clinical name attached to it. The mission is no longer black and white for me."

"Maybe you have gotten a bit too close to this whole situation, Lieutenant and lost your perspective," Mac was concerned.

"Look, there is a war going on between our people and I'm not naïve. They would have killed me if I hadn't made myself useful. So I found a way out and I took it! I convinced them with my military intel background, I could help get Watkins back if they let me return home."

"What do you mean?" Mac looked back at Nunez in confusion.

"Anthony Watkins married the Chieftain's favorite daughter," Nunez explained. "He holds a place of honor in that family and the Chief will do anything to get his son-in-law back. He claims the kid is innocent and at first I could care less if he was as pure as the driven snow. My main objective was to get the hell out of country and escape. When they slipped me back into the States a few weeks ago, I pretended to search for information while looking for my first opportunity to get away. But everywhere I went the word around the Arabic community was that Watkins was innocent. When I finally started asking questions in earnest it was clear something else went down in Afghanistan. I could have escaped a long time ago, but I was driven to see justice played out. So I stayed to help Watkins."

"But why would the CIA claim Watkins killed their agent? Why the cover up?"

"There is only one person covering this up and it's the killer!" Nunez weighed his next words carefully. "I may not agree with Taliban politics, but the uprising and the death of that CIA agent was not Watkins' fault."

"Why? How do you know for sure?"

Nunez ran his hands through his hair and looked straight at Mac. "It's a fact that American troops came into that town searching for a specific Taliban target. There were two CIA agents on the mission as intel officers. Watkins met with them first and assured the agents that the target they were looking for was not within his village. Afterwards, Watkins and Carton Fisher heard the two agents arguing behind a building. I met with Fisher a week ago and he told me they witnessed one agent assaulting the other. One went down but never got up. The next thing they know the troops return and Watkins is arrested for the death of the agent and Fisher is charged with taking up arms with the Taliban."

"Those are pretty heavy accusations, Lieutenant. You're pinning the death of that agent on another CIA operative. Fisher and Watkins could be lying."

"Then tell me why Fisher is dead! You know as well as I do that the killer got to him before he could talk to anyone else. Fisher told me that the man they saw assaulting the first agent cut him a deal during his extradition… his silence in exchange for his freedom. Fisher wasn't the most honorable guy on the planet, so he took the deal. He was scot free until I arrived back and NCIS began to connect Watkins to my disappearance. The killer knew it's only a matter of time before Fisher spilled his guts." Nuzez' passion showed on his face along with the long months of strain and fatigue.

"If all of this is true then he's looking for you and may have been the one snooping around your home the other night. One of our agents got into a scuffle with someone we assumed was you."

"Not me, I swear! I admit I have been checking in on my family since I arrived back but I never got any closer than the woods around the perimeter. I knew if I got any closer, their lives could be in jeopardy as well. When I saw your security detail at my home, I had to find a way to get a message to you. That's why I used Carter's computer."

"A very ingenious way, I may add," Mac smiled back. "It took our tech staff and me awhile to figure out you were using the Kryptos code…. but we cracked it!"

"I sent a return message last night to warn them that Watkins' capture was a set up."

Mac walked across the room and put her palm to her forehead to think. "Did you ID the murderer?"

"No, I felt it was too risky."

"Good thing," Mac said. "Because I believe the man that Watkins and Fisher identified as the murder is coming in today to meet with the team as our new CIA partner. This mission became a join task force before I left."

"That means he will know everything your team knows which will lead him directly to my family!"

Mac didn't respond immediately and walked back over to where Nunez was sitting. "Think, Mac, think!" She ordered herself. The drug made concentration difficult. Her mind was still floating in a dense fog. She stopped suddenly feeling her heart catch in her throat.

"What did you use to send that message with?"

"I have a tablet."

"If there is a GPS unit in that thing, then we got to get out of here, now!"

Nunez shook his head not understanding the gravity of their situation.

"Our tech specialist will have already pinpointed our location by now! And when they report this to our agents, our killer won't be far behind. We have to hide and find another way to get a message to NICS without that agent knowing. Come on, Lieutenant. Grab your gear and let's go!"

* * *

The tension inside the boathouse was palpable and the lines were drawn.

"He knows all that gentlemen, give him something he doesn't know!" Granger roared.

Hetty and her team were gathered around the center table. Franklin Brooks was the new face in the room and the CIA intel officer assigned to the Watkins case. They had reviewed the state of events with Brooks but Granger was annoyed the team still had no substantial leads.

"There was no cover up; my partner was killed by that punk. I was there! Who you going to believe, some anti-American zealot or a federal agent? The Arabic community is trying to get him out of jail by making it look like a set up. They have nothing to go on. We got to find Nunez and stop these people before they start a riot in the streets of LA! And if your Lieutenant is leading this revolt, there will be major ramifications involved for him as well."

Deeks looked over at Callen and the senior agent nodded his head. "Tell him," Callen said.

Deeks didn't like sharing a damn thing with Granger. The man got on every one of his last nerves. Brooks arrogance wasn't helping any either. Deeks hesitated and took in a deep breath.

"We think Mac was taken by Nunez. A Navy Seal could have executed the abduction without breaking a sweat. He came back for answers and I believe he took Mac because he thinks she has those answers. If we find Nunez, we find Mac."

"Of course! Sam groaned. "You're right…. that had the markings of a Seal operation all over it!"

"Even if you are right, Mr. Deeks that still doesn't bring us any closer to finding her or the Lieutenant," Hetty added.

"Maybe this will," Eric popped up on the large screen in the center of the room. "I found a GPS location from the device the Lieutenant used to send us his message. It's in an abandon area of buildings in East Los Angeles."

"It's a good place to start," Hetty said. "Misters Callen and Hanna I want you to check out that lead."

"Not so fast," Granger stopped them. "I want Callen and Hanna to go to the penitentiary again. Watkins is being moved into maximum security and I want them there to oversee the transfer. I also want you to talk to him again. Tell him Fisher is dead and see if that will loosen his tongue. Maybe if he knows the pieces are falling down around him, he might think he's next."

Callen looked at Sam and nodded. Taking his orders from Granger always rubbed him the wrong way but he was relieved to get out of the room and feel like he was actually accomplishing something instead of arguing about it.

"Detective Deeks, you go with Agent Brooks to the location Beale just identified and see what you can find." Granger continued. "We'll be sure to send your partner to join you when she recovers from her indescretions." His sarcasm made Deeks stiffen in anger.

Hetty looked straight ahead and avoided Owen's stare.

* * *

"Ohhhhhh, god," Kensi moaned as her hall clock chimed eleven times.

The least little bit of noise sounded like an explosion going off in her head. She walked gingerly around the room trying to find a clean pair of jeans and a blouse she could quickly throw on but finally had to resort to searching the floor. She couldn't move very fast because every time she leaned over to pick up a piece of clothing, she had to hold on to her forehead for fear she would never stand upright again. Every muscle in her body felt like rubber and her mouth was drier than the Sierra. Pulling herself together after her binge last night was not going to be an easy task. But she had no choice. Mac was missing and the case was heating up. Deeks was still her partner the last time she checked and they still had a mission to complete and two people to recover.

She also prayed to whatever god that would listen that Deeks never heard her drunken mumble before he closed the door. But so what if he did, she reasoned? Things may be awkward between the two of them but maybe it could also be the start of a new beginning. The trick was saying it to his face sober…. not an easy feat for a woman with abandonment issues.

Kensi gulped down a couple of extra strength Tylenol with a glass of orange juice and stood still while she struggled to gain control over the nausea riding the inside of her stomach. Concentrate on the mission, she fought to remind herself.

"Ah, crap," she realized her car was still over at her mother's house as she went to grab her keys. Kensi found her phone on top of her bed stand and smiled. She had a feeling Deeks left it there to make sure he was only be a phone call away in case she needed him when she woke up.

She tapped the speed dial button.

"Deeks," he answered briskly.

"Hey, it me," Kensi said softly and with a slight twinge of embarrassment.

"Should I ask how you're feeling, or should I just assume the worse?" Deeks joked and tried to act normal by not alluding in any way to the last words she spoke to him before he left her bedroom.

"I have definitely had better mornings," she admitted. "I guess I have you to thank for taking care of me when I got back."

"Yeah, well it's all part of the job. I read it in the partner handbook, chapter four. But you owe me a new pair of Nike's."

"Ah, yeah. Sorry about that," she had seen her living room floor, and could only imagine what had taken place there. "Look, I have a little bit of a problem. Can you pick me up and take me over to my mom's house to get my car?"

"No can do, Kens. We got a hit on a possible location for Lieutenant Nunez and there is a good chance Mac is with him. I'm waiting for my new partner and the CIA agent on the case. His name is Brooks. We're headed to check it out now."

"New partner? Really? I'm being replaced already?" she said half-jokingly.

"Not yet. But Granger was not amused by your night on the town. And just for the record…. if you ever pull another boneheaded stunt like that again… you're on your own. Got it?"

"Got it," she knew he was teasing but she silently promised herself that she would never disappoint Deeks like that again. "I'll call a cab. Be careful, Deeks."

"Yeah, Brooks is coming now, I got to go. Join us as soon as you can, ok?" Deeks smiled. He couldn't wait to look her directly in the eyes. He needed to know for sure if the love she professed was more than just the booze talking. He needed the truth.

Deeks stuffed his phone in his back pocket and looked up to see Brooks saunter slowly over to the car.

"You really don't expect to find anything in this place by the time we get there, do you?" Brooks slipped his hands in his jacket and casually leaned back on his heels. Deeks wanted to wipe the smarmy grin off his face with a right hook to the upper jaw. He wasn't in the mood to play nice and dismissed Brook's question with a shake of his head.

"Let's go. The quicker we get on the streets, the quicker we'll find them." Deeks began to make his way to the driver's side but stopped short and walked back to stare Brooks straight in the face. "Just so we're on the same page…. I really don't care who killed your partner. But if you stand in my way, or stop me from doing my job, I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Come on Detective, this is a wild goose chase, and you know it. Those Afghanis are just using Nunez. We should go to the safe house instead. More of a chance he's heading there if McGlone gave out any information."

"That would be the last thing Mac would tell him, let alone take him there. Look, I'm not wasting any more time standing here talking with you. Are you going to follow orders, or not?"

Brooks, smiled slowly at Deeks and opened the passenger door. Deeks hoped Kensi would join them quickly so he didn't have to deal with this arrogant bastard much longer.

* * *

Eric stopped typing as Nell let out a huge yawn that would awaken the dead. The whites of her eyes were barely visible and her head hung way back off her shoulders. She was working with no sleep, sporting an exhausted expression and wearing yesterday's wrinkled clothing, but Eric was delightfully besotted, none-the-less. Her natural girl-next-door beauty radiated brightly despite her overwhelming fatigue.

"So where exactly did you girls go again?" he asked. "You must have had a good time to come rolling in at dawn." Eric tried to act nonchalant as to their whereabouts but wasn't beyond pushing if he had to.

"Just some good ol' cowboy bar, Hetty recommended. We spent most of the time watching Kensi dance with half of the patrons." She was speaking and yawning at the same time as she gave one more long stretch before returning to her keyboard.

"Well, I was kind of worried you guys were all right, that's all."

"Why wouldn't we be, we're big girls," she looked over a bit annoyed.

"Oh, I know, I wasn't inferring that…."

Once again, just as it did in the middle of the night, Eric's encryption program began pinging insistently. The Kryptos code began filling his screen and another message was being downloaded from the software game of Connor's computer.

Nell quickly rolled her chair over to Eric's consul and watched as the program began to display the mysterious message.

**Don't trust where you find the iqlusion. Look for us over the river and through the woods.**

"What the….?" Eric whispered.

"Does that make sense to you?" Nell stared at the words in confusion. Eric didn't answer at first as his eyes ran over each word again and again.

"Wait! Deeks was right! Mac **is** with Lieutenant Nunez!"

"You got all that from those two sentences?"

"Look at the last word in the first sentence! It's from the Kryptos code… iqlusion! But this time its spelled wrong… just like the original code. Mac sent this message, I know it! She's telling us not to trust where we can find the iqlusion. But what does she mean?"

Nell and Eric were silent for a time as they tried to make sense of the cryptic message.

"I know I'm sleep deprived and this may sound really obvious but could she mean the Kryptos statue at CIA headquarters?"

Eric broke into a huge grin and looked over at his partner.

"Nell, you're brilliant!" He spontaneously reached over to take her face in both hands and gave her a firm kiss on her lips. Eric moved away quickly to stand next to the large screen excited to untangle the rest of the clue. Nell was frozen in place, still reeling from the kiss and having no memory of what she just said.

"Am I interrupting something?" Kensi smiled sweetly catching the tail end of the kiss.

"Kensi," Eric said ignoring her question. "We got another coded message and this time it's from Mac."

"Well at least she's alive. Do the others know yet?"

"No, we're still trying to make sense of it. The first sentence has to do with the CIA," he pointed to the screen.

"Is she saying not to trust the CIA?" Kensi asked trying to pull the pieces of the puzzle together.

"Possibly," Eric hesitated. "But what about the rest of the code?"

"It's from a poem or a song, isn't it?" Nell finally found her voice again.

"Yeah, _over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go_," Kensi recited the words by memory. "I remember singing it at Thanksgiving."

"Isn't there a Grandmother's House all-you-can eat buffet restaurant in LA? Could that be where they are?" Nell reasoned.

Eric's fingers flew over the keyboard, identifying the location of the restaurant. "Yep, here it is 5th and Pico! Is she amazing or what?" Eric looked over at Nell with pride.

"Just no more kissing in Ops." Nell held up her hands. "Once is enough!" She rolled her eyes at Eric who was looking quite pleased with himself.

"If Mac is warning us not to trust the CIA and Brooks in particular, then Deeks could be in a lot of trouble." Kensi was slowly becoming very concerned for her partner's safety. "Have you had any contact with him since they left the Boathouse? It has to be about two hours now."

"No, nothing," Eric responded.

Kensi began to race out of Ops but stopped before she passed through the doors. "Eric, let Hetty know that I'm headed to the restaurant and I'll try to warn Deeks along the way. Make sure that message up there is for Hetty's eyes only. We don't want that information getting into the wrong hands."

Kensi had already dialed Deeks number twice by the time she reached her car and turned the key in the ignition.

"Come on Deeks, pick up! Where the hell are you?"


End file.
